Gone Girl: Mother holds on after daughter's mysterious disappearance

Five years after her daughter disappeared while trekking in Nepal, Connie Sacco and her family remain hopeful about their daughter’s safe return. She shares her pain and burden with Philstar.com contributor Rick Olivares.

When picturesque Langtang in Nepal, known for its unparalleled combination of cultural and natural splendor, a haven for trekkers, migratory birds and exotic wildlife, was destroyed in a devastating earthquake that hit the region last April 25, the after effects weren’t only felt in nearby India, China and Pakistan.

Some 12,372 kilometers away, in Greeley, Colorado, a family felt the crush of the avalanche of glacial ice, rock and soil that buried and destroyed Langtang Village.

Following the earthquake that registered a magnitude of 7.8 that killed some 9,000 people and injured another 21,000 more, the Sacco family, still reeling from the unexplained disappearance of their daughter Aubrey in Langtang close to five years before the earthquake, felt their hopes buried in the devastation.

The search for Aubrey Sacco, who at the time of her disappearance was on a solo tour of Asia and had gone trekking by herself in Langtang, has involved a large number of people from the missing girl’s family to US Embassy personnel to local police, military, and foreigners based in the area. There were reported sightings by locals, who later recanted. There too have been numerous theories about her disappearance ranging from kidnapping to human trafficking to falling to the seductive but dangerous scenery that is filled with treacherous trails, slopes or even rivers.

Leads have gone cold and have become even colder in the wake of the earthquake. In a terrifying photo released by NASA showing Langtang before and after the quake, the village has been completely wiped off the face of the earth. Some people who could provide testimony or information about Aubrey may be are now either dead or missing.

For all intents and purposes, the region is one disaster area.

Connie Sacco, Aubrey’s mother, remains hopeful no matter how painful and agonizing the mystery of her daughter’s disappearance and the devastation that Mother Nature has wrought.

“Everything came to a standstill when the earthquake hit Nepal,” she recounted of the terrible news. “We have understood and respected the magnitude the country has been going through and so we have taken steps back. However, the US Embassy has stepped up in their communications with police and continued pressuring them that they have not forgotten or closed Aubrey’s case.”

 A bundle of joy and wonder

Like many people her age, Aubrey enjoyed her college life. In fact, the word “exuberant” was oft used to describe her. She carried a bottle of glitter that she used to sprinkle on people while urging them to live life to the fullest. She was a party girl who organized “Campus Dance Day” at the University of Colorado, where she earned a degree in art and psychology in 2009.

After she was done with her schooling, Aubrey set out on a five-month journey of discovery across India, Sri Lanka and Nepal where she taught yoga and worked as a volunteer in a children’s school. She documented her adventures online and as her best friend Amanda (and future sister-in-law as she married Aubrey’s older brother, Crofton) related to blogger Tracy Ross (backpacker), the “Glitter Girl” had changed. Rave parties were no longer what energized her, but life.

"Aubrey has always had many hopes and dreams,” shared the mother, who says her daughter regularly kept in touch with her family via Skype or email. "She wrote them on pieces of paper that she attached to her mirror as a daily reminder, a reminder of hope. They changed as she grew up. Aubrey is a fabulous artist and musician. She spoke of becoming an ‘art therapist’ to children. She spoke of wanting to be a yoga instructor. She spoke of wanting to play her violin professionally. She just hasn't had the chance to make up her mind."

What Aubrey made up her mind about was one last solo trek. Less than a month left in her Asian sojourn, Aubrey planned a trip to Nepal and a trek in Langtang.

"Aubrey told us she would be on her ‘trek’ from seven to 10 days,” related Connie, who later tried to dissuade her daughter from going around as her husband, Paul, was scheduled to undergo hip surgery. “At least wait until your father’s surgery is done,” she pleaded.

 The daughter protested, “It’s a national park. It’s a ’teahouse trek.' It’s safe."

So reluctantly, both mother and daughter went over the route and details of the hike.

The trek through Langtang is called “Teahouse trekking,” wherein travelers trek from village to village, along a footpath with no roads for vehicles, only paths used by people, farmers and their animals. Here, goods for the hotels/lodges for the tourists are carried on the backs of porters.

"Around the seven-day mark I began watching for an email to say she had returned safely. Day after day there were no emails. I began calling the lodges who had telephone numbers listed in ‘The Lonely Planet – Nepal’ trying to find out if by chance Aubrey was at their hotel. It was then I learned that there was no check-in system with the hotels; they really didn't have record of who was in their hotel or not."

