Dissonance

What is DISSONANCE?

I would say that dissonance is the disparity between what one thinks as the truth and what others perceive it to be.

We act and behave a certain way in accordance to the qualities we’d like to project. But sometimes, other people see us but form an opinion about us that’s so far away from what we were trying to project. This is dissonance.

Let me give you some examples. Do prayerfully review each one, and try to see areas of life you can improve on:

1. You may consider yourself wise and helpful, but others may perceive you as too opinionated.

2. You may consider yourself passionate, but others may perceive you as simply impulsive.

3. You may consider yourself confident, but everybody in the work place may see you as just plain arrogant.

4. You may consider yourself detail-oriented, but others may perceive you as nitpicky.

5. (For the men) You may consider yourself friendly and fatherly, but all the ladies in the work place may perceive you as a “dirty old man”.

6. (For the ladies) You may consider yourself friendly and seductive, but the men may see you as flirty and cheap.

7. You may consider yourself shrewd, but others may perceive you as a cheat.

8. You may consider yourself funny and humorous, but others may perceive you as totally inappropriate.

9. You may consider yourself strong, but others may perceive you as stubborn.

10. You may consider yourself insightful and deep of a thinker, but others may perceive you as slow.

11. You may consider yourself active and energetic, but others may perceive you as hyper.

12. You may consider yourself spiritual, but others may perceive you as legalistic and self-righteous.

13. You may consider yourself fun and popular, while others may perceive you as proud and boastful, and wish you were dead!

This is dissonance. Dissonance in this way can hinder us from achieving our long-term success goals.

So how can we know how other people perceive us?

It’s both very easy and extremely hard to do – consult the experts. Consult your family, relatives and friends – they are your experts. Get the people closest to you at home, in the work place, as well as in the industry, and let them tell you how they perceive you and what areas you can improve on.

The truth is always painful to accept. But this discomfort is the area of self-improvement. I have tons of fault in this area, but I’m working hard to improve on it. Address the dissonance. But remember: Always please God, not men. Be humble at all times. Live life with the mission to serve. There can be no dissonance here, I can assure you.

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