More films crowd November calendar

 We don’t remember having watched as many movies within two days except when Cinemalaya comes around and we practically sleep at the Cultural Center of the Philippines to do five films in a day including some lectures.

Last Monday, we wrote about The Counselor and its story of life, death and suffering whose great acting saved it from becoming a simple crime story. The Korean revenge film Don’t Cry Mommy had us crying all the time, while Gaydar brought a new take on gay relationships.

In Part Two of our report on November movies, we have a combination of animated films, horror and vampires. We ask ourselves, why were we wasting so much time watching stuff we already knew would be close to trash? A friend told us, “Isn’t it obvious? You are trying to close your eyes from the horror that has beset the country, by finding release in dreadful stories on the screen!”

Night of the Demons is a 2009 remake of the 1988 American film turned sex and horror with some hip men and women arriving to party at a large century-old home. We are introduced to each one and we find their inclinations to be sex and more sex. Former lovers go to a bedroom to engage in kinky sex, another is getting drunk, still another goes to the toilet and a hand that cannot be human grabs her through the mirror.

Angela remarks that the house is full of hidden rooms, including a tunnel leading to the next estate. A group discovers six skeletons laying on the floor, which Angela says could be party guests in the past. We are then treated to Dex and Lily in sexual acts when Dex transforms into a demon. Try to imagine sex with a demon and you have that scene. We encounter another pair in still another sex and blood sequence. Suffice it to say that the remaining party guests realize they are imprisoned and the only way out is wait for the sun to rise and the demons to vanish. As the sun rises, Maddie is the only one left on her feet to escape the horror. It is an unbelievably terrible movie with inane lovemaking in between. Attention MTRCB.

Love Bites: The Reluctant Vampire is a comedy love story between human Kendall and Vampire Zachary. Zachary tells the story of how he came to be a vampire. In 1688, he was bitten by vampire Nerissa and they lived together for 100 years before she decided to run off with a Washington politician. Zachary pines for Nerissa for the next 100 years and finally decides to sleep it off. Upon awaking Zachary is entranced by such changes in the world like refrigerators, electric light bulbs and cars that talk. Zachary is also entranced by Kendall, and before long they are a twosome. Zachary decides to end his existence as a vampire and asks Kendall to help him in “modifying his digestive system” so that he can eat human food. Before long, Zachary is slurping down spaghetti and munching on pizza. This is definitely better than a demon sex story.

Pokémon the Movie: Genesect and the Legend Awakened aired over Cartoon Network yesterday Oct. 19 is the latest in the POH-kay-mon media franchise. Published and owned by Japanese video game company Nintendo in 1996, the name Pokémon is a contraction of Pocket Monsters. We never quite knew the vast empire of these pocket monsters until only recently.

When big trouble threatens the city, Ash, Pikachu and their friends are called upon to stop it! We are then introduced to the Legendary Pokémons Mewtwo and Red Genesect who don’t trust each other. As their confrontation rages out of control, the audience wonders, “Can Ash and friends stop these two powerful Pokémon before they destroy the city?”

Free Birds is a 2013 American 3D computer-animated buddy comedy film which features the voices of Owen Wilson, Woody Harrelson and Amy Poehler. Reggie the Turkey has always been afraid of Thanksgiving because turkeys have constantly been on the menu. When other turkeys realize what’s going on, they throw Reggie to the wolves to save themselves. In a surprise twist of fate, Reggie winds up being named “pardoned turkey” by the President of the United States and is taken to Camp David to enjoy pizza and telenovelas.

The rest of the film could be called the misadventures of the Turkeys in their efforts to get a presidential decree taking “Turkey” out of the menu for Thanksgiving.

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