Saving families through faith & art

Life is good when you know that when the going gets rough, there will be those who will toss you a lifesaver. It is added comfort when those who pluck you out of the rough seas lead you to calm waters as well.

This is the goal of the psycho-spiritual approach — to fortify you with faith as well as with therapy. Psycho-spiritual counselors arguably make for the best lifeguards in the ocean of life.

At the Ateneo de Manila University is a spiritual spa called Center for Family Ministries (CEFAM), where those with aching hearts, weary souls and broken relationships find rejuvenation.

Founded by Fr. Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J. in 1987, its mission is “to aid in the promotion and enrichment of the Filipino family as a ‘domestic church,’ a community of love justice, freedom and peace, both within the home and in its social role and responsibility to the nation and to the world.”

The center has had an increasing number of graduates, from three to over 600. Imagine the many lifelines these 600 have flung to people struggling to keep afloat in stormy seas!

So what is the difference between CEFAM-centered counseling and other forms of counseling and intervention?

Leni Sanchez, a school teacher who trained further in family counseling at CEFAM, says, “The difference is that in CEFAM, the approach is psycho-spiritual. There’s always an integration of (both approaches) in the end. You’ll always go back to the Gospel. Your reference, your basis for the counseling is always the Gospel. Psychology is not the only therapeutic approach, it’s also the spiritual aspect and it’s centered on the family always.”

“According to Father Tanseco, our psyche or the psychological being is directly aligned with our spirituality. It means we cannot receive any spiritual benefits unless we are psychologically well. They should always go together. Spirituality is something very much directly involved in the psyche of the person,” adds Leni.

Leni has seen much fulfillment in helping keep others afloat with a lifeline buoyed by the Gospel. Counseling, she believes, “is my stairway to heaven.”

Leni and fellow CEFAM graduate Marides Almendras are the pillars of the CEFAM Alumni Association Inc. (CAAI). Founded in November 2011 with Marides at the helm, CAAI aims to support CEFAM’s mission of empowering the Filipino family.

Marides joined CEFAM because she felt that there was something lacking in her life, even if it was near perfect.

“I went because I was searching. Searching for something, something I did not know yet. There was something lacking in my life. I was with a religious community, BCBP (Brotherhood of Christian Businessmen and Professionals) and we have our members, we have our groups and we give advice. Sa tingin ko, magaling naman ako doon, but still it was not enough. I had this question: What is it that I really wanted to do? I’m happy but still, parang kulang pa. My kids are there, my kids are fine, I’m OK, I’m happy, my husband’s OK. What is it that I really wanted to do in my life?”

Like Leni, who found her stairway to heaven in CEFAM, Marides found her bridge to a more meaningful life with CEFAM.

“You learn more about yourself,” says Marides, wife to Cabinet Secretary Rene Almendras and mother of two. “You get really connected with yourself and you understand yourself better.”

Marides found out at CEFAM that when you understand yourself better, you are able to “understand people better.”

“You know yourself, you can relate and you can process. That’s the whole thing, the processing of your self and you’re trying to process people also,” she shares.

Unlike Leni who is a counselor, Marides didn’t go into professional counseling.

“After I took the course, sabi ko, hindi ko kakayanin na mag-counsel ako kasi baka pagalitan ko sila,” she laughs. She applies what she learned in her daily life as a wife and mother. Marides also runs a pre-school.

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Leni and Marides along with other CEFAM alumni are spearheading an art exhibit at the Yuchengco Museum at the RCBC Tower on Ayala Ave. on Nov. 13. Dubbed Sketches of the Spirit, the exhibit aims to raise funds for renovation of the aging CEFAM building at the Ateneo and to support the alumni’s further training.

“Our direction actually is for the alumni, for their professional-personal development,” says Marides.

Participating artists include Nunelucio Alvarado, Renz Baluyot, Hans Brumann, Benjie Cabangis, Alfredo Esquillo, Alee Garibay, Vivian Go, Pete Jimenez, Loi Lopez, Richard Montero, Jerry Elizalde Navarro, Jonathan Olazo, Grace Olores, Evangeline Pascual, Edu Perreras, Jemina Reyes, Frederick Sausa, Alan SyCip, Edwin Wilwayco and Armi Yam.

The exhibit runs from Nov. 13 to Dec. 1. On Nov. 14, there will be a healing workshop on “Wellness through Art, Dance, Meditation.” (For inquiries, call Elyn at 0917-5274898.)

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CEFAM head Fr. James Gascon, S.J. has called for an expanded base of family counselors.

“We want to support CEFAM in this dream of Fr. James Gascon. His dream is to have a network, wherein we will have satellite centers for CEFAM. Right now we only have in Ateneo and one in Don Bosco in Makati. People from Cebu and Bulacan find it hard to go all the way there,” points out Marides.

Counselors at CEFAM are paid a token fee, but they do it for the love of God, country and family.

“CEFAM is about focusing on family; it’s a center for the family ministry. We cannot really aim for the healing of millions of families, but if we can at least make a difference in one family, I think that could be a big contribution to nation-building. On my part, if I could do that, I could die tomorrow!” concludes Leni.

Hope you live forever, Leni. Every lifeline tossed to a family in distress can save the entire ship!

(For more information, call Center for Family Ministries at 426-4289 to 92.) (You may e-mail me at [email protected].)