Battling setbacks & depressing situations with optimism

We all go through setbacks and depressing situations in our personal and professional lives that put us, our family, friends, jobs and businesses in jeopardy. Take the recent Marawi conflict where hundreds have been killed after a month of fighting. Military troops pounding terrorists with air strikes and artillery; fires erupting and dark plumes of smoke rising from enemies’ enclaves; women, children and soldiers undergoing persistent psychological stress that depletes hope for peace, hampering the will to move on.

Adding to your stress are mounting stories of crimes, nonstop political bickering that get more heated by the day, the unsolved traffic mess, potholes, detours and roadblocks, poverty, inefficiencies in government and deteriorating family relationships. These are just a few of the things that make you feel bad and drain your optimism.

But, as author Price Pritchett said in his book, Hard Optimism, “You shouldn’t allow pessimism to get the better of you.” There are still many things to be thankful for. Pritchett connects us to hopefulness as he presents guidelines on how to manage our minds. Pritchett brings science to the whole concept of optimism using a research-based set of mental practices from a new field of behavioral science called “positive psychology.”

• Optimism is a huge asset that can be learned. “The mind is everything. It’s all about the mind,” said Donald Trump. And with practice you can develop it, much like any other skill. As such, optimists get paid more, are healthier, win more competitions, live longer and are better at dealing with doubt and change.

• Regardless of how life treats you, optimism is the psychological trump card that helps you win. “Attitudes are more important than facts,” Dr. Karl Menninger stated.  You can’t always have power over what the world brings your way, but you’re free to direct your ideas and dispositions. This gives you the opportunity to rise above trials and tribulations. You live with a shifting assortment of experiences, things that run from good to bad to uncertain.

• Instead of getting swamped in the marshland, optimists march forward. Richard Back declared, “What the caterpillar calls a tragedy, the master calls a butterfly. That’s the power of a positive perspective in play, and you’re urged to develop, and adapt to the descriptive fashion of optimists, who view bad events as transitory occurrences that are sure to be trailed by better times.”

• People today are 10 times as likely to suffer from depression as those born two generations ago. The World Health Organization (WHO) pronounced that depression is, at present, the world’s fourth most debilitating condition behind heart disease, cancer, and traffic accidents. It is predicted to become the second most debilitating condition worldwide by the year 2020. Dwelling on the negative simply contributes to its power. Pessimism can only survive on a diet of unhappy and unenthusiastic thoughts.

• When slapped with the urge to gripe or complain, put it on hold until you’ve scanned for a “good news” side to your situation.  Kurt Vonnegut enthused, “The door to hell is locked from the inside. Don’t allow the 4 Cs of pessimism — concern, complaining, commiserating or criticizing — to creep up on you. If you have concerns, change your inner voice from “problem talk” to “solution talk.”

• No sense in being pessimistic. It won’t work anyway.  These wise words come from a bumper sticker. Adversity is part of life. When it hits, your innate response is to focus on the 3 Ds: danger, difficulty and the downside. Use positive reappraisal to handle problems and disappointments. With it, you are able to create space for optimism and nurture hope, as you become more resilient and less vulnerable to the cruel realities of the moment.

• Hope springs eternal, but you cannot count on it to just happen.  Dr. Charles R. Snyder declared, “Hope helps move you in the direction of your goals and ambitions. It pushes you to make hope a habit. Practice it like a professional athlete would, armed with a relentless discipline and a fierce determination to improve.”

• Pessimism helps you see things more accurately. “Defensive pessimism channels the anxiety into troubleshooting efforts,” Dr. Julie Norem proclaimed. “It involves a three-step process: setting low expectations, presuming things might turn out poorly, reviewing worst-case scenarios, and mentally rehearsing how to handle the problems.”

• You can choose to occupy your mind with anger, or you can forgive other people, situations, and even yourself. You can empty your mind of these emotional poisons with a grateful attention to things. “It is astonishing how short a time it takes for very wonderful things to happen,” Frances Hodgson Burnett averred. Life always gives you a choice. You can focus on what’s wrong or what’s right. Practice gratitude and forgiveness, and optimism will follow.

• Anything you’re good at contributes to happiness. This Bertrand Russell principle tries to shape your work such that every day brings out your best potential. You’ll get a lot more benefits out of recognizing and utilizing strengths than you can from trying to overcome weaknesses.

• When you lose yourself in what you’re doing, negative thinking disappears. Pessimism gets crowded out because you’re mentally consumed with what you are happily doing. As Dr. Richard Keepe advises, “Now … here … this.” You can use this three-word sequence to help you calm yourself, to concentrate and bring everything within your being to bear on the task at hand.

• Optimism is the attitude of champions. Julia Cameron claimed, “You can’t change history but you can change your thinking. Behave the way you want to feel, and your overall experience gravitates toward alignment with your visible actions. You become what you pretend to be. It is not becoming a fake. It means taking care of yourself.”

Life is an unending journey of hurdles but fruitful completions as well. You get better and better as you fail, rise up from failure, learn from it, pick up the broken pieces, succeed, and succeed some more. You’ve had moments of tears and joy, triumphs and defeats, but no one can rob you of the free will to avoid sadness, dread and negativity, and lead your life to happiness, passion, and hard optimism.

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Email bong.osorio@gmail.com  for comments, questions or suggestions. Thank you for communicating.