Bets fair game for text jokes

It’s open season on candidates running in the May elections, who have become the butt of text jokes and the subject of coffee shop patter.

While mobile phone owners wonder where the text messages are coming from and how political dirty tricks departments get their numbers, they cannot help but be amused with some of the jokes and black propaganda.

One of the text messages says that former senator John Osmeña, who is running under the Genuine Opposition (GO), should have gotten Ricky Reyes for his television ad because "Tatak Osmeña" paled beside the popular hairstylist’s slogan.

Team Unity bet Surigao del Sur Rep. Prospero Pichay’s ad, on the other hand, was said to be ineffective because instead of saying he would try to fulfill the dreams of the poor people featured in the ad for adequate food, education and housing, his campaign pitch was: "Pangarap kong tuparin ang mga pangarap niyo. (My dream is to make your dreams come true.)"

The jokes also went to say that "Itanim si Pichay sa Senado (Plant Pichay in the Senate)" would be difficult since it might be "hard to uproot him when the time comes." Pichay sounds like the leafy vegetable pechay, thus the "Itanim sa Senado" campaign pitch.

Another Team Unity bet who became the butt of jokes was former presidential chief of staff Michael Defensor, who markets himself as "’tol" or the Filipino street word for brother that sounds like tall when he is actually short.

Even Pichay mentioned this moniker on Defensor in one of his speeches and said Defensor was making known his frustration. Defensor also made fun of Pichay, describing the lawmaker as "hindi hayop, hindi bagay, gulay (not an animal, not a thing, a vegetable)."

Senate President Manuel Villar, who is seeking re-election as guest candidate of the opposition, was teased by Senate reporters for his dancing in his ad. The Senate media also bluntly asked Villar if he had botox to remove his wrinkles and Villar sharply said no. "That’s the truth even if lightning strikes me," Villar said.

On a more serious note, independent senatorial candidate Francis Pangilinan said he was so happy with his ad featuring his showbiz megastar wife, Sharon Cuneta and daughters Frankie, 6 and Miel, 2 as his endorsers.

Pangilinan’s wife and Frankie talked about the Senate majority leader as a person with dignity, principles, reliability and love for family and country, thus deserving to be re-elected.

"Miel was a scene stealer," he said of his two-year-old daughter doing the "K Na" (meaning okay) gesture during a dinner with other senators and the media.

But Pangilinan admitted Frankie was having a hard time coping with his absence and had been manifesting it by disobeying her babysitter and sometimes, her mother.

"So one morning I talked to her and ask if she is hurting in her heart and she said yes. According to her, she does not have a playmate anymore because of the campaign," Pangilinan said.

"I explained that the campaign will only last for a certain period of time and after which (we) could play again more often. She understood and told me, ‘okay, I thought the campaign is forever’," he added.

The senator said his daughters are very close to him and Frankie would always count the days that he was out of the house and wait for him to make up for his absence by telling her stories.

"I normally just invent these stories and they can reduce her to tears," Pangilinan said.