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Opinion

Shooing stilettos

LOOKING ASKANCE - Joseph T. Gonzales - The Freeman

Is it the death knell for high heels?

In a blow to stilettos nationwide, the Department of Labor has issued a new department order practically banning high heels at work. Employers now have to implement the rule that footwear for their employees must be "practical and comfortable.”  Shoes must be "well-fitted" and "non-slipping; provide adequate cushion and support" and most importantly, must either be flat or with heels, but no higher than one inch.

One inch! For the size queens out there (I mean in terms of heels, of course), this must be disastrous.

Analyzing the order, it seems as if our labor officials seem to have failed to grasp all possible permutations of the application of this order. For example, the order says all employers are covered in order to address the health and safety "concerns related to the wearing of high-heeled female shoes.”

 What if the safety concern is related to the wearing of high-heeled male shoes? Does that mean it's not covered by this order? What if the employer is psycho and wants all his male employees to wear six-inch male shoes as a sadistic prank? Can he claim he is exempt from this order?

In terms of coverage, the order says it only applies to workers "who by the nature of their work have to stand for long periods of time or are frequently required to walk.”  Then the order gives several examples, such as retail or service employees, assembly line workers, teachers, and security guards.

So, that tells us that if the nature of the work of the employee doesn't require much standing or walking, then the order shouldn't apply.  But what are those jobs exactly?  What about regular office workers who, in fact, sit on their butts the whole day and only stand up to chitchat at the office cooler or run to the loo? Can the employer require them to wear heels?

Note that "long periods of time" or "frequent" are standards that have yet to be defined.  The order doesn't tell us what these terms mean. If a boss asks an employee to walk to a client for only half an hour every day, is that frequent already?

What if it's a shoe designer asking a shoe model to walk in his high-heeled designs? Of course it would be ridiculous to ban the models from wearing the stilettos that are practically works of art, but then with the world as topsy-turvy nowadays, one never knows. Some model might get it into her slightly knowledgeable head that she has labor rights and then sue the designer for violating her occupational safety rights.

What about flight attendants who sit and stand almost equally?  Would that be frequent? Or would frequency depend not on length of time, but by counting? Five times an hour? Twenty times a day?

This almost reminds me of how even in the modeling industry, there are now standards sought to be enforced to avoid the tragedy of young models starving themselves to death or acquiring diseases such as bulimia. Louis Vuitton is trying to ask fellow brands to rally around regulations that require models to be at least at certain weight or a certain age before being hired for their shows. No more anorexic beauties!

To be sure, more clarity will come forth from the labor department. Meanwhile, it's still too early to hold a stiletto funeral.

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