Mutya Darlene is showbiz material

As I’ve been saying, newly-crowned (2001) Mutya ng Pilipinas Darlene Carbungco, 20, is a showbiz material. That was what many people (those in the audience at the NBC Tent where the Mutya Pageant was held last month and those watching the proceedings at home) thought as soon as Darlene appeared onstage during the swimsuit competition (which she handily won).

She is sexy, she is beautiful (dusky looks and all), she’s articulate and intelligent (as she showed all and sundry during the question and answer portion, making a lot of people stand up and take notice and a closer look at her after initially thinking Darlene was a dumb beauty).

But then, Darlene told Funfare during a brief chat backstage at the GMA Studio (where she sat as one of the judges of Eat Bulaga’s heavyweight contest Feeling Sexy, where 200-pound ladies competed), her boyfriend Mark Lapid (son of Pampanga Gov. Lito Lapid) wouldn’t let her, prompting Darlene to tease Mark, "E, bakit ikaw nasa showbiz? Why don’t you let me?"

For a starter (after her Mutya reign, with the Miss Asia-Pacific Quest in October as her first "international’’ challenge after winning the local title over 24 other bets), Darlene hopes to appear in TV shows and then, why not, maybe a movie with Mark and (her future father-in-law?) Gov. Lito who is mighty proud of her.

A nursing student at the Angeles University (she lives in Olongapo with her family), Darlene once volunteered to work at the resettlement areas around Mt. Pinatubo, teaching the evacuees the value of cleanliness and the perils of food poisoning. "It was a very fulfilling experience," she said.

If and when, she’ll be the second nurse-actress in local movies (after Susan Valdez who’s now living happily after with her husband and kids in the States).

Little lesson in grammar

Meanwhile, here’s Funfare’s usual little lesson in grammar from Funfare-friendly Paul R. Mortel of MBLA Court, Malanday, Marikina City:

1. Son Of A Gun

Meaning: An epithet

Origin: In the 1800s, British sailors took women along an extended voyages. When babies were born at sea, the mothers delivered them in a partitioned section of the gundeck. Because no one could be sure who the true fathers were, each of these "gunnery" babies was jokingly called a "son of a gun";

2. Have An Axe To Grind

Meaning: Have a hidden agenda.

Origin: The expression comes from a story told by Benjamin Franklin. A man once praised Franklin’s father’s grindstone and asked young Benjamin to demonstrate how the grindstone worked. As Franklin complied, the stranger placed his own axe upon the grindstone, praising the young boy for his cleverness and vigor. When the axe was sharpened, the man laughed at Franklin and walked away, giving the boy a valuable lesson about people with an "axe to grind";

3. To Close Ranks

Meaning: To present a united front.

Origin: In the old time European armies, the soldiers were aligned side by side, in neat rows, or ranks on the battlefield. When the enemy attacked, officers would order the troops to close ranks, that is, to move the rows close together, so that the enemy faced a seemingly impregnable mass of men.

4. Not Up To Scratch

Meaning: Inadequate, subpar.

Origin: In the early days of boxing, there was no bell to signal the beginning of a round. Instead, the referee would scratch a line on the ground between fighters, and the round begins when both men stepped over it. When a boxer couldn’t cross the line to keep a match going, people said he was not "up to the scratch";

5. Chew The Fat

Meaning: Chat, engage in idle conversation.

Origin: Originally a sailor’s term. Before refrigeration, ships carried food that wouldn’t spoil. One of them was salted pork skin, a practically inedible morsel that consisted largely of fat. Sailors would only eat it when all the other food was gone and they often complained as they did. This (and other) idle chatter eventually became known as "chewing the fat";

6. For The Birds

Meaning: Worthless

Origin: According to Robert Chiborne in "Loose Cannons and Red Herrings", it refers to city streets as they were before cars. "When I was a youngster on the streets of New York, one could both see and smell the emissions of horse-drawn wagons. Since there was no way of controlling these emissions, they, or the undigested oats in them, served to nourish a large population of English sparrows. If you say something for the birds, you’re politely saying that it’s horseshit;

7. Read Between The Lines

Meaning: To perceive or understand a hidden meaning.

Origin: In the 16th century it became common for politicians, soldiers and business people to write in code. To ordinary folks, this writing was unintelligible. They concluded that the meaning was not in the lines of gibberish, but in the space between them;

8. You’re No Spring Chicken

Meaning: You’re not young anymore, you’re past your prime.

Origin: Until recent generations, there were no incubators and few warm hen houses. That meant chicks couldn’t be raised during winter. New England growers found that those born in the spring brought premium prices in the summer market places. When these Yankee traders tried to pass off old birds as part of the spring crop, smart buyers would protest that the bird was "no spring chicken";

9. Flash In The Pan

Meaning: Short-lived success.

Origin: In the 1700s, the pan of a flintlock musket was the part that held the gunpowder. If all went well, sparks from the flint would ignite the charge, which would then propel the bullet out of the barrel. However, sometimes, the gun powder would burn without igniting a main charge. The flash would burn brightly but only briefly, with no lasting effect.

(Source: The Best of Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader)