Raising a modern-day knight

(Part I)

All schools have their own specially designed T-Shirts. The insignias of the shirts of high school students can have a significant influence on their lives. The figure of a knight riding on a white horse with hoofs raised high is the badge of courage marking the white t-shirts of the Operation Brotherhood Professional High School students. It goes with the admonition “To fight for the right without question or doubt!” Matching this, right in front of the building complex of OB Montessori headquarters at the corner of Eisenhower and Annapolis, is the mystical monument of the princely knight Lord of Love mounted on the beautiful white horse whose hoofs are raised high. It stands on a pedestal with numerous symbols of spirituality. It is right beside the Temple of the Holy Family.

Manhood: Don’t let your son leave home without it

The book Raising A Modern-Day Knight is about knighthood, which provides for modern-day dads a model of hope for raising a healthy son with moral and spiritual values, despite our own increasingly dark and crude culture.

When does one become a man? Does it happen when a boy reaches puberty or when he drinks his first beer? Does it come with a driver’s license or with a diploma at graduation? Does it take a woman to help him become a man?

Robert Lewis is the man of the hour. He not only paints a vivid vision of manhood, but practically equips dads to pass on this noble vision to their sons. It’s a movement of men who are determined to be successful where it counts – in their relationship with their sons. He describes the tools you need to affirm masculinity in your sons and pass on the legacy that will guide them their entire lives.

A pastor in Little Rock Arkansas, Robert Lewis says, “In my estimation fathers today are coming short with their sons at three critical points. First, we have failed to deliver to our sons a clear, inspiring, biblically grounded ‘definition of manhood.’ How critical is that? It’s comparable to a hunter without a gun . . . or a basketball game without a ball . . . cross-country trip without a map. Telling a boy “to be a man” without defining manhood is like saying “Be a success.” It sounds good. But, practically, it takes you nowhere.

“Second, most fathers lack a directional process that calls their sons to embrace the manhood they should be able to define. Typically what passes for masculine training in most homes is vague and hit-or-miss. We assume sons will somehow “get it.” This hit-or-miss pattern sends conflicting signals. Worse still, it handicaps a son in knowing how to move out of childhood and into manhood. What he really needs is specific language and training.

“A third shortcoming involves the loss of ceremony. How many dads today think of formally commemorating their sons’ progress or passage into manhood? Manhood ceremonies have, in fact become a lost art form. Sons have lost these powerful, life-changing moments where, in the presence of Dad and other men, they can mark either their progress toward or passage into manhood. In the absence of these special ceremonies, sons are left to wonder, Am I a man?

“Is there some way to introduce these three elements – a definition, a process, and ceremonies – into your son’s life? Yes. And it begins by looking back to another day and another time for inspiration – back to the age of Knights.”

The relevance of knighthood

Sons need fathers who are involved in their lives – dads who will love them, teach them, and discipline them. But clearly, sons also need a masculine vision.

Our concept of “gentleman” had its origin in the chivalric code of honor. Many military ceremonies and traditions originated in the kingly courts of 13th century Europe.

The US Army sports teams from West Point are still  called “the Black Knights.” It gave order and substance to an age otherwise in chaos and confusion.

Just as the medieval knight’s chivalry embodied a well-defined set of ideals, his life also outlined a well-defined process. At age seven or eight, he became a page. He was removed from his mother’s care and went to live in a castle, usually with an overlord or relative. Here, the page learned about armor and weapons and falconry, the rudiments of knighthood. He also performed household tasks for the “queen of the castle.”

At the age of 14, the page became a squire. He attached himself to a knight and traveled everywhere in his company, serving him in the most menial of tasks: He carried the knight’s lance, woke him in the morning, and even helped him dress. The squire also competed in tournaments and perfected the skills he had learned as a page. Such rigorous discipline prepared him for the final stage of his journey.

When he turned 21, he was eligible for knighthood. An elaborate initiation, which included a nightlong vigil, a ceremonial bath and a dubbing, marked the completion of the process. He was now a knight! He took his place in the order of knighthood and uphold the code of honor.

From page to squire to knight – a young man could envision the process, count the cost, and pursue his dream.

Sadly, for a boy today, there is no equivalent path on the journey to manhood. There are no landmarks or milestones to guide a boy’s journey and no ceremonies to tell him when manhood begins.

Harnessing the passion of masculinity

Modern culture does little to harness the energy and passion of men for good. This may well explain why men are responsible for much of our social upheavals:

In the US by 2002, 88 percent of local jail inmates were men. In 2001, 93.4 percent of state prison inmates were men. In 1997, 93 percent of federal prison inmates were men. In 1996, 92 percent of convicted, violent felons were men. The lifetime chance that a person will go to prison is 1.8 percent for women, and 11.3 percent for men.

Our day of confusion cries out for a rock-solid definition of manhood, the kind of definition that transcends the cultural confusion now washing over men today. We can arrive at a rock-solid definition by comparing and contrasting two prominent Bible characters: Adam and Christ stand over against each other as the two great figures at the entrance of two worlds, two creations, the old and the new.

The first Adam represents life separated from God. His manhood is based upon instinct, reaction, and preservation – not revelation. The first Adam represents a failed manhood that seeks to draw life from others. By contrast, the second Adam (Christ) represents life in union with God. His manhood is influenced by spiritual direction and based on faith, not flesh. This elevated masculinity, as Corinthians 15:45 says, “is life-giving, not life-taking.”

‘We see more manhood in the manger than in the garden of Eden’

We see more manhood in the manger of Jesus than we do in the garden with Adam. Why? Because in the manger we find Jesus, having rejected His divine right as God, initiating toward the world as man, a real man! Although He existed in the form of God, He did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped. He emptied Himself taking the form of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men – a teacher, a healer and a miracle worker. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on the Cross.

Real manhood begins with a decision to reject social and spiritual passivity as exhibited by Adam.

When Eve tempted by Satan, ate the forbidden fruit, Adam submits to her invitation to bite the apple. You fully expect Adam to come running with a garden hoe, cut off the serpent’s head, and end this heinous approach of evil. But confronted with his social and spiritual responsibilities, Adam becomes of all things, passive. The differences between Adam and Jesus formulate the authentic manhood principles for today: a real man rejects passivity, accepts responsibility, leads courageously, and expects the greater reward.

(Part II – “ The Power of Manhood Ceremonies”)