The ballad of Ogie & Michelle

The long-discredited manghuhula-turned-national-clown should bury her head (just her head) in shame. Almost seven years ago when Ogie Alcasid and Michelle van Eimeren got married after they met and matched during the 1994 Miss Universe Pageant held here, he as the mascot Manolo and she as Australia’s bet, the manghuhula brazenly (as she always does in everything she does, including washing her dirty, smelly linen in public) predicted that the interracial marriage wouldn’t last a year.

Look at Ogie and Michelle now: They’re celebrating their seventh wedding anniversary in October and their happy and harmonious togetherness is blessed with two beautiful daughters, Leila, 5, and Sarah who’s turning five months old today, both delivered in Australia. Michelle has even quit her showbiz career (launched by a romance-comedy entitled Manolo en Michelle with Ogie as leading man, he as a fisherman and she as a mermaid) to be a full-time wife and mother.

Conversations visited the couple last Friday morning at their well-appointed rented house in Acropolis, Quezon City, the interiors of which were done all in white. It was 10:30 in the morning and the whole place was alive. Even the three chihuahuas (complete with name tags, one of them named Whoopi, as in Goldberg) were excited. They were all over the place, all over the visitors.

Leila came down first, dressed for school (British School at Fort Bonifacio just nearby), so cute she looked like a future Miss Australia/Miss Philippines. In a little while, Michelle and Ogie appeared, with little Sarah astride her dad’s hips. It was presumably Ogie who fixed both girls as he usually did whenever he was home and not in hurry to meet his very busy (hectic!) schedule, especially these days when he’s rehearsing for several shows.

(Ogie Alcasid: OA sa Puso will be mounted at Onstage in Greenbelt, Makati City. Guests include Kyla and Karylle on Feb. 7 and 8; Jaya on Feb. 13, 14 and 15; and Sex Balls on Feb. 13 and 15. Tickets are priced at P1,300, P1,000 and P800 for the Feb. 7 and 8 shows; and P1,500, P1,200 and P900 for the Feb. 13, 14 and 15 shows. For inquiries, call Viva Concerts at 413-2572.)

You’re welcome to (as usual) eavesdrop on our Conversation:

What a beautiful house! Very cozy.

Ogie: You know many other houses we looked at before we settled on this one?

Michelle: Twenty, including those in Alabang and Makati, kung saan-saan pa.

Ogie: The first time we entered this one, we knew at once that this is it. You can feel it naman, di ba? Mayroong "at-home" feeling kaagad.

You’re celebrating your seventh wedding anniversary in October. You’re now, so to speak, entering the "seven-year itch" period. How has your marriage been so far?

Michelle: Every marriage has its trials, ’no. I just feel so blessed that we haven’t had trials as bad as those of other couples that we hear about. I think what’s important is that we believe in each other no matter what; we stay focused on what’s important in our relationship. What’s nice is that we respect each other.

What’s the biggest trial that you’ve been through?

Ogie (Teasing Michelle): Wala kang masabi, ano?

Michelle: Trials not against each other – you know, not because he has done something or I have done something. I think one of the biggest trials our family has been through was when Leila and I got sick of dengue. We lay side by side in bed in the hospital for days. We were very ill. It was very scary. I needed two blood transfusions.

Ogie: The darkest moment of our lives. I had to take a two-week leave from work. Walang yaya ang mga anak namin so I had to be the yaya to them and to Michelle. I had to stay in the hospital everyday; I had to arrange for all the blood donors, one of them was, of course, me.

Michelle: I really thank all the blood donors, one of them Philip de Belen, father of Gelli (Who, with husband Ariel Rivera and their kids, were Michelle and Ogie’s neighbors at the townhouse they were staying in in Quezon City. – RFL). He must really have great blood because it helped save me.

Ogie: It was very, very scary.

Michelle: I owe my life to these people. One of them, Rey Sison, donated blood even if we didn’t know each other personally. Rey is a friend of my friend Alvie who went to school with Ogie. The process of getting platelets is very painful daw; it takes many hours. They take out your blood, they separate it and then ’yung hindi kailangan ibinabalik sa body mo. That’s why I’m grateful to the blood donors because they had to go through that painful process. Until now, I still send cards to them, including Rey Sison (who’s in advertising).

Interracial marriages don’t usually work. How are you making yours work – beautifully?

Michelle: (Teasing Ogie, pretending to be shocked): You are Filipino? Why didn’t you tell me!?

Ogie (Poker-faced): I’m Thai!

Michelle: I don’t think about is as being different or being interracial or being a challenge.

Ogie: I think what we do is try to work out what’s best for us. For example, our children. Leila goes to a British school where she’s at home probably because there are several kids there like her. You know, interracial. As far as food is concerned, I enjoy eating European food as much as I enjoy Filipino food. Same with Michelle.

