Coping With Two

What should mothers and fathers for the second time expect when a new baby is due to come along in the next few months? The next question is, how will your firstborn cope?

First and foremost, it is such a joy to be expecting another baby again! Just like a cycle, but with the exception of morning (or all-day) sickness, it is a wonderful feeling to go through the same changes again.

Now is the perfect time to help the older sibling adjust by preparing him/her for another baby. Teaching the older child what to expect and giving time to adjust will be so much easier for every parent when the new one arrives. It's just a matter of working things out between you and your partner in the best possible way. Just remember that giving your firstborn a sibling (as I have been told) is the greatest gift you can give a child.

Let your child know that he/she is expecting a sibling, and it is very important that he/she hears it first from you and not from people around. This is to avoid a little bit of shock and possibly jealousy. You might want to let your child rub your tummy or have him/her give your tummy a kiss to make the experience a little more real. My son at one point even put a small toy on top of my tummy and said it was "for baby".

You might also want to take your child with you to prenatal visits so your little one sort of has "an idea" on what he/she sees. Yes, expect a lot of questions but they're all for the best. Don't expect your child (if younger than 5) to understand everything he/she sees, but it is important that your firstborn has the slightest idea to make him/her feel wanted.

A lot of explaining will help your child so ensure to explain that when the new baby enters the world, the new little one will not instantly be a playmate. All a new baby will do is sleep, eat and poop. Best to give your firstborn some responsibilities to make him/her feel special. But as replayed to me, this comes ever so naturally. The first step will always be how to share toys.

Now is the time to start pulling out photos and other memoirs of when your firstborn was a baby. Tell him/her how excited mommy and daddy were when we first met you. Share some nice and funny stories, as this is usually intriguing for most children under 5 years old. You can even use a doll to portray a baby, it might help.

Now let's decide. Should your firstborn be present for the birth of your second child? If given the possibility, I would definitely say yes!