Toxic beliefs that hinder success

- Francis J. Kong (The Philippine Star) - December 14, 2014 - 12:00am

Have you ever wondered why some people seem to know how to get ahead in their career path, while others are stuck?

Ask those who are successful and they will answer the two most quoted words even millionaires and billionaires say: hard work. Well, this is strange because most people I know work hard yet some people got the promotion faster. Maybe it’s not just the hard work, it may involve something else.

Hard work involves energy. There is energy exerted towards activities that increase the value and equity of the person. Also, there is energy wasted on things and activities that don’t contribute to one’s success goals in life, these are called sideways energy. Hard work is not enough because work is simply an outcome of the thinking process. As I constantly say in my trainings and seminars, “Wrong thinking equals wrong living.”

“For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. …” As the scriptures in the wisdom book called Proverbs say.

There are toxic beliefs that have poisoned people and lulled them into a state of wasteful living. These beliefs should be revealed, addressed and hopefully, altered into productive thoughts that would lead to productive work and living.

Here are some of the toxic beliefs. Go through each one and honestly evaluate whether you entertain them. If you do, get rid of them and experience new thinking that could lead to improved living:

1. Some people are just lucky and I’m not one of them.

The superstitious among them rely on luck and think “lady luck” visits others and not them. The religious among them claim “it’s not God’s will for me to be successful...” Now, would this be a logical conclusion to the notion that those who got the promotion faster are within the will of God? These beliefs tend to make people passive, as they have to wait for “luck” to change. Meanwhile, others take the initiative to make things happen. They work harder and become luckier.

2. I have messed up in the past and destroyed all possibilities for future promotions.

Everybody experiences setbacks. No one is spared from committing mistakes.  This kind of mindset has caused people to become discouraged and dispirited. And so they tend to play safe; fit in, merely comply and avoid taking risks. While others are actively creating possibilities, these people still have their eyes glued to the rear view mirror and wonder why they are not moving forward.

3. There are people here who do not believe I can handle bigger responsibilities.

Guessing. Yes, this is what these people do. They define themselves based on suspicions that their bosses, their co-workers and even friends and family do not believe them to be capable. This is the same as having self-worth based on the approval of others. And because these people assume that others think poorly of them, they behave accordingly. They lack the confidence to take the initiative to be successful. These self-fulfilling prophecies are extremely damaging for one’s career or business.

4. I need to set extremely high goals in order to surpass others so I can be successful.

This toxic belief is massively rampant. “I need to get everything right and I need to accomplish great tasks in order to be successful.” Setting unrealistic goals will push the person to greater levels of disappointment. I have never met a happy perfectionist and you won’t as well.

5. I constantly feel that I am not achieving any level of success.

These people live and decide things based on what they feel and not on reality. A person’s feeling is the most unreliable base for decision-making. Rational thinking and honest assessment of facts and figures should be the basis for right decision making. ‘Feelings’ are not accurate indications of current realities.

These are just some of the toxic beliefs that need to be addressed and altered to prevent sideways energy and direct it towards productive endeavors that will lead to progress and success.

When actions are based on truth and reality, right thinking equals right living.

(Start the New Year right with Francis Kong learning leadership and life skills as he present Level Up Leadership on January 21-22 at EDSA Shangri-La Hotel. For further inquiries, contact Inspire at 09158055910 or call 632-6310912 for details.)

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