Story of Faith, Hope & Charity

In this time of uncertainty all over the world, I’m amazed – and I’m sure you, too – by the serenity (not to be mistaken for resignation) and cool composure of Rio Diaz who, as everybody knows, continues her long-drawn battle with cancer these past three years, unwavering even when she lost every strand of her hair during her chemotherapy in a San Francisco (California) hospital, safe and secure in the thought that God will never, never forsake her.

Rio’s story has been a constant source of inspiration – and encouragement – not only to people afflicted with the Big C but to most everybody, especially those who have faith in The Great Healer (most doctors I know have that kind of faith, knowing fully where or from Whom their gift of healing comes from). It’s a story of faith, hope and charity, fit to be told – and retold – as we embark on another new year.

A bit of backgrounder: Rio was diagnosed to have cancer in the later part of 1998. She went to San Francisco in December that year for surgery, coming back in June, 1999. April of the following year (2000), she went back to San Francisco for another surgery, undergoing another round of chemotherapy starting in July the same year, ending in January, 2001. She came back in May to help campaign for her husband, Charlie Cojuangco, who ran for Congressman of Negros Occidental. She has been going back and forth since then, returning home late last year to spend the holidays with both the Diazes and the Cojuangcos.

Last Friday, barely 10 hours before she took a PAL flight to San Francisco for her third round of chemotherapy, Rio was treated to a despedida lunch by her sisters and brothers, together with the Diaz matriarch Teresa, at Rio’s Ate Gloria’s home in San Lorenzo Village, Makati City. The STAR was there for an exclusive coverage of the rare family reunion.

When photographer Richard Chen submitted the pictures, he enclosed a letter Rio wrote to me, excerpts of which I am, as usual, sharing with STAR readers. Here it is:

Being able to greet you a Happy New Year is indeed a blessing. Last year has been most rewarding and although the storms continue to rage on, whole heartedly I can say . . . my life is a gift from God. Everyday he sends people in my life to encourage me through prayers and words that leave me so grateful and humbled. What would my life be without the grace of God?

I am leaving. I have to start immediately my third round of chemotherapy. With what is set before me and knowing that the coming events of my life are too difficult to endure on my own – I FOCUS ON THE POWER OF GOD WHICH IS THE SOURCE OF MY STRENGTH. I have handed it over to my heavenly Father, all my burdens and all my worries. I have realized it’s useless to worry about tomorrow!

In closing, let me share my prayer with you:

Lord, thank you for forgiving me, thank you for taking away the burden of my sin and if I can trust You with the burden. . . I know I can trust You with all my other burdens that have come in my heart, Lord Jesus I give them to You, I commit them to You, I rest in the truth that You are able to do above and beyond all that I ask or think Father I confess that at times everything seems to be all right. And then the problems and cares of this world, Lord, the burdens of the many trials just overwhelm me. Thank You for reminding me that I don’t have to go through life alone. May You be glorified in my life Lord. . . NO MATTER WHAT IN JESUS NAME I PRAY — AMEN.

Love you mucho,

RIO

Following is my Conversation with Rio who is facing yet another challenging stage of her battle with cancer:

Why do you have to keep coming and going?

"I’m supposed to be undergoing just check-up. But what happened was that the doctor said I would have to start having treatment. In the past check-ups, immediately after my first operation, they didn’t find any sign of cancer – until last year when they found something na. Before siguro, the signs were so small and they couldn’t be detected."

This time around, you’re going back for. . .

". . .for chemotherapy, starting on Wednesday, Jan. 9. My cancer has been found to be somewhere else. . . I mean, not where it was first found. It’s now in my liver. They found something in my liver. I’m going to have two more treatments."

And how long are you staying there this time?

"From what I know, siguro another six months. I’m hoping it’s only six months."

It has become routine, sort of. How do you feel about this coming and going? You know, now you’re well and then you’re sick again.

"It’s a tall order on my body talaga. It has been very difficult for me physically. I don’t even know how to describe the whole experience. But I understand fully well why God allows me to go through all this. God has a reason. But I never complain. As I’ve been saying, I never asked, ‘Lord, why me?’ I simply said, ‘Thy will be done!’ In October last year, I went through all the cancer tests, except siguro the test for prostate cancer, and I could feel that my body was bugbog-sarado talaga. It got to a point when I could feel my body giving up. I was so exhausted. But the doctors didn’t find anything. But I was really, really tired. Very tired."

