Beauty’s struggle with anxiety

MANILA, Philippines – Beauty Gonzalez said there are days when she struggles with anxiety, and that she is afraid of going to sleep. But then, horror films don’t scare her.

That’s why Beauty is challenged by working on a horror film than in drama as she does in Star Cinema’s Halloween offering Hellcome Home, which also co-stars Dennis Trillo, Raymond Bagatsing, Alyssa Muhlach, Nhikzy Calma, Teejay Marquez, Miel Espinosa and Gillian Vicencio, among others.

“For me, just to imagine yourself being scared and to imagine that there is something in front of you, that’s scary and to hold on to that emotion until the director tells you to cut are altogether difficult. I don’t believe in ghosts so I really have to imagine ano ba ‘yung multo sa magiging reaction at hitsura ko,” she said at the recent press conference for the supernatural thriller that is set to open today in cinemas nationwide.

Beauty, who is married to art curator Norman Crisologo, added, “I like collecting morbid stuff and weird stuff like when I started doing horror films, I did a lot of research (for the role), parang mas madali pa sa akin na sinampal o paiyakin ako kasi sanay na sanay na ko doon. This one, it was quite hard but I enjoyed the journey because the director (Bobby Bonifacio Jr.) and everyone in the production team guided us to have that uninterrupted emotion.”

Just recently, her extraordinary collection became the subject of the Gold Squad vlog of Francine Diaz, Andrea Brillantes, Kyle Echarri and Seth Fedelin. Beauty allowed their fans and YouTube subscribers to take a peek inside her home. It was seen in the video how a white-painted skull was turned into a decorative piece and placed right beside her front door. An old wooden cabinet, images of hands and feet, real shark teeth and a floor lampshade with a wooden image of a woman underneath are just some of the interesting pieces in her collection.

“I only showed those in the living room but there are more in other parts (of the house). I started collecting when I was young and there’s a feeling of happiness by just looking at them. I don’t know, it’s just so hard to explain. I find beauty in sadness. I find beauty in old stuff, ‘yung mga sira-sira na gamit. I like storing those things rather than buying new furniture na walang istorya.”

Meanwhile, Beauty doesn’t see anything to worry about portraying mother roles on the big and small screens. She’s the mom of Francine in the Kapamilya afternoon soap Kadenang Ginto, while Teejay is her son in Hellcome Home.

“I already portrayed mom so many times. I am happy doing my job and people believe that I’m a mother of these kids. Okay lang as long as I don’t look like a real mom in person, ‘yun ang importante,” said the 28-year-old actress.

“It feels good to do another project like this, which is different from Kadena for me not to get stuck in just one style of acting — maiba naman ‘yung arte and people will notice that I can also do horror,” Beauty concluded.