Takano’s complaint was not a faux pas

Japanese Ambassador Kohito Takano’s sleepless in Manila complaint is far from being an unpremeditated outburst of a diplomat. If he were a European or even an American, maybe it is possible that he felt just too comfortably at home to make that kind of public complaint. But the Japanese are very courteous people and more so Japanese diplomats.

I think Takano had clearance from the Japanese foreign ministry. Some one who looks that old and experienced wouldn’t risk a major diplomatic faux pas. This must have something to do with Ate Glo’s Tokyo visit. They are sending us a message that they are unhappy and if we know what is good for us, we would moderate our demands for additional aid and investments until such time as we have proven ourselves worthy.

But Takano is not the only one complaining. The American Chamber of Commerce is apparently also unhappy. The Americans produced a paper entitled "The Roadmap to More Foreign Investments," based on two surveys conducted by the Gallup organization in May last year and the AMCHAM survey done in October among executives of American corporations in the Philippines.

The paper stressed the need to improve governance, accelerate legal reform, modernize power and transport infrastructure, improve security, slow down population growth and reverse the deterioration of English skills of workers. None of these things is new and the Arroyo administration has made noises about doing something about them. AMCHAM treasurer John Forbes cited the slow pace of legislative reform over the past few years.

"We are completely confident that once the Philippines makes progress in the six areas of reforms, more foreign investments will come in. But if things stay the way they are, then foreign investors would relocate," Forbes told reporters last Tuesday.

The Japanese Chamber of Commerce and Industry said just about the same thing even before their Ambassador took the cudgels for them. Like the Americans, they also issued a similar paper expressing concern about poor infrastructure and labor and security problems that hamper foreign-assisted economic projects in the Philippines.

The lack of predictability in policies is a key complaint. I understand the Japanese are particularly peeved by the shift in government’s policies towards the automotive industry. The shift in tax rules that will adversely affect the AUVs, a market the Japanese automakers developed from scratch and nurtured all these years, are difficult to defend.

The only reasonable reaction I have heard so far comes from Senate President Franklin Drilon. "Instead of dismissing these observations outright as unwarranted foreign intervention, we should look at them and analyze them closely, to see if they are based on facts. Once recognizing them as well-intentioned and well-grounded, our government should act forcefully to remedy the situation."

Lucky for us the foreign chambers are bold enough to complain. The local chambers are too tuta for their own good. They just have a revolving chair system of sharing leadership of the local chambers and all we can expect from them is sheepish loyalty to the administration in power.

I guess that’s just being practical and a matter of self-preservation. Still, the locals have also pointed out their concerns that the problems of peace and order, corruption, bureaucratic ineptness, a runaway population growth and unsound business and economic policies have strongly hampered economic growth and progress. Numerous summits have been held to address these problems but in hindsight, the talkfests produced nothing worthwhile.

Frank Drilon is right. "We should not be overly sensitive to foreign observations about our own country because we might learn from them."

The grapevine

Beware! Those society page photo spreads can be dangerous to your job. A French expat executive in a major European multinational found this out the hard way. He, or rather, a normally hidden portion of his anatomy saw print, pixilated of course. But that was enough for a fuss to be raised all the way to head office in Europe.

This rather attractive daughter of a newspaper publisher, who dabbles as a society columnist, featured a romantic beach wedding in her family’s broadsheet. Seems like the French wine that flowed in the reception that followed got three Frenchmen to be more daring than is considered normal in these islands. They took a dare to drop their shorts and expose their butts with cameras clicking madly. I think the photo spread was entitled "those wild Frenchmen!"

The French expat executive must have thought that he was in good company. One of the other Frenchmen who mooned with him is the son of the senior adviser of French President Jacques Chirac. And you know how it is when you are out of town, in a beach, a happy occasion like a wedding reception… inhibitions are washed away with the surf.

The local executives of the multinational firm were not amused at all. Those humorless stuff shirts were immediately concerned about corporate image, something they have nurtured all these years. Their business requires them to be seen as wholesome as… mother’s milk. They wanted the French exec to resign or be fired, even if he was not identified as connected with the company. They are probably worried at what outrageous thing he would do next to shock the natives.

So the case was brought all the way up and luckily for the Frenchman, head office had a better sense of humor. He keeps his job and was probably made to promise to keep his shorts on when in public. They might have been assured that the French trio did what they did out of a sense of patriotism, for the greater glory of old Europe. They might have been told that the mooners screamed something unmentionable to George Bush while pointing at their exposed butts, followed by vigorous shouts of Vive la France!

Like some local bomba movies, there was redeeming social value naman pala, so long as your heart is with old Europe or you are royally pissed with the Texan in the White House.

Hate your job?

Speaking of butts, my daughter Trishy e-mailed me this one from California.

When you have had an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and buy a rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and lie down on your bed.

Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on the bedside table so that it will not become chipped or broken. Take out the literature and read it carefully. You will notice that in small print there is a statement, "Every rectal thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson is personally tested".

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times: "I am so glad I do not work for quality control at Johnson and Johnson."

Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone else with a job that deals with an asshole day in and day out!

Boo Chanco’s e-mail address is [email protected]