Courage springs from childhood
The first Filipino Nobel Peace Prize laureate Maria Ressa learned courage to fight for her convictions not just in University, nor even just on the job.
She learned it in childhood, while in grade school in the Philippines, and later, in the United States, where she had joined her mother, a widow who had remarried an Italian-American, to start a new life.
But while she struggled to find her place in the sun in her new school where the children did not look or speak the way she did, she found out she had a classmate struggling far more than she was.
Ressa, who is one of the founders of Rappler, recalls in her book, How to Stand Up to a Dictator: The Fight for Our Future, that before she walked the corridors of power, she first walked the corridor of choice: to either help a classmate who was being bullied, or to go with the flow and remain popular with the “in” crowd bullying the classmate.
Now, how many times in our lives have we faced that choice, and capitulated? We all like to be accepted, to be popular and to belong. Sometimes, we do it to survive the politics that exist even among children.
Today, Maria has a phrase for this situation: silence is complicity.
“I played the violin and Debbie played the viola, and one day after one school music rehearsal I saw Debbie crying in a corner of the orchestra room,” recalls Maria in her book. “My instinct was to walk away because if I stopped to ask her what was wrong, people might notice, making me a target, too. No one spoke to Debbie except to make fun of her. Then I remembered the Bible’s Golden Rule: ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’,” Maria, who was recently acquitted of tax evasion charges that could have made her languish in jail, wrote.
“I made a decision. I walked out of the rehearsal room into the bathroom across the hall, got a tissue, brought it to Debbie, and asked her what was wrong. She told me that her father had been in the hospital for months.”
“Talking to her gave me the courage to keep talking to her.”
Courage breeds courage — even in oneself.
“Well, after that, I started standing up for Debbie,” recounts Maria. “Once, when her worst bully was picking on her in orchestra, I told him to stop. Right when I thought he would turn on me, some of my friends jumped in to help. All it takes is one person to stand up and fight because a bully doesn’t like to be challenged publicly.
“That was an early lesson in pushing back against the cruelty of the herd mentality. Here’s what I learned about popularity: people like you if you give them what they want. The question is: Is it what you want?
Maria did try to belong.
“When the world became overwhelming, I channeled my energies into hours of practicing the piano.
“But of course, I also wanted to be like everyone else. I would stand in front of the mirror, trying to pronounce English words properly, wishing I had lighter skin and blond hair. When you don’t know who you are and your world has been turned upside down, you don’t want to stand out.
“Three lessons have stayed with me from that year I moved to the United States. They have come up again and again in my life even as the context shifts. Each time, the lessons gain new meaning. The first was always to make the choice to learn.”
So, how do you stand up to a dictator, she asks at the end of the book. Her answer is lengthy, but let me quote the part that goes full circle to her childhood.
“By embracing values, defined early — they’re the subtitles of the chapters you’ve read: honesty, vulnerability, empathy, moving away from emotions, embracing your fear, believing in the good. You can’t do it alone. You have to create a team, strengthen your area of influence. Then connect the bright spots and weave a mesh together.
“Avoid thinking in terms of ‘us against them.’ Stand in someone else’s shoes. And do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
“When you think of a superhero, you may not imagine a five-foot-two-inch woman with a pen in her hand,” is how international human rights lawyer Amal Clooney (who happens to be George’s wife) describes Maria.
But for her all historic accomplishments, her courageous initiatives and her fight for the truth, what stands out in my mind after reading the book How to Stand Up to a Dictator: The Fight for Our Future was the chapter where it all began — the day Maria gave a piece of tissue to Debbie, the day she gave her own self the power to be her true self.
So next time your daughter or granddaughter confides to you that someone is bullying a girl in school, tell her to be kind to the bullied girl — who knows, she might also win the Nobel one day.
After all, it all begins in childhood.
30-year hospitality veteran is Conrad’s new GM
Conrad Manila has a new captain. It welcomes the New Year with well-curated touches of luxury, inspired stays, and culinary offers, led by general manager Fabio Berto. Since Sept. 2022, Berto has been overseeing the day-to-day operations of the 347-room luxury hotel strategically located in the heart of the bustling Mall of Asia Complex adjacent the Manila Bay.
“We are excited to welcome the New Year with Fabio Berto as general manager and look forward to him building on the strong foundation we have at Conrad Manila. His valuable leadership adds to the property and upholds our commitment in providing our guests with intuitive service and infinite connections in a world of style,” said Jamie Mead, senior director, operations, Southeast Asia.
With more than 30 years of experience in the hospitality industry, Berto began his career as an F&B commis de rang in Switzerland, which was soon followed by continued advancements in both hotel role and responsibility across several luxury properties in France and London. Berto soon joined Hilton London Metropole in 2003 as its director of sales before moving on to Hilton West London Cluster, Rome Cavalieri Waldorf Astoria, and Waldorf Astoria Shanghai on the Bund as a commercial director. Prior to his latest appointment, Berto served as the general manager of Hilton Niseko Village in Japan.
“I am delighted to welcome our guests this New Year and continue in providing them with heartfelt hospitality, well-curated culinary adventures, and industry-leading innovations,” says Berto. *
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