How do you deal with cultural differences, if any?

Michelle: There’s not really that many.

Ogie: She’s right. Parang walang cultural differences. It’s probably because Michelle has easily embraced and adapted herself to Filipino culture.

Could it be because, having studied at Sophia University as a scholar in Japan, you had earlier imbibed Asian culture?

Michelle: Maybe because I’ve been in Asia for so long. Australia is Asian in many ways. Maybe it sounds a bit weird or Utopian but I don’t really look at people in terms of where they come from; I never loook at culture as a barrier but as another exciting facet of the world and, you know, new things to learn and explore… something to embrace.

No religious differences between you?

Ogie: We’re both Catholic.

Michelle: That makes things easier. You see, religious differences are a big factor in the success or failure of a marriage.

Ogie (Still poker-faced): Actually, I’m Buddhist.

What do you usually fight about?

Ogie (Blushing a bit): Me! My toilet habits.

Michelle: (Making a face): Yeah! Nakakainis!

Toilet habits? Ano ’yon?

Michelle: The tissue roll! He doesn’t leave it near the toilet; he puts it near the wash basin. So when my daughter goes to the toilet, hindi niya maabot ang tissue roll.

So how do you sort out that little problem?

Michelle: I just go, Harrrrrrrrrr!!! Can you please…!!! It’s so petty talaga. (Followed by laughter)

Ogie: Talaga!

Michelle: But you know what we really fight about? Him!

What about him?

Michelle: (Looking at Ogie, as if pleading): Can I?

Ogie (Threatening kunwari): I dare you to name one!

Michelle: (Trying to be "defiant") O, sige! Dare me!

Ogie (Relenting kunwari): O, sige na. Go ahead!

Michelle: He doesn’t have enough self-confidence.

Ogie: You think so?

At this stage of his very successful career!?!

Michelle: He still doubts himself. Yeah, he still doubts himself! And I constantly berate him for that. You know, what !?! I tell him, "You know, If I can sell one album, happy na ako!" He sells 40,000 at malungkot pa siya. "Ano’ng problema mo!"

Ogie (Addressing Michelle): What about you? You belittle the fact that you were Miss Australia. You think it’s nothing.

Michelle: Because it isn’t anything!

Ogie: It is something!

Michelle: You’re being judged by what God gave you.What did I do for that!

Ogie: How did you win?

By putting to good use what God has given you.

Ogie: Precisely!

Michelle: Maybe I’m a bit judgmental. I just feel that – sorry to beauty queens out there – it’s not something that I find very important.

Who’s the dominant one between the two of you?

Ogie: Me!

Despite your size?

Michelle (Breaking into laughter): Remember, big things come in small packages.

How does Ogie show his being dominant?

Michelle: He tends to be very particular about the way he thinks about how things are done. Actually, I pretend to be dominant but he’s really the dominant one. I guess people perceive me to be so. I’m just maingay and he’s tahimik.

Ogie: She’s like a myna.

Michelle: He’s supportive, all right. But sometimes, when I ask him and he nods and says, "You’re okay!," I would tell him, "Can you please care?" Minsan, I want him to mind. I have this insecurity because I’m fat.

No, you’re not fat. You’re healthy.

Michelle (Adamant): No, I’m fat. I know the truth.

Ogie: But she has lost a lot of weight already.

Michelle: Nine pounds and a half!

Ogie: She looks fine as she is, doesn’t she?

How did you blend into each other’s family?

Michelle: My parents adore him.

Now they do?

Michelle: What happened was not naman him per se. It didn’t have anything to do with who he was, what he was, where he came from. It would have been any guy. It was the fact that their only child, and a daughter at that, whom they considered their princess, was getting married and going to live in another country. They felt that they were losing a daughter. I have my own kids now. I understand my parents.

Now they have four children – you and Ogie and your two daughters.

Ogie: Exactly!

Michelle: My Dad is not madaldal but when he talks to Ogie (often during overseas calls), aba, I get inggit because click na click sila! They’re buddies: magka-sundo sila! When we go to Australia to visit (my parents), Ogie and my Dad go out. Alam ko, ilang oras bago sila uuwi ng bahay.

Ogie: I come from a big family; I have two sisters and one brother, and several extended families, including dozens of aunts and uncles, dozens of cousins. Michelle nga was asking me, "How come you have so many lolos and lolas?"

How much of you now is Filipino?

Michelle: I’d rather describe myself as a multi-cultural person.

And you, Ogie, how much of you now is Australian?

Ogie: I get along with her friends. Sa tingin ko nga, Australian na ang accent ko, e.

How are you bringing up your kids, more of the Australian way or more of the Filipino way?

Michelle: Multi-cultural.

Ogie: We’re very hands-on parents.

