'Eat, Play, Lav'

Blame it on the bossa nova? Nope. Blame it on the BUS, ano ba? Sobra na ba sabits? In short, so-na-ba-bits?! Ngek!

First, it was a passenger bus in Benguet that fell off a cliff and killed several people. Then a young beauty queen and her friends were rammed to death by another wayward passenger bus in Bicol. And there were other “bus-tard drivers” that followed, but the most tragic bus story was the one about the tourist bus (now it’s called a TOO RISKy bus) at the Quirino Grandstand. Nova ‘yan Boss Abunda? Magbabalik pa ba ang…

The Bus?!

‘Wag now na please!

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While nearly everybody is busy in their kwentong kutsero, debateng barbero and pakialamerong usisero as to their personal and varied reactions concerning the “chainsaw of events” (mabigat at nakakatakot talaga) that took place in the last few weeks (with the exception of Venus Raj’s — hers was not about hostage-taking, but a case of “wrong question-taking from the hosts!”), this writer is having his own major-major problem to face in about two week’s time — EAT, PLAY, LAV.

Actually, the dilemma is on the second and third words. You see, we really have to “EAT” on Sept. 18, a Saturday. The Eat, Bulaga! Dabarkads will have a show at the Heritage Forum in Anaheim, California at 7:30 p.m. (for ticket information: please call (714) 932-7532 or e-mail at [email protected]).

“PLAY” and “LAV” is whether I’ll play the slot machines in Las Vegas after the show. Ngek!

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After the nightmarish mishandling of the hostage-taking incident at the Luneta that embarrassed the Philippines before the world, now comes, not the Q & A, but the YOU & HEY portion — as in, “Hey, you, you kasi eh! You and you are the may kasalanan!”

Korekek! Sisihan na naman! Anak ng fault talaga!

Hi-ho sisi-hilver away! Once again, everybody becomes a Wrong Ranger!

Blame here, blame there, blame this and blame that! Ang daming errorists!

Uy, s’yanga pala, speaking of “wrongs,” shameless plugging na ‘to, tutal marami naman ngayon ang mga walang-hiya eh.

Beginning tomorrow, you will have a daily dose of “errorism” (Monday through Friday at 5:30-6 p.m. on TV5). Wow, Mali!, your favorite pang-goodtime ng Pilipinas will errorize you as “Wow…Meganon?!”

Now, do you know why most Pinoys are Wrong Rangers and Errorists; yun bang mahilig manisi? Well, maybe it’s because of how we EAT and PLAY (na naman?). O, hindi ba? We love Turo-Turo! And one of our favorite games is where we sing, “Little sunny water, sleeping inday corner… wake up, wake up and wash your face and do the bambol shake… oh shake it to the left and shake it to the right … POINT to the east and POINT to the west… POINT to the one that you like best!” Mahilig talaga tayong manisi at mag-point-point.

Ngek!

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Speaking of turo-turo, Turo-Turo is one of the hilarious segments in my son Jako’s TV show, The Front Act Show, on SOLARtv Channel 9 every Saturday at 4:30 p.m.