On the obsession with being nice

MANILA, Philippines - For the most part, I’ve given up watching local showbiz news. It’s not because I don’t enjoy juicy, pop culture drivel. I do. But at some point, I figured out that I could predict exactly how it was going to pan out. The show would come out with a heavy and foreboding teaser, promising something utterly scandalous. And when the real story played out, in stark contrast with the teaser (and with the word interesting), the artistas involved would give all the right, safe answers. They’re friends. “It’s all okay.” “I highly respect him.” “I’ve moved on.” “I always pray to God.” “I’m so grateful…” You get the picture. I invite you to try it out sometime, if you haven’t already. When a question is asked of an artista, imagine what the “good, mature, nice” answer would be. Nine times out of 10 that’s exactly the answer you’ll get. And why watch something you can guess all the answers to?

In another instance, I was watching a late night show where the latest crop of teenage actresses was tasked to “act” by throwing bitchy comments at another guest. After doing so, they were full of soothing, apologetic disclaimers. “Uy, it’s just acting, ha. It’s not real. We love you.” I sat there sighing, “Girl, just break the plate. It’s fine.” Granted that more mature actors wouldn’t have been as self-conscious, but they’re usually just as clean, just as safe. There are those who are known to deviate from that, and they’re usually kept around to be the circus freaks, or that rouge girl at the fringes. Rarely do such people make the main squeeze.

Nice vs. real

I’m not sure it’s a good idea to admit that it’s been a frustration of mine, as someone who interviews showbiz people on a regular basis. Every now and then, I will get an engaging subject who really speaks his or her mind. But in most cases, I often catch myself wishing that they’d worry less about what the good answer was, and more about what they actually wanted to tell me. I don’t need people to be nice. I need them to be real. I’m aware that they grant a copious number of interviews and are probably so used to the face that they’ve often had to put up — especially since our general audience and entertainment industry are just as obsessed with this niceness and being on the right side of things.

It’s not just the artistas. It’s in the way traditional showbiz journalists give very satisfied nods and “Mmmm”s when the artista has once again given the mabait, maka-Diyos, makatao answer. It’s in the way actors and actresses here are praised again and again for the exact same things, like being “napaka-humble” and not a diva at all. It’s in the way that they will always insist that they’re not perfect — and then proceed to keep their heads down and act out what they believe to be the most ideal version of themselves. It’s in the way some managers stand guard during interviews, ready to interrupt anything that is not supposed to be there. I’ve personally never run into serious censorship, but just that feeling that you are working on perfection, or at the very least a product, has an effect on the overall dynamic. I get that they’re doing their jobs. I also get that it’s in the nature of entertainment industries all over the world to consciously try to project certain constructed images. I get that it’s a business. Maybe I’m naïve to still be looking for people.

It is also in the nature of our showbiz scandals. See, I wasn’t about to suggest that succumbing to the very thing artistas try so hard to avoid is the solution to all the yawn. With the kind of issues the entertainment media comes up with here, you wonder if they still have their heads stuck in last night’s telenovela and have forgotten that this is supposedly real life. “Is Actress A visiting her boyfriend on set to keep an eye on his leading lady? Is there tension? Are they on the verge of a catfight?” I mean, really. Even I wouldn’t be able to portray myself as a proper person if those were the kinds of questions I had to deal with. You also have to hand it to our artistas for all the things they have to humor.

A world of caricatures

Our local showbiz industry is a world of caricatures. Either you’re the good girl who smiles sweetly, follows the formula to a T, always feels blessed despite the stress, and is an inspiration to all — or you’re the drama queen, the crazy bitch, the matapobre who believes everyone is beneath her. Perhaps even sadder than how this causes a huge mass of our stars to run scared toward pursuing a spotless image is how either way it’s too simple to really be interesting.

I think the magic with people happens in the middle ground — where they’re not trying to be good or bad. They’re just themselves, beyond any category you could possibly shelf them in. Where they’re no longer trying to set an example for the lives we’re living (because we need that badly) and simply resound with us, because that’s what happens when someone has the courage to be real.

In this space, the nuances just naturally come out: a short and hot fuse coexisting with the best and the deepest of intentions. An unapologetic elitist snob who finds that he’s capable of compassion. A smoldering actress who won’t deny that she’s beautiful. A genuinely companionable girl who admits that she finds “Muahahaha!” catharsis in her kontrabida roles. A mother who raises her daughter with care and is glad to have recently gotten rid of her second child — her ex-husband.

I think people are inherently interesting. You’re a human being. How can you not have a story? It’s just that in the crazy, highly dichotomized world of Filipino showbiz, there’s hardly any space to let it happen.

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