Michelle: We purposely didn’t hire any yaya because we wanted to personally take care of our children. We have maids who clean the house and that helps a lot. That way, we can devote all our time to our children. The maids are like members of our family already.

Ogie: When I’m home, no matter how tired I am, I take over from Michelle in attending to the kids. I help change the diapers (of Sarah) and in the feeding, pati pagpapaligo sa kanila.

How many times a week are you talagang home?

Ogie: I’m home the whole of Tuesdays. That’s when I turn off my cellphone and enjoy my family’s company. Tuesdays are my family days.

Michelle: But there are days, like today, when he’s home most of the morning. Yesterday, he was home most of the morning. He works so hard and he’s always exhausted. But what’s so sweet aboout him is that he comes home and he recognizes the fact that looking after the kids is no joke; it’s very tiring. Kahit pagod siya, he’d say, "Give Sarah to me so I can spend time with her." He knows that I’d like to rest, too. Or he would take Leila to the park so the baby and I can take a nap. Not many men/husbands do that and I really appreciate it.

What’s your schedule like these days, Ogie?

Ogie: The rest of the week is divided into tapings, recordings, concerts, guestings, shooting (movies).

Meaning, you have no time to, ehem, play around?

Ogie (Looking and sounding very serious): I don’t even have time to play golf.

Michelle: We used to play golf together, but that was before the kids started coming.

Who’s the disciplinarian between the two of you?

Ogie and Michelle: We both are.

Ogie: But I think I’m more...mas nakakatakot kasi ako, e.

Michelle: Maski ako, kung minsan natatakot sa kanya. Totoo ‘yan!

Ogie; When I start raising my voice, Leila would start crawling. For example, I’d ask her to eat fast or to take a bath. She would dilly-dally and continue watching TV. At first, medyo malambot ako, just like Michelle who’s malambot all the time maski galit na siya.

Michelle: Leila wouldn’t listen to me. She’d just say, "Okay." So I’d raise my voice a little bit and tell her, "My God, I’m serious!" Still, she won’t budge a bit. She’d just say, "Yeah!" Dini-deadma niya ako. But when it’s Ogie who raises his voice, Leila pays attention. Maski ako nayayanig.

Ogie: It’s because I rarely raise my voice.

Whose decision was it for Michelle to quit showbiz?

Michelle: Mine.

Ogie: Ako kasi, kung ano ang gusto niya, doon ako.

Michelle: He supports me; he’s supportive. Ogie would never make me stop working. It was my own decision. I would have kept working but the most important thing for me is to devote full time to our kids. I really want to be a hands-on mother. I want to have more time to be a wife to my husband and a mother to our children. For me, that’s very important for the success of a family. That’s not to say that I’m just a housewife or I’m subservient to my husband. I want to be there when they need me.

Don’t you have any other activity, like a hobby for instance?

Michelle: Pottery. Yes, I dabble in pottery. It started as a hobby and now I’m seriously thinking of turning it into a commercial venture. Thinking pa lang naman."

You make such beautiful jars and vases, among other things.

Michelle: You know, pottery is such a good therapy, too. Everything is hand-made. You remember that scene in Ghost showing Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze making a jar (with Unchained Melody on the soundtrack)? That’s how I do my jars and my vases, kaya lang manual. It’s a very good therapy, I tell you.

What’s the best thing about being Mrs. Ogie Alcasid?

Michelle: He’s such a wonderful man. The best part is sharing my life with someone who is sensitive and appreciative. He’s a great father. I don’t even have to remind him to spend time with his kids; I don’t have to remind him of any of the things that most wives nag their husbands about. The only things I’m complaining about are my own demons.

Demons?

Michelle: Yes. My insecurities. I’m constantly struggling against them.

Doesn’t the age difference between you (Ogie is 35, Michelle is turning 30 on March 15) get in the way?

Michelle and Ogie: Not at all.

What about the disparity in height (Michelle stands 5’10" and Ogie, 5’4)?

Michelle and Ogie: Neither does it! (It shouldn’t. Look at Michelle’s kababayan, Nicole Kidman, who towered over ex-husband Tom Cruise. Or Jules Ledesma and Assunta de Rossi who aren’t bothered by the seven-inch difference in their height. - RFL)

Ogie: What’s interesting is that we have the same shoe size.

Michelle: And I used to fit into his maong pants. That was before... noon pa ’yon! (Shrugging)

Ogie: We like the same movies...

Michelle: Except horror movies.

On a scale of one to 10, how would you rate Ogie as a husband?

Michelle: A perfect 20!

As a father?

Michelle: A perfect 20!

And you, Ogie. Rate Michelle.

Michelle (Threatening kunwari): Don’t lie!

Ogie: All I can say is that she’s a better wife to me than I am a husband to her. She’s very selfless. I would attribute my success to her. She’s the one who constantly pushes me. She’s the wind beneath my wings!