You still look and sound cheerful through it all. How do you keep your spirit up?

"I concentrate on the Lord."

How do you look at life now (three years after you were diagnosed to have cancer)?

"Positively. Every single day is a blessing. I appreciate every moment of every day even more."

Haven’t you ever thought of, well, giving up?

"I don’t want to ever give up, not even at times when my body isn’t responding well to the treatment. You see, my body is not as flexible as it used to be. . . not as young as it used or it wants to be. . . that’s true. . . but I’m still grateful for the time the Lord allows me to spend with my family, with my loved ones."

Besides having strong faith, what other lessons are you learning from this experience?

"You know, there’s this book that I’ve been reading lately. It’s called The Prayer of Jabez. In sum, the book is teaching you to say, ‘Lord, bless me. . .’ Because you know, as I’ve been saying, everything is a blessing. That’s the only way I can look at things – that every day is a blessing. The quality of (my) life is still very good, in spite of my illness. I enjoy every day to the fullest; not a moment is wasted. My total outlook is even better now. . . except that my body doesn’t cooperate sometimes."

What do you mean. . . the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak?

"Not really that way. But I could feel it – that my body sometimes isn’t cooperating. You know what I mean. Something what constantly surprises me is the way people react when they see me. They’d say, ‘Oh, I heard you’re in bad shape. But you look so good naman pala!’ Even that is a gift from God – you know, that I can look good physically, even if I’ve been through a lot."

How do you usually start your day? And how do you end it?

"I start my day by knowing what God’s purpose is for me. I always say a prayer as soon as I wake up, ‘Lord, bless me and help me to get to know You more.’ The Lord has allowed me to meet and talk to people who are also suffering (from cancer) like me and to console them in every way I can. (When Rio learned that Mar d’Guzman Cruz’s daughter Love was suffering from leukemia, she paid Love a surprise visit and talked to her for more than two hours. – RFL) When I see and talk to them, I try to encourage them but at the same time, I draw encouragement from them."

What’s the last thing on your mind before you go to sleep?

"I tell the Lord, ‘Thank you for the time You allow me to spend with my husband and my children.’ I always end the day also by asking the Lord for forgiveness for whatever offense, no matter how small, I might have caused other people maybe unwittingly."

What’s the first thing that you do upon waking up?

"I’m such an organized person, so the night before I already know exactly what I’m gonna do the next day, God permitting. I always tell the Lord, ‘Please orchestrate my day because You know how much my body can take.’ I do suffer from physical pain sometimes but I just ask the Lord to give me strength. I let the Lord direct my life."

Aren’t you taking any pain killers?

"No, I’m not."

What do you tell your kids, especially the small ones (Claudia, 6, and Jaime, 4) over and over again? You know, reminders.

"Well, I just told them, ‘Mama has to go back because she needs more treatment.’ Claudia would say, ‘Mama, when will this end?’ I tell her, ‘You know, no matter what, the fact that God lets me have more treatment is something to be grateful for. That alone is grace. I don’t know when it’s gonna end. But I’m just glad that you’re with me.’ And then Jaime would say, ‘Mama, wherever you go, wherever you are, I want to be with you.’ I just found out from somebody recently that Claudia approached her, saying, ‘Please pray for my Mama, okay? But keep it a secret between you and me.’ And everytime Claudia sees this person, she would remind her, ‘You remember our secret, right? Keep on praying because Mama has to go back to the States for more treatment.’ Claudia doesn’t know that I already know the ‘secret’."

What about your sisters? What do you tell them?

"I try to encourage them. They’re all so sad for me. I’d tell them, ‘Look, I save my encouragement for people who are undertaking the same journey that I am.’ I always remind them that I just follow the four instructions of God, namely, 1) TRUST IN HIM, 2) LIE IN HIM, 3) COMMIT IT ALL TO HIM, and 4) REST WITH HIM."

What about Charlie? What do you tell him?

