How to avoid conflict in a relationship
There are times in our life wherein our patience is being tested. Here’s a story by Nelia of Living Water 2009. “She mumbles and grumbles as she hangs out the laundry. She bangs the door on her way in and out. The noise of chopping onions is a tad too loud, and the tenderized pork chops turn out flatter than usual. I am tempted to scold our helper, when I feel a tug in my heart to pray. I retire to my room, asking God to deliver her anger, ‘ In the name of Jesus, I bind and cast out the demons at work, and command them to leave my house.’ Almost immediately, I note that silence comes, and peace.
“Locking horns with an angry, irritated person is like fighting fire with fire. The better way to douse fire with water – that is, to meet a heated temper with gentleness, prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit. The Bible says the Holy Spirit is like water – cooling, refreshing, healing. If there are signs that anger, stress and irritation are present in your home or workplace, take a few minutes to pray. Douse the flaming arrows of the devil with the Holy Spirit’s gentleness and love.”
It’s not easy to control one’s temper not to retaliate with a person who can fan anger in our hearts. Whenever I am in a situation like this, I would tell myself that this person might have a bad day, or there must be someone who is ill in the family, or she might have financial problems, or other problems bothering her. I would remind myself these words from a sage, “It’s better to be kind, than to be logical. One must have to walk in her/his moccasin to be compassionate and kind.”
The wikiHow.com has this to say, “Arguing with a partner, family member, or co-worker can be a lot of things; informative, helpful, destructive, or hurtful. Most people would agree that conflict is exhausting. Here are immediate things that you can do to stop a fight from happening:
Acknowledge the other person’s concerns. If she has instigated the fight, verbalize this. For example, “I realize this issue is really important to you, “ or “I know you don’t think my idea is any good, but I do.”
If the fight starts off heated or quickly escalates, remove yourself from the situation. Tell him or her that you need a break before returning to discuss the issues.
Calmly discuss one another’s concerns. Make this conversation as emotionally stable as possible, no yelling or blaming. Instead, make your points brief and specific. It will be easier for her to respond to specific instances, than broad generalizations or accusations.
While this may be hard, limit the conflict to one or two main issues. The fight shouldn’t become a confrontation featuring every single flaw in your relationship or friendship.
Give her/ him a chance to speak. This means you should be actively listening to what she /he says.
Respond to the other person with respect. It may be helpful to take a few moments to gather your thoughts before responding. This will keep you from accidentally saying something hurtful. Remember it’s better to build bridges than walls.
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