#DearTitaWitty: Disappearing Act
Dear Tita Witty,
I’ve been exclusively dating this guy for two or three months and he makes me feel that he’s interested in me. We’ve spent hours talking to each other about our passions in life, our dreams, aspirations, likes, dislikes and whatnot. He has expressed how he loves my glowing eyes and he tells me when he wants to see me so badly. We’ve held hands and cuddled like a real-life couple during movie dates. He also made plans to visit places we’ve never been to, such as museums (para cultured). He has even asked me to be his food connoisseur and try different cuisines.
And then suddenly, he just didn’t talk to me. To think he was the one who initiated those things. We were even laughing about a joke I told him during our last text conversation. Worst part is, he scheduled a “city date,” then ended up ditching me. No text, PM or call to cancel. I didn’t even bother to contact him after that. I’m confused because at this point I don’t really hate him, but I abhor what he did. I guess I really liked him that much. He made me feel things that I didn’t know I was capable of feeling. I have this attitude of being passive, chill, not giving a f*** about anything or anyone but with him, I felt excited, happy, giddy and at the same time worried. I was afraid that he might go away, and he unexpectedly did.
I really thought we were leaning towards something. I actually thought that I might be special to him — but, no. He was the first guy I dated after my recent five-year relationship and this happened. I was even more devastated by this than my last relationship, which is weird.
My question is, why? Without having sexual intentions, why make the effort of making promises or plans if you’re just going to disappear? Kasalanan ko ba na umasa ako o kasalanan niya kasi paasa siya? I just wish he told me why. Should I try to reach out?
Men, pshhhh.
xoxo,
Ms. Lovesick
Dear Ms. Lovesick,
This is an all-too-common story. Ang sad, ‘no? Pero ganun talaga — sadyang maraming nag-aakala na ganun sila ka-hot at kagwapo that they can get away with being jerks.
Here are a few possibilities on why he did what he did:
1. An ex-girlfriend suddenly showed up.
2. He liked you, but he met someone he really, really, really liked.
3. He has recurring amnesia. Pang three months lang.
4. He had an accident that literally crippled him, thus, he couldn’t show up at your date. Maybe his fingers were crushed he couldn’t even contact you. And so now, he’s so ashamed to let you know of his disability. And then one day, someone will buy a painting of yours, someone in a wheelchair… and then you will realize it’s from a classic movie and that you’re not even a painter.
5. He’s just an a-hole who was not taught that you don’t treat people like that.
It’s not weird you were more devastated by this than your last relationship. You were hoping this would turn out to be different, that it would have the ending you’ve always wanted. A rebound, perhaps.
Sure, you may reach out. I understand you have this nagging feeling that you need to hear an explanation. However, be prepared not to like what he’s going to say. I’m pretty sure it will be just a lame excuse that sounds something like “Hindi naman tayo so there’s nothing to break.” Or, “Well, I didn’t hear from you either so I thought ayaw mo na. Ayoko naman pagpilitan sarili ko sa taong ayaw sa’kin.” Tapos wow, feeling mo ang haba ng buhok mo, ‘di mo napansin nabaligtad na niya ang kwento or worse, kwento na pala ng John Lloyd movie ‘yun at ‘yung least favorite mo pa. My gosh, the nerve!
No, I don’t think it’s your fault na umasa ka. I think it only requires decency to let people close to you know that you’re going to disappear from their lives. And you deserve to be treated decently, don’t you think?
Makipag-date ka na sa iba, girl. Sayang oras!
xoxo,
Tita Witty
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Send in your tatanga-tanga sa pag-ibig questions to deartitawitty@gmail.com or to facebook.com/wittywillsavetheworld.
