What I Am Sam taught me about love

The story of I Am Sam is simple yet rich with insight and lessons. Though you need not be a genius to understand its plot, it stimulates you both philosophically and emotionally and questions your stand on what love really means. Is love really all you need or is it just a utopian fantasy where money, maturity, and financial security don’t matter? I Am Sam isn’t a story about an idealistic world where love solely pays the bills; rather, it’s an endearing story about how love conquers all.

Sam Dawson, played exceptionally by Sean Penn, is a man with the intellectual capacity of a seven-year-old. He manages to keep a humble apartment by doing simple tasks at Starbucks. All is well in his life when, accidentally, he impregnates a homeless woman who doesn’t want anything to do with him. Left all alone to raise his baby girl, he develops a bond with Lucy, whom he named after a Beatles song.

The conflict starts when Lucy turns seven. She starts to ask Sam questions about life and about his condition. When she asks him why he’s different from other daddies, he can only say sorry. She responds with a comforting reassurance which goes, "Don’t be sorry. I’m lucky. Nobody else’s daddy comes to the park." As she enters school, people become concerned with Sam’s condition and its effect on Lucy’s learning and future. With Lucy’s welfare in mind, they try to take her away from Sam and put her under someone else’s care. Not one to give his daughter up, Sam fights for her with the help of friends and a lawyer, Rita (played by Michelle Pfeiffer) whose help he gets through persistence, determination and luck.

Sam might not be intelligent but he knows what he wants and fights for it. What he lacks "up there," he makes up with his heart. He may not be able to teach Lucy algorithms or chemical equations but he can teach her about the lessons that one can never learn from books: lessons on life and love. Too often we focus on the intellectual aspect of things that we forget that what makes us people of worth and value is what’s in our hearts and not how much we know.

One witness who supports Sam is a doctor raised by her mother who had the mind of an eight year old. The mother, despite her condition, had recognized her daughter’s abilities and encouraged her to pursue her dreams. Maybe she wasn’t able to help the doctor in reviewing for exams but, like Sam, taught her daughter patience and compassion.

Often we are guilty of judging and being condescending toward people who are not of "normal" thinking whereas sometimes they are the ones who show us how it is to be human. Take for example Sam’s friends who are also retarded. Despite their condition, they help him raise Lucy and support him in his fight for her. One scene that really touched me was when Lucy needed to get some school shoes. Together with her father and his friends, they all went to the shoe store. As they were paying, Sam was oblivious to the fact that he didn’t have enough money. It was extremely moving when everyone started pulling out bills from their pockets to help Sam pay for the shoes. Without having to ask them, they gave him all that they had.

No one can deny that an intellectually-challenged man raising a child can pose some serious problems. For instance, Sam always reads Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss to Lucy at night but as she gets more advanced storybooks, she tries to hold herself back because she knows Sam can’t comprehend them anymore. She won’t read words that are difficult for him to read and won’t say words related to his condition. Teachers in school notice this, giving them even more conviction to take her away from her dad. They argue that she’s afraid to learn, scared to be more intelligent than he is which is a danger to her learning. Surprisingly, even Sam notices this and tells her how it makes him happy when she reads. Despite her love for him, Lucy also starts showing little signs of embarrassment when her classmates make fun of her dad. Nevertheless, she helps him fight for their relationship and it becomes apparent to the viewer that no matter how much people try to break them apart, their love for each other will bring them back together.

One thing that amazes me about this movie is how it was able to build up the character of Sam’s lawyer Rita, and somehow incorporate her into the father-daughter plot. It’s also incredible how two very different people are able to help each other and in a way, help themselves. Rita is a self-absorbed, selfish, often irate lawyer who only cares about her reputation and money. Luckily, Sam, who randomly picks her out from the yellow pages, is in the right place at the right time. When her colleagues who despise her see her talking to Sam, she decides to take his case for free, something totally out of her character. At the outset, she does this to prove to them that she has a charitable side despite her bitchiness. In the end, she learns more about herself and admits to Sam that she got more out of their relationship than he probably did. As she tries to save a relationship, she understands more about her own life and what really matters.

In Sam, one can see the embodiment of someone who is selfless, devoted, with an abundance of unconditional love. When Lucy’s godmother Annie is called to the witness stand, she states that she never doubted Sam’s ability. Looking at Lucy, everybody might think that she’s smart as she is despite Sam but Annie believes she is smart because of Sam. He encourages her to learn, listens to her thoughts and questions, and never fails to be there for her. In a way, Sam’s condition has helped Lucy grow up because she learned early on to be independent and self-reliant.

When Sam is asked about what makes him think he can be a good father, his reply could only come from someone who genuinely loves his child: "I have had a lot of time to think about what it is that makes somebody a good parent and it’s about constancy, it’s about patience, and listening. And it’s about pretending to listen even when you can’t listen anymore and it’s about love." Well said.

I Am Sam is not only a story about love; it also shows us how all of us can feel helpless and useless but it is how we treat challenges that will determine how we fare against our weaknesses or the circumstances we are faced with. Sam, intellectually challenged as he is, doesn’t see this as a hindrance to living his life to the fullest and giving all that he can to Lucy. Despite his disability, he tries hard to accomplish things and learn more things. On the other hand, Rita, whom Sam regards as perfect, suddenly becomes an object of pity when he tries to argue with her. Sam thinks that people like Rita don’t know what it’s like to get hurt because they don’t have feelings. This enrages Rita who tells him that "perfect" people like her also feel lost, little, ugly and indispensable. She might have everything but without her family’s love, she feels miserable.

Comparing Rita and Sam, we see that Sam is truly more fortunate than she is. He isn’t rich but he his very happy as long as Lucy and he are together. Here we see a man who is content and satisfied with what he has and who he is. On the other hand, although Rita is rich and successful, she realizes when she meets Sam that she has been entertaining the wrong priorities. Her marriage is falling apart and she would give anything just to be closer to her son. At one point, she gets frustrated when her son gives her a cold shoulder even though she has spent hours buying a toy for him. Money can’t buy love and obviously, her son needs attention and caring more than he needs all the toys money can buy.

All in all, I Am Sam is a story that contradicts the importance of stature or intelligence in a person’s life. We become better persons not by striving to get higher GPAs or by reading more books. We become better by trying to live each day with a pure heart full of compassion, respect and honesty. People must not be judged by what they are but by who they are and how they relate to everyone else. As a line in the movie goes: "One’s intellectual capacity has no bearing on one’s ability to love." Sam shows us a love that is unconditional, a love that makes allowances for mistakes, a love that doesn’t give up.