How to access the source of happiness

Happiness originates from joy. And the hunt for real joy outside of the “me,” “my,” or “I” zone is an innate human inclination. Every so often, you are assaulted with messages from almost every facet of society aggressively dictating that you will be more joyful if you get something that truly glitters or acquire branded products, which not a lot of people can afford — from bags to shoes to any noticeable accessory; or date the most good-looking person in your circle; or make more money, attain a personal or professional goal, or experience gratification in what you do.

Joy is a maintainable condition that energizes your imagination and motivation to do innovative work. Learning to develop and nurture joy is the basic secret to success. It fortifies your facility to draw friends and to get along with people of varying types and orientations.

In his long-awaited book, Joy on Demand, Chade-Meng Tan shows how you can access the source of happiness. “If you have been unhappy, or you are happy and aspire to be even happier, know that your happiness set point can be upgraded. I know because I did it, I have seen many others do it, and scientific studies have measured it. Of course, Buddhist monks and other contemplative people have been doing it for thousands of years, but it’s not something in the water in the Himalayas, it’s something you can do, too, wherever you are. I think the main problem is most people aren’t aware that it is even possible. Or, if you’ve heard of it, you think it is unattainable so you don’t even try.”

Joy on Demand shares some principles on how to tap into the natural, unlimited capacity for joy. The advantages extend to every aspect of your life: your brain thinks clearer, your body functions better, you achieve greater success at work, and you find yourself highly attractive to the people around you.  And to train your mind to access free joy, you need to understand how joy arises independent of sensual stimulation, and then cultivate these three principles:

1. Mindfulness throughout various moments of your day can train your mind to be at ease. Easing into joy is step one. This permits you to discover the joy that is always there for you to recognize and accept when you’re not bogged down in anxiety and disappointment. Although joy is a fleeting emotion, it is possible to access it in almost any situation. The more often you access joy, the more generally happy you feel. When your mind is comfortable, joy becomes easier to attain. You have to be joyful at rest, with no ego stroking or sensual pleasure required. Cultivating this form of inner joy begins to release you from over-dependency on intellect and self-image stimulation to derive pleasure. This means joy becomes more and more accessible wherever, whenever.

2. If the mind is inclined in a certain way, then positive emotions flow effortlessly. This principle summarizes step two: inclining the mind toward joy. The sharper the slope of a mountain, the more trouble-free the water gushes down it. You need to teach your mind to be unaffectedly predisposed toward joy. Learn where to look for it, and most likely, it is already available to you — in moments that you, perhaps, have ignored in the past. As Chade-Meng observes, “You make a fresh routine of becoming aware of the joy that’s already at hand in simple moments of daily life, by paying close attention to the qualities of joy.”

There is joy to be found in a calming breath and in the pleasures of ordinary activities. Inviting and noticing joy should become part of your meditation practice as well as your habits to make your daily existence more relevant.  The more the mind becomes familiar with joy, the more it perceives joy and effortlessly creates the conditions conducive to joy. It takes six seconds to complete one full breath, and within that limited time, you can begin to access joy. Try it right now. Perform one in-breath and one out-breath, and you will notice that you were just a bit more relaxed during that conscious breath. “This happens because when you’re conscious of the breath, it naturally becomes a little slower and deeper, which triggers the relaxation response in the body,” Chade-Meng explains. And if your attention is grounded in the present moment, you can’t be worrying about the future or regretting the past. You are free from those causes of unhappiness. These physical and psychological comforts allow you to realize a subtle yet profound sense of joy.

3. A big secret of happiness is to be on the giving end of a kind thought. This is a big aspect in step three: uplifting the mind. Practice kindness and compassion and you create joyful mind states. Whenever you are able to generate benevolence or empathy, you are also able to build joy. The wholesomeness of such joy creates a positive impact on your mental health, very much like wholesome food provides benefits to your physical health. Such joy also leads the mind into a more stable, collected state because it doesn’t have to fight with anything like regret or envy. In turn, the stable, collected mind is more conducive to wholesome joy, thus establishing a virtuous cycle.

You can work on this step right now. For one full breath, think of three people and wish each one of them sincere happiness, one at a time. If you take a few seconds to do this exercise each day, you might notice that you become a bit more of a “jolly good fellow.” And with a little bit of training, Chade-Meng proposes that you gradually extend your realization of joy from one breath to many moments of the day, including demanding situations. Undoubtedly, that joy can become deeper over time.

All in all, Joy on Demand should be seen as a challenge, accepting that happiness can seem fleeting at times. It is also a science, believing that the key to lasting joy is to find it beyond pleasure of the senses or the ego. For tips on how to gain a right of entry to  “joy’s kingdom,” take a clear lesson from this inspiring tome: “There was a man who had a skin condition that made his skin itch all the time. Every time he scratched his itch, he felt good. Then one day, a skillful doctor cured him of his skin condition, and he didn’t have to scratch anymore. He realized that scratching his itch had felt good, but not having to scratch an itch at all feels even better.”

Your mind is conditioned to have a mind that itches for two types of pleasure: pleasure of the senses and pleasure of the ego. When your senses are pleasantly stimulated, as when you eat something tasty, or your ego is pleasantly stimulated, as when you are praised for something you did, you feel joy, which is good. What is even better is if you can feel joy independent of sense or ego pleasure. For example, when you are eating chocolate, you experience joy, and when you are just sitting there not eating chocolate, you still experience joy. In order to do this, you train the mind to access joy even when it is free from stimulation. This is also the secret to raising your happiness set point.

If you want joy badly in your life, work for it or, better yet, demand it. Theodore Roosevelt exclaimed, “The joy in life is his who has the heart to demand it.”

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Email bongosorio@gmail.com for comments, questions or suggestions. Thank you for communicating. Joy on Demand is available at National Book Store.