Not all negative remarks are negative

There is a charming story from history, and if you happen to be a sports car enthusiast, you may have heard about this epic tale. So, the story goes this way.

Once upon a time, there was a man who made tractors. His business grew, and he got wealthy enough to be able to purchase a Ferrari. Happy and excited this farmer brought his Ferrari home and started driving it. But he soon began experiencing problems with the clutch, and he was not very happy with it.

Being an automobile creator himself, he thought it was best that he meet Enzo Ferrari, the founder of Ferrari, and give his suggestions. So, he was able to secure an appointment with him and started talking about the problems he was having with his car’s clutch and offered a few suggestions to fix it.

Enzo Ferrari stopped him midway. Being a person who has difficulty accepting criticism and instead of listening to the ideas and suggestions, he retorts with the now-famous words: “Let me make cars. You stick to making tractors.”

The words significantly hurt the man as they would hurt anyone else who considered themselves an automobile expert. The insult was painful because this farmer was also an engineer. His tractors were the best in Italy. He went home furious and made a massive proclamation to his family– “I am going to build sports cars, and they would be faster and better than the cars of Enzo Ferrari’s.” And he did. This farmer is named Ferrucio Lamborghini, and his line of sports cars is now synonymous with luxury and top performance.

We may have had discouraging and sometimes disparaging remarks thrown our way. These may come from friends but are particularly painful from the same people we look up to. We can get defensive or even sink into depression, but wise people use the same words to fuel and fill themselves with the determination to do the best work they can do. Channeling the energy correctly, you and I can experience tremendous and positive results.

Early in my speaking career, a veteran speaker disagreed with my thoughts and ideas. And when it was his turn to speak, he grabbed the microphone and started his speech with the opening statement, “Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, I will prove to you that this young speaker whom you just heard does not know a single thing he was talking about...” It was an audience made up of hundreds of chapter presidents.

On another occasion, I presented some leadership principles in front of a body of trainers and program developers, after which one of them pulled me aside and said, “Young man, we are professional trainers. You should not have done all those activities that are so ludicrous. You’ve got a long way to learn and go.” On both occasions, the stringent remarks cut me to the core, making me question whether speaking and training was a career meant for me.

In both cases, my response was the same. Determined to improve my craft, I spoke more and did the activities more, only to find out that the same “professional trainer” was copying the movements I was using. And what about the one who criticized me in front of the audience? I reasoned that his opinions do not define me, and as long as I stay faithful with my craft and continue to improve, the results will vindicate me, and it did.

You do not have to wait for someone else to trigger these emotions in you to improve and do better. You can deliberately put yourself in situations outside your comfort zone where you don’t perform well initially and then ask: “Why couldn’t I do it?! Why couldn’t I win?!” Then use that feeling of desperation to channel your success.

Sometimes all you need is a book, and a passage that encourages you to do better. Sometimes all you need is an arm around your shoulders from a friend saying: “You’re better than what and who you are, you can do better.” Sometimes all you need is a memorandum from the boss, and you WILL do better without many words.

As the famous quote says: “Dreams will get you nowhere, but a good kick in the pants will take you a long way!”

(Francis Kong’s highly acclaimed Level Up Leadership Master Class Online runs on October 13-15. For inquiries and reservations, contact April at +63928-559-1798 or and for more information, visit www.levelupleadership.ph)