‘Together and complete for the last time’

I had washed the dishes, swept the floor and as I sat down to enjoy my early morning coffee, I noticed the Christmas card that was like no other. This one did not end in the box with the rest on the “Don’t Forget” pile. This Christmas card looked almost like a post card from a family member so far, far, away.

There was something so special about it that I tucked it in the napkin holder of our small dining table. I must have looked at it at least four if not five times in the past few days and every time I did, the deep message and feelings it carried just kept growing.

At first glance the card was a compilation of family photos all tied together by a story that started in December 2021. On one side of the card was a picture of the entire family in front of “The Tree of Life” at the Audubon Park, in Constance, New Orleans. Included in the photo were the couple, their two sons, their daughter, a daughter-in-law and a son-in-law and three grandchildren.

On the other side of the card were four photos, the biggest of which was all of them standing on the porch dressed as they regularly did. Nothing fancy or formal, no pretend dress up, just plain real. Then there were three photos: all the women and girls of the family/Grandpa and Grandma with the grandkids sitting on a wooden swing on the porch New Orleans style and last but not least a photo of my friend and his wife, arms around each other.

With children and grandchildren in different parts of the world and the US, it was no easy feat, and I remember telling my friend to just go because we are not promised tomorrow. The pressure of business, responsibilities, etc. were all bearing down on him, but he did not need reminding that his wife had had a liver transplant and was going through a rough patch every now and then.

With my friend’s permission, allow me to share this Christmas message to you our dear readers:

Christmas 2022

To all our Wonderful Friends,

Last December 2021, we decided to spend Christmas and the holidays in our home on Constance, New Orleans to be together with Maureen. We then celebrated New Year’s Eve in Austin (Tx) and New Year’s Day visiting the Alamo in San Antonio (Tx). It was a beautiful journey with family. Upon our return to New Orleans we took beautiful family photographs at the Tree of Life at Audubon Park & at our home on Constance street.

We want to share the joy and happiness of these treasured photos of our family“together and complete for the last time” in New Orleans as we remember Maureen who left us on 31 March 2022.

May you and your families continue to be blessed with good health and happiness.

From the Soongs: Willie & Maureen – Louele, Macky & Nola

Marc, Loralee, Gabbie & Noelle, Jason & Angelica.

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In this season of get togethers, reunions and lots of selfies, the line “together and complete for the last time” hits home. Looking back at the last two years, we are reminded of so many families and people who were denied a chance to say goodbye because of Covid to infected loved ones. They could not be at the bedside or even have a proper wake. Then there are those taken by cancer, aneurysms, accidents and violent incidents.

Many of us are tempted to forego a reunion or a family gathering, especially one where people are irritating, boring or have nothing new to say or show every year. I invite you to look back at the last two years when we could not even have boring company and when many of us ended up talking to our plants, dogs, chickens, etc.

Before Covid, the general concern about going home to the province or hosting a family gathering or reunion was often financial in nature and the time it consumes. If anything, Covid should have taught all of us that we are not promised tomorrow, you can earn back money you spend but you cannot buy back the life or health of someone no longer there.

Take the trip, join the party, buy the gifts. As my friend Anjo Perez once told me in Tokyo while I struggled to buy a few strips of genuine Kobe beef/Wagyu, “Pumikit ka na lang Kuyang” — just close your eyes and pay the bill! I bought three slices: for my wife Karen, our daughter Hannah and myself. Yes, I should have bought six and closed my eyes longer!

This is also the time of the year when we have every perfect excuse and reason to repair or rebuild relationships broken or taken for granted. A time to overcome our hurts or pushback at our fear of rejection and give things another try. Send out a text or a PM, send a gift and, if all else fails, say a prayer. As my Mother once said: “We can run away from God all we want until we die and then he has us where he wants us.” The same thing goes for broken relationships. He who avoids, ultimately gives the first accounting to God.

My friend Willie has taught us two very important lesson: first is to GO. Go home, Go to the homecoming, Go to the party, Go to the offended person. The second is to remember that the photos we take now and then take for granted could be our final memory of when we were “together and complete for the last time.”

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