"Well, I’ve been telling him that, if and when, I want him to get married again. . .Find somebody who is Christ-centered. He would tell me, ‘I don’t want to talk about it.’ And I’d tell him, ‘When are we going to talk about it?’ There are other things that I discuss with him. I tell him, ‘You know, when I’m very sick already and when I’m nearing my time, if it’s really cancer which the Lord is using as an instrument for me to be with Him, I really don’t like visitors.’ Why? You see, I’ve noticed that a lot of people who come and visit become sad to see their (sick) friend looking so thin."

You don’t like people taking pity on you, is that so?

"Oh, please, ayoko! I don’t want to be pitied, I’ve never liked it. I got this strong character from my mother, I guess. You know, please don’t pity me; but pray for me. And that’s what a lot of people are doing, thank God. Praying for me. When I get really, really sick, I want an extra room where there’s a video of me there, telling visitors to go ahead and have fun. But, please, I repeat, please don’t pity me. I won’t encourage people to come and see me looking more sick than I am. I’d rather that people pray for me, pray with me. I don’t like to hear people saying, ‘Ay, kawawa naman si Rio.’ The Lord is with me, I know, so I don’t think I’m kawawa."

What’s on your mind everytime you undergo chemotherapy?

"I tell myself, ‘Why worry about tomorrow?’ Worrying would only give me indigestion; I would only lose precious sleep worrying. I never worry about anything. I only focus on one thought: My God is whole and is in full control of my life. He’s a God who doesn’t make mistakes, a God who promises never to forsake me. So why worry?"

I know you to be so spiritual from way back, even before your battle with the Big C, that you’ve never been attached to things material. . .

"You know what? When I think that I’m gonna stay long in this cage, I keep making bawas and bawas the things I have and there’s hardly anything left anymore. But I’m happy. I’m bringing with me only one bag containing clothes that I need. I don’t have many (material) things. My real treasures are my husband, my children, my families (the Diazes and the Cojuangcos)."

You value life now more than ever before, I suppose. What should you have avoided?

"I can’t live with any kind of regret. I have no regrets. While I still have the time, I want to reach out to more people. With my kids, if they’re deeply-rooted in the words of the Lord, then no matter what, even if I die today, okay na sila, as long as they love God and they know that God will never fail them."

You’re not afraid of any, well, eventuality, I could see that.

"We cancer patients, most of us anyway, aren’t afraid of dying. But if we are constantly reminded of our limited time, as I’ve been saying, every moment becomes precious so you savor every moment of your life. You appreciate life more and value things that you take for granted when you’re strong and healthy."

How do you prepare for any, well, eventuality? Everybody is going the same way: there’s no exception.

"Well, unahan lang ’yon. Some go sooner, others go later. How do I prepare for any ‘eventuality’? Well, I guess that so far, I’ve prepared not only myself but my family. Come to think of it, I don’t think you can ever prepare (especially) your loved ones well enough. I guess the way I prepare them is to constantly remind them that the clock is always ticking and they, everybody for that matter, should put their priorities in order and put their hearts in them."

You’ll be 35,000 feet high tomorrow. When you look down from the plane’s window, what do you usually think?

"Even when I’m just flying from Bacolod to Manila, and back, I look out of the window and I see all the beautiful creation of God down below. It’s incredible! One early morning flight to Bacolod, I actually saw the dawn breaking. It was awesome! The sun was coming out from behind the clouds and it was such a beautiful sight!"

By the way, how did you and Charlie spend Christmas?

"We spent Christmas with both the Diazes and the Cojuangcos (in Bacolod)."

What was the best Christmas gift that you received?

"Well, my sisters gave me a charm bracelet. Each one of them put a charm on it. One was a fish, from Coroy who said, ‘Continue being a fisher of men.’ Georgie sent me a little angel with the words ‘Watch over her.’ Ruby sent me a card, with a note that read, ‘This is my heart and I wanna give you whatever I have in my heart. I’ll be there for you always.’ Glory sent me a little gold bullion, with a note that read, ‘I want to give you all my worldly wealth. . . just get well.’ My niece gave a shoe with a note that read, ‘Thank you for stepping into my life.’ And my son, Jaime, sent me a very, very small cellular phone, saying, ‘Just remember, Mama, that wherever you are, I’m just a phone call away so that I can tell you how much I love you!’"