That bitter taste in the mouth

I tried to be strong as I could feel the stress coming from within my system.

I told The Ilocana (my wife Lilia), “I can taste bitterness in my mouth.”

This happened many years ago when some people created fake news against me and tried their hands at slander. I remember asking a friend of mine, who is a doctor, why I could taste the bitter taste. He smiled at me and said, “That’s adrenaline.” Wow! What a lesson learned.

This is why one golfer who cussed and cursed looked at the pastor and asked, “What keeps you cool?” The pastor replied, “I tried to control my nerves. But when I spit, the grass dies.”

I never forgot that lesson. I have allowed this incident to remind me that there is a better way to deal with the bitter taste of anger and stress, even in the midst of fake news and slander.

There’s no doubt that slander hurts. There is only one letter difference between “words” and “swords”. Sir Francis Bacon expressed an insightful truth relating to slander when he said, “The worthiest persons are frequently attacked by slander, as we generally find it to be the best fruit which the birds will peck at.”

I do not understand why, but every time campaign season comes, there will be a lot of unpleasant talk happening. Slander here and there, and it is so difficult for us to know what is true and what is fake.  It seems that the more successful or popular a person is, the more slander and attack would come that person’s way. This is why I refrain from airing my opinions on political issues unless I have the full details of the story and in most cases, we all do not.

“Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.” This is often true.  But it is also true that where there is smoke, there is often a smoke machine.  Today’s communications machineries are make up the sophisticated smoke machines that can multiply slander fast and furiously. And it is all so easy to be sucked into the system. But truth to tell, we must convict someone of sin on the basis of fire, and not smoke. It is so hard to tell the difference because a man’s enemies can always arrange for some smoke and, in fact, there are organizations or individuals that are specialists in smoke-making.  To be careful and to be intelligent, we should, therefore, content ourselves during the course of controversy to adopt the philosophy: “If there is smoke, there is smoke.”

The one common practice among dishonest people is that they resort to slander in order to discredit the righteous. In order to avoid exposure and having to admit they are wrong, they would resort to framing the righteous and frustrate the unsuspecting, adopting the philosophy that a lie, when told frequently enough, will become a truth. The sad fact of this is that the naïve and the unsuspecting can be convinced that the slander is true. Perhaps, because controversy and slander are juicy bits of materials effective for gossips and chatter.

Here are some lessons I have learned through my own personal experience and  having wrestled with slander and fake news. If you are at the painful receiving end of fake news and slander, I hope you find the following ideas helpful:

1. A popular newscaster encouraged me with this thought: “Francis, the people who know you won’t believe them and the people who do not know you do not even care. So, chill!” What simple advice it is, yet brilliant in its logic.

2. A slander is always an attack on your integrity, but it cannot destroy or touch your faithfulness unless you succumb or compromise your value system. If you remain faithful, you will reap the fruit of faithfulness, and this is called “success.”

3. When you are being slandered, refuse to allow yourself to be enslaved through the ploys of their deceit the slander has created. Refuse to play the same game. This is when you need to remember that if you can’t beat them, DO NOT join them. Remain positive and encouraging. Let there be a glowing difference between poison and balm.

Mark Twain says, “It takes your enemy and your friend to work together to hurt you to the heart; the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.” But then again, you have the free will to choose how to respond to such.

Criss Jami says this beautifully: “The only thing more frustrating than slanderers is those foolish enough to listen to them.” Do not take part in foolish talk, and if you are the subject of such, then refuse to retaliate but insist on honesty, truthfulness and faithfulness. These are the things of value that will last. Trust me. I know what I am talking about.

(Experience two inspiring days of leadership training with Francis Kong in his highly- acclaimed Level Up Leadership seminar-workshop on Sept. 18 and 19 at Makati Diamond Residences near Greenbelt 1. For registration or inquiries, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or register online at www.levelupleadership.ph)