The mother of all friendships

On her own she was a celebrity of sorts. She was the mother of a popular broadcaster but when she died, Bessie Bautista Legarda was a star in her own right. From her heart came her drawing power. Her wake at the Santuario de San Antonio six years ago was abloom with friends of all political colors and social shapes and sizes. You knew they were there for her, for what she was to them.

Yesterday was the sixth death anniversary of the beautiful and vibrant Bessie, who died two years before her only daughter Loren Legarda-Leviste became the youngest Filipina to be elected senator. She did not live to see Loren top the senatorial polls or see her conduct herself so impressively during the impeachment trial of President Joseph Estrada. Or see her sons Gary and AA become such fine young men.

When Bessie died, she did not only leave Loren her values, she also left Loren her friends.

"I inherited all her friends!" agrees Loren. We had a short chat on the death anniversary of her mother, who I would run into in parties and who became my friend and phone pal even if I was young enough to be her daughter.

When Bessie died, her friends, mostly from the civic-religious group Martha’s Vineyard, bonded to try to fill in the shoes she left behind. When Loren ran for senator, they thought of how Bessie would have supported her and tried to do the same.

"She really looks up to us na parang substitute ng mommy niya. Noong nawala ang mommy niya, inalagaan pa rin niya ang friends ng mommy niya. She kept in touch. So we naman, we consider her really as our own daughter. And we were honored that she continues to make us a part of her life," says Maritess Mendoza Pineda, one of Bessie’s dearest friends.

It was to Maritess that, 10 days before her death, Bessie left her bilins.

"It was the last dinner given by Loren for Bessie. Ayos na ayos siya. She was in yellow and she wore the pearls given to her by Loren. But she was very weak, and before the dinner was over she asked to be excused. In her room, she told me, ‘Gusto ko, sa wake ko, maraming flowers. I want to be cremated. And I want you to display our lovely photos in Spain’," Maritess quotes Bessie as having told her. Bessie and Maritess with their spouses Tony and Susing went to Spain two months before and they had a wonderful time.

When Bessie died, the friendship between her daughter and her (Bessie’s) friends at Martha’s deepened. None of them is remotely connected to politics and hardly anyone of them is seen in the papers.

One of Bessie’s friends Violet de Borja heads the Libro ni Loren Foundation, which now has 24 scholars in its fold. Violet once saw a poor boy, Joseph Bosito, panning for gold nuggets in Paracale, Camarines Norte and decided to send him to school. On Bessie’s first death anniversary, Violet and Bessie’s other friends decided to establish scholarships for child laborers and in 1998, the Libro ni Loren Foundation was born.

"My mother left me with a very good education and I wanted to help others have a good education too," says Loren. Her mother’s friends took care of all the nitty gritty for the foundation.

Maritess Pineda is vice president of the foundation and a member of its board of trustees. She is also with Luntiang Pilipinas, which Loren set up to help green the countryside. Maritess tells us that on her own, Loren has her own scholars, including Diwata de Castro Paredes, a talented UP student now working for her at the Senate.

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Bessie and Maritess’ friendship dates back to the ‘70s when they were both with the group "Friends of Manansala." Maritess misses Bessie’s warmth and cheerful personality and notices that as time goes by, Loren is becoming more and more like her late mother.

"Mahilig na siyang mag-ayos ngayon. Bessie would never be caught without a compact mirror in her bag, for instance. Pareho silang hyper. Tuloy tuloy magtrabaho. They are the type to initiate things, and stand for what they believe in," points out Maritess. Bessie graduated magna cum laude from the Assumption Convent while Loren graduated cum laude from the University of the Philippines. Bessie, whose father was veteran journalist Joe Bautista, was also a good writer.

Loren admits that yes, she pays more attention to her looks nowadays. She recently decided to lose weight and shed 10 pounds by exercising 30 minutes a day on the treadmill and by decreasing her food intake.

Loren is grateful that her mother’s friends have stayed around to be a source of strength for her.

It’s a friendship made in heaven.