Living La Vida Local

CEBU, Philippines - When they told me back then that some of life’s most important lessons simply cannot be learned within the four walls of the classroom, they weren’t kidding. The most painful part about it was that I had to learn the lesson the hard way. Looking back, I must say it really wasn’t my fault I totally missed out on that valuable life-saving skill. I mean, I might have been able to brandish my pedicab riding skills back in Dumaguete but Cebu and the jeepney? Now that’s a different story altogether.

After close to a month of living in Cebu, I’ve come to the realization that beyond trying to eliminate my Ls ( repeat after me: uwan, ngan, saag…)and enduring the intensity of the noontime heat, one must do as the Cebuanos do (especially when one is on belt tightening measures) and start getting used to getting around the city via the cheapest and most popular mode of transportation—the jeepney.

I know jeepneys have been around since goodness knows when but just to be honest with you, I’ve never really tried to learn navigating around the city through one until I was left without a choice but to. And guess what? Learning to ride the jeepney is about as important as knowing how to speak Cebuano. If you’re just like me and you’re new to this whole jeepney thing, here are the ten commandments that everyone who wishes to make the jeepney his or her primary mode of transpo must know by heart.

Thou Shall Understand the Jeepney Code. You may have heard of the Da Vinci Code. The Jeepney Code isn’t as complicated—once you get the hang of it. You see, unlike taxis and okay, pedicabs, you don’t just jump into the jeepney and tell the driver where you’re off to. Jeepneys are coded with a letter and number combo like 06H, 04C, 14D, and the like. Each code corresponds to a specific route that the jeepney is assigned to. So if you’re off to Guadalupe Church from Ayala, you might as well hop onto 06H and just sit back and enjoy the ride.

Thou Shall Take Note of the Jeepney’s Direction. This happened to me while I was learning how to get to where I was heading on two rides: I was on my way to Robinsons from the Redemp. After quickly typing my friend’s instructions on my phone on which jeepney to ride going to Robinsons and finally to SM, I walked all the way to Foodah, crossed the road the moment I spotted 04C, and hopped on board. Right jeepney, wrong direction. To make the long story short, I was wondering why we were headed uphill, going past the showrooms of Ford and Honda—until a huge sign on the side of the road filled me with utmost dread: Welcome to Barangay Busay. At the very least I was able to catch a scenic view of the city at Php 7.00 and was lucky enough to spot another jeepney heading downhill. I eventually got to Robinsons an hour after. With a splitting headache, I eventually just waved the white flag and took the taxi to SM. Moral of the story: it’s also about direction, baby.

Thou Shall Not Pay Thy Fare with Bills Beyond Twenty Pesos. If you’re a student, you only have to pay Php 6.00. Please be sensitive enough to save the conductor or the barker the extra agony of having to deduct Php 6.00 from Php 1000.00. Sometimes, it’s the jeepney driver who also serves as the cashier. Honestly, I don’t think it’s easy to do mental calculations, to pay attention when someone says ‘lugar lang’, and to drive, among other things. At the very least, how would you feel if you were selling candy for fifty centavos a piece and someone paid you a thousand bucks for one candy? That said, let’s move on.

Thou Shall Not Sleep While On the Jeepney. The jeepney is not exactly your private vehicle with your own chauffeur. While on the jeepney, it pays to be mindful of the landmarks you’re passing every now and then just to make sure you didn’t miss your destination. Remember that the only time the jeepney driver will know where you’re headed is the time when you’re about to jump off after saying ‘lugar lang’ or some nonverbal equivalent.

Thou Shall Not Text. Unless your cell phone looks like a bomb detonator (yes, you get the picture), keep it in your bag where it’s safe. You can’t just assume that your friendly neighborhood snatcher will turn a blind eye on your swanky new iPhone. 

Thou Shall Keep Thy Bag Close (On Thy Lap, Between Thy Forearms). Yes, the innocent looking lady who bring a huge bag as one of her props as she slashes the side of your bag and deftly makes your Gucci wallet vanish into thin air is real. Watch who you are sitting with and keep your bag slash-proof.

Thou Shall Be Willing to Endure the Exhaust and the Heat. It’s tough but yes, one has to be ready to commute on the following conditions: being squished like sardines alongside fellow passengers during peak hours, sweating while traveling when the sun is high and up, and filling one’s lungs with exhaust from other jeepneys and vehicles cruising the city streets. Hey, Php 7.00 doesn’t exactly guarantee you a first class ride.

Effective jeepney commuting (not getting lost, not accidentally finding oneself at Tops or Busay) is like effective writing—it takes loads of practice. The first time is always the hardest and the scariest but after getting lost and finding your way back again, it’ll seem as if it’s all second nature. 

Damn, I’m missing the pedicabs…