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Pure genius

ARE WE THERE YET - Back Seat Driver (The Freeman) - April 17, 2016 - 10:00am

Let me begin by saying that I was never asked or mandated to do what I am about to do.  But let me send out an apology to the public works department for questioning and comparing their intellect to that of plankton.  This realization hit me as I was stuck in traffic last week.  Remember that time when everyone coming from Diaper Island got stranded for hours due to the consistent ineptitude of the Kapitolyo City’s traffic management team?  I was one of those motorists whose eyes kept darting from road, clock, fuel, and temperature gauge every so often.

It was on every occasion that my eyes got to glance at the ongoing roadworks that the public works department’s genius hit me.  Staring at the newly laid surface, I realized that the height of the road is higher than the recently improved sidewalk.  Now, we all know that the sidewalk should be higher than the road.  So what does that mean?  It means drawing up plans for the “much needed” renovation of the sidewalk in order to meet current road safety standards.  Once the plans and cost are drawn up, these will then be presented to the national government for approval.  And as predictable as the mating season of dogs is, the budget would be approved and released on an election year.

It doesn’t stop there though.  As my jalopy was crawling through the road repair site, I noticed the mounds of dirt and garbage that were being swept off to the side, with a fairly huge amount being swept down the recently improved drainage system.  The dirt and garbage of this project, coupled by the future dirt and garbage that will be swept into the drainage system by the sidewalk improvement project will cause the existing drainage system to be unable to do its function efficiently.  And we all know what this would lead to: another drainage renovation project.  Another project whose approval and budget would be given on an election year.

Now, guess what will happen when they do the drainage improvement project?  They’ll rip out large chunks of recently repaired roads to install culverts that are practically the same size as the previous ones.  But since everybody’s too absorbed in the act of trying to get out of the traffic jam that this project is creating, this will go unnoticed.  So after the drainage improvement project is done, guess what’s going to happen next?  You guessed it, road repair and improvement.

So you see, the public works department has figured out how to make their department look efficient and useful by creating the need for cyclic projects that will go on until we invent flying cars.  A government department that I initially thought was the cesspool of incompetence, has actually outsmarted all of us and has assured themselves of continuous projects.  Continuous projects will mean that, if the rumors are to be believed, people in lofty places will allegedly be assured of getting their constant and fair share of the development fund.  Pure genius!

backseatdriver_ph@yahoo.com.

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