Reflections of a modern Filipina mother: Why Duterte’s appeal reflects an outdated view of ‘macho’

Who among us did not grow up as a teenager, blushing when Joseph Estrada smiled his sexy grin, or hear our hearts pitter patter when we looked into Fernando Poe Jr.’s deep, soulful eyes?

The “macho” image of yesterday was still an offshoot of the hunter-gatherer male, who hunted wild game to provide sustenance and defended his family from invading tribes.  Hence, the movie industry portrayed the male hero as the gun-toting, cigarette-smoking, “me against the world” persona.  It was exciting and romantic for women. It was confidence-building for men.

But a lot has changed since then and most Filipino women today find themselves working full-time jobs or spending much of their day as busy entrepreneurs, in addition to raising their kids.  In tandem with this, many progressive men have learned to accept the bread-winning partnership that is the reality of the modern marriage.

So where does this leave the “macho” male ego? 

I believe the modern male has redefined himself much more broadly than just the guy who puts food on the table or defends his home turf.  He has found great fulfillment in assuming the important role of NURTURER; in some cases, he is the sole provider of loving and caring for his children.

When a man wakes up at night to comfort his crying baby, his wife sees SELF-SACRIFICE.  When a man makes breakfast in bed for a wife who worked all night, his wife recognizes GENEROSITY.  When a man changes his baby’s very soiled diaper, his wife witnesses COURAGE.

Because at no time has marriage been a more challenging feat of TEAMWORK.

It is no surprise then that in a workplace that has more women than ever before, the traits that make a man successful are those that allow him to be a consensus builder, a “win-win” negotiator and a strong team player.

As it is at home and in the workplace, so it is in the global economy.  The most successful leaders are those that understand they are part of the family of planet Earth.  Conflicts are not solved through violence but through DIPLOMACY, and diplomacy is much more difficult. 

True “macho-ness” then is not measured by how big your gun is, or how tough you talk, but by how well you TAKE CARE OF YOUR PEOPLE, including the lowliest of them.