Joy Belmonte’s 10 precious lessons from BGB

Having worked with Quezon City Vice Mayor Joy Belmonte as part of the board of Abilympics Philippines, my mom shared so many heartwarming stories about her.

During their trip to India to accompany the Abilympics Philippine delegation, Joy shared a room with my mom and another board member, Tita Begonia Ortigas. Joy quietly slept on the extra bed provided by the hotel and every morning and evening, she would patiently wait until my mom and Mrs. Ortigas were done with the bathroom. My mom would tell us how Joy took care of them, always asking them during lunch and dinner what she could get for them at the buffet table and her dedication during events never waned as she watched and assisted the participants the whole time.

In 2010, it was my turn to work closely with Joy during her term as chair and president of the Congressional Spouses Foundation Inc. (CSFI). Despite her busy schedule as Vice Mayor of Quezon City, Joy managed to keep more than 200 of us members together and united, always smiling and calm as we worked together to achieve the goals she set for CSFI.

I am very sure her mom, Tita Betty Go Belmonte, is happy in heaven seeing all that Joy has done not only for herself and her family but for the country as well.

Let’s read on as VM Joy Belmonte shares with us the lessons she learned from her mother, also known as BGB.

“Below are 10 precious lessons I learned from my mother,” Joy says. “Though I do not agree with many of them, I appreciate the logic behind them, the intentions they serve, and the character they represent.”

A young Joy with her mother, The Philippine STAR founding chairman Betty Go Belmonte.

1. One’s priorities in life must be (in this order): God, country and family. Most people would place “country” third on the list after family. But my mother always believed that if you dedicate your life to serving the country, your family will always understand. Hence, I grew up hardly ever seeing both my parents but I was content knowing they were not out partying, shopping or playing sports, but were putting a newspaper to bed (mother) or spending time with constituents (father).

2. Be generous to a fault. When I was a kid, I would accompany my mother to work and would often be there when she’d receive her salary, which in the late ‘70s was placed in brown envelopes. As soon as she got her envelope, she’d distribute all the money to various individuals in the office who were in dire straits such as those sending kids to school or those with medical problems. Within minutes, the envelope would be completely empty. She’d then whisper to me: “You need to get your allowance from your dad. I’m broke.”

3. Don’t compromise on your values and principles for whatever reason. Mom always believed that strength of character meant being steadfast in one’s convictions and having the determination to stand up for them under any circumstance. She believed that people who always waver are indecisive people. Those who are unable to take a stand on issues that matter are unfit to hold positions of power or responsibility.

4. Gambling is wrong and no amount of charity work justifies government-sponsored gambling. This may sound like a strange lesson to include here but I remember it distinctly because it was always an issue she and her very close friend Tita Cory Aquino disagreed about, and I often overheard them argue about this over the phone. This conviction of my mother’s was also the reason why casinos, Small Town Lottery, etc. were not allowed in Quezon City during my father’s mayorship. He did not want to disrespect my mother’s memory by allowing gambling into our city.

5. Everything is just black or white, or in other words, right or wrong. One should never think in grays. Thinking in grays eventually leads to the breakdown of our moral fiber, because once we allow ourselves into the gray spectrum, a light gray can easily turn into black without our even noticing.

6. Don’t be stingy with compassion. Do everything in your power to ease  the burden of others. I saw this trait in my mother firsthand on two occasions. The first was when a ship sank off the coast of Mindoro and my mother spent weeks there looking for the daughters of a close friend whom she believed were still alive and rescued by fishermen. Her great faith was a source of strength and inspiration for her friend. The second was when a student from the school I was teaching in during my volunteer year in Kadingilan, Bukidnon was hit by a stray bullet, and she moved heaven and earth to find a chopper to bring the child to a hospital in Manila for medical attention.

7. We were put on this earth for one reason alone, and that is to bring glory and honor to God. I recall my mother always telling me that a life not spent in the service of the Lord is a meaningless life.

8. All our actions and all our decisions must be made in accordance with God’s will, with faith in Him as our ultimate source of strength and our guide. My mother practiced what I call Bible-cutting. In order to ascertain God’s will, she would say a prayer, open the Bible to some random page, then read the first few lines that would catch her attention. She made important decisions such as whether to marry my father or whether to establish The Philippine STAR in this manner. She also decided on a name for me when, on the eve of my birth, she opened the Bible to Psalm 30:5, which read: “… but joy comes with the morning.”

9. No matter how busy you are, always accompany your husband on his business trips abroad. If he travels alone and finds solace in the company of another woman, you only have yourself to blame. Indeed, my father must have been quite good-looking and a real charmer in his younger years for my mother to have taught me this lesson.

10. Don’t be afraid to go against convention in the pursuit of a dream, even if everybody thinks you’re crazy; because it is those among us who dare to be different that truly make a positive and sustainable difference in the world. Many people thought my mother was nuts because of her quirkiness. But this same quirky woman established two of the country’s major broadsheets, managed some of the most prestigious civic organizations of her time, and was once considered one of the country’s most powerful women. At her wake in January 1993, I had never seen so many people representing as many backgrounds. Hundreds of teary-eyed people from all walks of life and various parts of the country came up to me to tell me about how my mother had touched them. I had never felt prouder of my mother in my whole life as I was during that week when she lay in state at our family compound.