Speeches vs. conversations

I remember quitting my job as president of an advertising agency in 2001. I just got really tired. It was a rocky year. I needed surgery because half of my face suddenly got swollen. I thought I had mumps. When I went to the doctor he saw an infection in my carotid artery. It was going up to my brain. He didn’t let me out of the hospital. After surgery my face was crooked. Fortunately two years later I had a stroke in my right brain that pulled my face to the left. Miracle of miracles, my face got straight again.

Nevertheless I was truly tired of advertising, tired of my life as president, tired of being invited to speak before people. I realized that I got bored with the speeches I prepared and saw my audience being equally bored. I swore then never to speak publicly again. But that was 16 years ago. 2017 is a new year. I told myself I would have a new life this year. Maybe that is why when Sheila Enriquez sent a text inviting me to speak before an all-women’s Rotary Club in Plaridel, Bulacan, I decided to accept.

Time flew as usual and before I knew it the day was here.  I had not prepared a speech but what would I need a speech for? I brought last week’s article and got into the car. Sheila picked me up because she lives near me. I told her my car was coded on Tuesdays and there are no more windows. She said she would pick me up and take me home. Nothing is more comfortable than that.

Sheila Enriquez is a very pretty and very charming young lady in her 30s. She has a son and is a very proud single mother. I asked her if I could bring a friend. She said yes. So I invited one of the women in Loy’s Harem, a close friend, to come with me.  We traveled down the North Expressway very comfortably, everyone amazed at the improvement in the traffic.

We took the Sta. Rita exit and then turned right and finally we hit Plaridel, Bulacan. Plaridel is a quaint Filipino town. It has quite a number of antique shops. Once upon a time I loved shopping in antique shops. Not anymore. For one thing, I don’t know what I would do with more furniture. For another, antique shops have almost disappeared. But here in Plaridel I saw four or five. They looked charming from the outside. I peeked in and saw enough interesting wooden pieces, glass, even saints, some life-size and others small. Sheila asked if we wanted to look. I did not want to be tempted and, besides, I had brought very little money with me. Nevertheless I thought it was worth writing about because there may be readers who still want to buy antiques. I suggest you check out Plaridel. They have many capiz windows. One can work creatively with a lot of capiz windows.

Our meeting was on the second floor of Chowking Plaridel. The ladies came in slowly and sat at the other table, telling me that they really were hesitant to sit with me, a columnist they did not know. I kept wondering what I would talk about. I believed we should just have a conversation, not a speech because I did not want all of us to be bored to death.

So finally it was time for me to talk. I told them a little about myself, I told them I was 72. “How do you look so young?” They asked. “I threw away my husband,” I replied, “so I have no headaches,” I said jokingly. They asked me a few personal questions that I answered as best I could. Then Amira Arroyo, the club’s new president elect, asked me, “Can you read one of your columns?” Thank God I had brought last Saturday’s column, “Hearts Must Change.” I read it to them and they loved it.

One of them asked me about my daughter, whom she knew from an old TV show and an old commercial we had worked on together. Another lady thanked me for saying I was an introvert because she knew of someone close to her who was an introvert. She said when he told her she was embarrassed for him because she thought being an introvert was bad. No, I assured her, it is not bad. It’s the same as being an extrovert only where extroverts like big crowds introverts like being alone and in small crowds. There’s nothing bad about that.

In the end I was happy I accepted this invitation. It taught me how to talk to other people, to appreciate them and enjoy them. And yes, Amira, all of you were lovely, lovely people. You taught me not to “speech” again but just to reach out and converse.

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