Politically correct terms for kids

Communication today is even more difficult than it was many years ago. The terms used then were simple.--You said it as it is. Business letters were “professionally” done in a tone that is formal and business-like. Personal letters were formed with words and messages from the heart.

Today you need to be politically correct. There are sensitivities. One wrong use of words and you can be accused of “stereotyping” people or being judgmental.

The following notice was sent home to some high school students:1 “Our school’s cross-graded, multi-ethnic, individualized learning program is designed to enhance the concept of an open-ended learning program with emphasis on the continuum of multi-ethnic, academically enriched learning, using the identified intellectually gifted child as the agent of his own learning.”

One parent sent back a note which read, “I have a college degree, speak two foreign languages and four Indian dialects--but I haven’t the faintest idea what you are talking about.”

This is why I laughed when I came across this article from the website “Today’s Cleanlaugh.” It talks about “Political Correctness For Kids.” Here is the list:

Your bedroom isn’t cluttered; it’s “passage-restrictive.”

Kids don’t get in trouble anymore. They merely hit “social speed bumps.”

You’re not having a bad hair day; you’re suffering from “rebellious follicle syndrome.”

No one’s tall anymore. They’re “vertically enhanced.”

You’re not shy. You’re “conversationally selective.”

You don’t talk a lot. You’re just “abundantly verbal.”

It’s not called gossip anymore. It’s “transmission of near-factual information.”

The food at the school cafeteria isn’t awful. It’s “digestively challenged.”

Your homework isn’t missing; it’s just having an “out-of-notebook experience.”

You’re not sleeping in class; you’re “rationing consciousness.”

You don’t have smelly gym socks; you have “odor-retentive athletic footwear.”

You weren’t passing notes in class. You were “participating in the discreet exchange of penned meditations.”

You’re not being sent to the principal’s office. You’re “going on a mandatory field trip to the administrative building.”

Talk about things being complicated! In an age of relativism, being politically correct is the worst thing you can do that blurs what is right from wrong, and truth from a none-truth. (This is a politically correct term for the word “lie.”) And if upset, you become careless and blurt out the words, “The problem with you people”; I can assure you that you will be in trouble.

Here is one more material to prove the point that English is not easy after all. It talks about the simple two-letter word “UP!”

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meaning than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP.”

It’s easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we wake up in the morning, why do we wake UP?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends, and we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house, and some guys fix UP the old car.

At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

Now this UP is really confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP.

We open UP a store in the morning, but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP!

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look UP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th the page and definitions add UP to about 30.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don’t give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, it wets UP the earth. When it doesn’t rain for a while, things dry UP.

One could go on and on, but I’ll wrap it UP, for now, my time is UP, so...I’ll give UP and shut UP…!

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