Losing someone
My visits to Bohol were frequent because of work, but over the weekend I took a trip on a personal note. I was with my friends on the way to Trinidad town where the wake of another friend’s father was held. It was a bumpy ride in that fastcraft. I didn’t want to face the truth that my childhood uncle was gone too soon. He was a few years older than my dad but both shared the same visions, more or less, for our subdivision. He had dreams and plans for our community, and even ran to become a barangay councilor but lost to others.
My friend didn’t move a muscle when we arrived. I guess it was shock that placed her through that. We extended our arms and hugged her tight. The rest that happened that night was history - we were laughing, eating, going around the lonely municipality and talking until dawn. It was our own way of saying that things will be alright. When we left, we made sure we were here for her no matter what. The interment is set for the next weekend. That meant more days to lament over the loss.
In that span of hours, I realized how costly it is to die. The grieving family carries the burden of having to pay for religious people to pray over every night plus the cost of having to serve food to those who shared their grief. A dinner is supposedly prepared for special guests and the routine goes on for another week. It will be helpful if some people drop money into what is called the “abuloy” box. But if it isn’t enough to make ends meet, then the wake should be as simple as it could be. Then again it is still costly.
How hard is it to lose someone? I’d simply say very much. When somebody has become a part of you for so long, suddenly it changes. There is no longer that touch and presence that once filled the room. Each of us has our own way of coping with a loss. Others choose to bring it all out in tears, while others choose to be silent and distract themselves with whatever the heart could handle. But in the end it is all part of life; we are born to die with a mission.
I have to admit that losing Marga, the dog mentioned in my previous post, made me a bit down, and also losing my friend’s dad somehow dragged down the energy. The question now that everyone has to ask is how much time do I have left? Yes, the concept of “you can only live once” (YOLO) may be fascinating but we must think twice if the time we spent was worth it. Time is the only element that we cannot have back. If we were paid every time we wasted an hour, we’d be millionaires by now. We should realign our priorities in life.
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