Church leaders on marriage dissolution: Kids at a loss if parents split

CEBU, Philippines — “They (legislators) can actually do what they want but their conscience will haunt them.”  This was the statement of Cebu Auxiliary Bishop Oscar Jaime Florencio in the heels of the statement of Speaker Pantaleon Alvarez that the bill that seeks to legalize dissolution of marriage may be passed in the lower house before Christmas.

Florencio believes miserable children will be a "logical disadvantage of a dissolved marriage."

"It is unthinkable that parents rather than (being the) protectors of the rights and welfare of their children become the abusers," he told The FREEMAN.

He said the proposed legislation is “an affront to the capability of every man and woman who can endure difficulties for a lifelong commitment."

Fr. Eligio Suico, chairman of the Cebu Archdiocesan Commission on Family and Life Apostolate agrees.

He believes that children will suffer from identity crisis when their parents go their separate ways.

"They would have an identity crisis. Who is my father? Is it my biological father or the one that is now the new partner of my mother?" he contended.

"When children would have this kind of crisis, can we expect them to help build a stronger Filipino society? Is it not treason then if you help destroy your own country?" he argued further.

According to the bill, a marriage may be dissolved over irreconcilable differences or severe or chronic unhappiness.

But Suico said it might be wise to ask the proponent if they are subjective or objective when they filed the bill.

"For if it is subjective, there is no way that he imposes his own thought to the majority in the guise now of a right to pass a certain law; otherwise if it is found out that he is subjective because he has some biases for it then he might be using his privilege to promote his own interests which would no longer be befitting of a statesman," he said.

Monsignor Joseph Tan, media liaison officer of the Cebu archdiocese, also believes the proponents must explain the concept of unhappiness further in the context of the bill.

"Unhappiness is a vague concept and must be first explained what it is to merit the new legislation added to existing annulment provisions. What is affected is not only the family but every other form of commitment that requires sacrifice," he said.

Suico also said there is no such thing as irreconcilable differences to those who are bound together by God through their marital vows.

"Love can't be lost. It is inscribed in every heart of a person. It can only be covered by the dust or soil of hatred or egoism. One only needs to forgive or go away from egoism to uncover that love once again," he said.

Separation painful

Suico reminded married couples that annulment itself is a difficult process so that only those who firmly believe that their marriage is null and void in the beginning would be willing to undergo the same.

"Now, if the bill would be passed, then anybody who is as egoistic as any of those involved in any vices would easily avail of the dissolution process to satisfy his or her own egoism," he said.

Intervention

Tan said the Church is yet to come up with specific actions to fight the bill but Florencio believes the best action to take now is to strengthen institutions that protect the family.

"For this reason, there is a need for somebody or institution to help people distinguish right from wrong - here comes the Church," he further explained.

Suico said his commission is working on establishing the "John Paul II Family and Life" center, a counseling facility in every parish that would promote family wellness and would help individuals, couples and families in crisis.

He called on parish priests to support the initiative.

"As part of this Church, we need to pray for one another and make some efforts to form our conscience. Let us also pray for all legislators that they would be guided by a right conscience not by a subjective one," he said. — /JMO (FREEMAN)