On kindness
People look forward to the holiday season with excitement which for the most part is celebrated with parties, shopping and family bonding. Not that I don’t enjoy it, in fact, it’s pretty much a good time for me to be with relatives and friends. It’s just that I have no control over my appetite during this time. But thank heavens I survived with just a slightly over a pound of extra with all those seemingly endless invitations that I had attended.
The recent Holidays was a little unique in that, I was a bit more passive this time trying to be observant and “nosy” with what was going on around me. But it was also an opportunity for me to spend alone with myself and did many of those things that I missed doing like movie marathons, musing in broad daylight, and most specially reading which brings me to the topic for today’s column which admittedly has little connection with business.
The book, On Kindness by Adam Philllips and Barbara Taylor, was a totally different read for me. Different not because it’s an “unusual” book, but because the book is already a reflection in itself. Most of us read, ponder and reflect. In this book, the authors seem to already have a clue with what you are about to derive as an insight or analysis.
On Kindness is a dichotomy of, perhaps a forensic examination on kindness. Of criticism and praise from various perspectives – from human psychology, history, philosophy and social theory. It is a picturesque of kindness vigorously distilled in one little book. And before I forget, I would like to thank one of our readers, Mr. Roel Lood, for taking time to search and research the books that I love reading. It was really time well-spent having closing encounters with such abundance of ideas on the subject which is often trivialized in our modern society.
And since we cannot pour all the points here, let me just pick some of its notable parts. On the critical or from the side of cynics, people do acts of kindness as a means to solicit social favor. Kindness is also weakness where “the weak control the strong” by appealing to pity and sentimentalism. Others for “moral approval” or perfunctory duty prescribed or sacralized by their religious persuasions. From a psychoanalysis perspective, kindness is a human penchant or a natural disposition for us to gain future favor (emotional, carnal material, etc) or as a means to defend ourselves against the very same favor that others might gain from us. That’s why some of us return the same kindness to our givers so we don’t owe anyone a favor.
On the other hand, the book goes with Jean-Jacque Rousseau’s argument that, “Kindness makes us fully human. We depend on each other not just for our survival but for our very being. The self without sympathetic attachments is either a fiction or a lunatic.” I think the best example being presented in the book on our humanity is the kindness demonstrated by a child where there are no motives or preconditions, where the child thinks not to win the sympathy of her parents, but an act of her natural tenderness and love for her parents -- her simple humor, hugs and kisses are more than enough to create a change in every parent’s direction and action only to serve the child’s best interest.
In this age of profits, motivation, and quid pro quos, kindness is often looked at askance whether or not if there exists “unconditional and sincere kindness” in the recesses of a thinking human mind. But to be kind, I believe, is to forget that you’re doing it for a reason (not for religion, moral approval or even social responsibility). Kindness in its sincerest form is our way of expressing that we care.
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2014 was a very busy year for me, and I would like to beg for your indulgence for those times that I didn’t show up in this section. I will do my very best this year to really manage my time well for me to be present every Saturday on print and online. I would like to personally thank our readers for sharing my thoughts on their Facebook and Twitter and for giving their likes even though there were times I was a bore and for those times that I didn’t give my all.
I would like to also greet our loyal readers in various parts of the world who always encourage me to write or comment something about an issue of interest namely, Darwin Tormis in New York, Sean Salera in San Bruno, California, Paul Whelmer Alforque from Brisbane Australia. My personal thanks to Mr. Anthony Leuterio, of Leuterio Realty for actively sharing real estate information where I learned and gained so much from his insights and analysis many of which are a great resource for this column.
And to all who have followed this column, my prayer for 2015 is for opportunity to gain prosperity, wisdom to do business rightly and fairly, and health for us to enjoy the fruits of our labor.
A meaningful New Year ahead to one and all!
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