The Saccos immediately got in touch with US Embassy officials in Nepal, who informed them of a Maoist strike that shut down the country. "We were told to be patient, wait until the strike was over,” said Connie. “So we waited. Yet when the strike was over there was still no word from Aubrey.”

A dark secret

In the succeeding weeks, the Saccos learned one of Langtang’s darkest secrets. Following Aubrey’s disappearance and the intense media coverage that ensued, it was discovered that trekkers oft disappeared and women adventurers reported being sexually harassed by soldiers and locals. According to US Embassy Consular Deputy Christopher Patch, dozens of trekkers have vanished in the last decade.

It was a frightening discovery that hit home in the gut.

“Nepal wants all these cases to disappear,” believes Connie. “They do not have the means, knowledge, or training on how to correctly investigate a disappearance. The families of the trekkers are usually [the ones] who investigate their loved one’s disappearance. Even bringing information to [Nepalese] officials seems to fall on deaf ears.”

The news of Aubrey’s disappearance affected tourism in the area for a few weeks. Almost as soon as posters of Aubrey were put up both in Kathmandu and Langtang, they were removed, as if locals were afraid that it would affect their businesses.

After the earthquake that devastated the region, quite a few netizens familiar with cases of disappearances by trekkers opined that it was like some cosmic karma as payment for their cover-up of all the people who have disappeared.

The Saccos refuse to believe in such and can only be steadfast in their hope for their daughter’s safe return.

Paul, who is a lawyer in the Colorado area, recently recorded an album of music about his daughter, titled, “Finding Aubrey,” which is available on iTunes and creatspace.com.

In an interview with The Huffington Post, the father bared that the effort was a means to preserve some of his daughter’s original songs as well as an outlet for his pain.

“It was a really good outlet for me to express my pain. It was a controlled way to grieve. I began to find a lot of refuge in the songs as they made me happy. This was a way to celebrate her too," Paul said.

The Sacco family during happier times: From left to right: Morgan, Paul, Aubrey, Connie and Crofton.

 Keeping the faith

It is a parent’s nature to worry about one’s children even when they are grown up.

"From the day your child is born comes the most natural instinct to protect,” enthused Connie. "It does not leave you. It is like an invisible thread that binds a parent to their children even when their children have their own children."

"Myself and my family live our lives with a huge hole, something is missing [Aubrey]. Every family event or get together echoes the fact she is not with us. Every group family photo doesn't 'feel right' – Aubrey is not there, Aubrey is not in the picture. We all know we have to continue moving on as that is nature, that is why we are on this earth, despite feeling guilty about laughing and having a good time, despite the sadness in seeing Aubrey's brothers, cousins and friends moving on with their lives, marriages, babies and her missing out."

"I think of Aubrey so often during the day, seeing her artwork throughout our home, her guitar sitting in view as I walk past it many times a day. A beautiful oil landscape oil painting she painted just for me is the first thing I see every morning and the last thing I see before turning out the light. My day begins and ends with thoughts of her and throughout the day. I can't even keep count; it is almost, still, with every breath."

More than five years after their daughter’s disappearance in a faraway country on the other side of the world, Connie, her husband Paul, and their two boys Crofton and Morgan, and daughter-in-law Amanda have not given up hope that Aubrey will return, safe and unharmed.

“There’s this quote from the Tom Hanks film ‘Castaway’ where his character says, ‘And I know what I have to do -- I have to keep breathing because tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide could bring.’"

"This is how I survive, because I never ever know what the new day will bring, and I must stay strong [for Aubrey, my family and I] and I must breathe."

***

Author’s note: When I expressed a desire to visit Nepal several years ago, an American friend of mine added me to the Facebook group about Aubrey Sacco thinking that even if I was miles away, I could still write something. I wanted to but felt I was too far away to write anything substantial since I didn’t have direct access to anyone. Tracy Ross did a magnificent job and anything else I’d write might seem a pale imitation. I kept regular tabs on the search for Aubrey and offered many prayers for her family and her return. Any news would do. About a week ago, I finally decided that I wanted to write about it with the hope that it will not only keep Aubrey’s story alive but it will help others understand the situation. So I got in touch Ms. Connie who generously and patiently found the time to answer many questions no matter how painful they were. I would do well to learn from her strength and courage.