Love is not much about getting, but much more about giving, It is not just about taking something but, most of all, serving the one who is truly beloved. And so, what do you give up when you fall in love? Many, almost all, even those that are most precious to you.You give, above all things, time, attention, efforts and focus. It is giving commitment, unconditional commitment. You cannot say "I love you" and then forget all about it. The first indicium of love is sincerity. When you love someone, you have to show sincerity. And there is no sincerity if the actions do not match the words. The best evidence of love is action. No ifs, no buts. Words are just empty promises. Only actions make love real. Love is truly long and hard work.
The next indicator of love is selflessness. Only he or she who is prepared to to make multiple and really hard sacrifices can truly love somebody. He/she who truly loves can and will forego his or her interests, wants, and pleasures. He/she is willing and able to pursue the well-being, satisfaction, success and happiness of the beloved. Thus, self-centered people, those who are consumed by too much selfishness, are incapable of loving others because they are usually overflowing with their own egos. Only the humble, the truly humble, can express authentic and genuine love.
The third manifestation of love is patience. Anyone and everyone who loves in a real way has perseverance, the ability and willingness to wait, to keep his or her peace amidst the raging turbulence of the beloved's feelings. The one who genuinely loves does have that degree of tolerance, the ability and willingness to accept the many imperfections and deficiencies of the one who is beloved. He/she forgives not only seven times, but seventy multiplied seven times, or ad infinitum. A lover should also have acceptance of the beloved, with all the defects, the errors and mistakes, and yes, hating the sins but continuing to love, to honor and to accept the sinner.
When you decide to love, you give up your pride, set aside your own pains and disregard your own hurts and disappointments.For pride is often the killer of love. Pride is often the poison that makes love impossible to survive, not to mention, to grow. You were the one who suffered, you were the one who was inflicted with some form of unfairness, even cruelty. But since there is so much love in you, you are able to rise up and move on. No, love is not about being "martir" or "tanga." It is instead a firm decision to master your feelings and prove that your will is much, much stronger than your emotions.
When you love, when you truly love, you can easily forget the scars of the past and even do not mind the threats of the future. You just focus on the here and the now, the magic of the moments when you are in the presence of your beloved. When you have a true and unadulterated and pure love, you refuse to carry the burdens of past regrets and frustrations. You empty yourself of the many it-should-have-beens and just focus on the ecstasy of the present. And you refuse to be vexed or distracted by the many what ifs that hover in the immediate future.The power of love makes you conscious of the magic of the moment.
You give up many things when you decide to love someone. Because when you are too full of life's many preoccupations with momentary pleasures and possessions, then you will not have enough space to accept the many joys that loving others could enrich yourself with. That is the greatest mystery of loving, the fact that the more things you're willing to give up, the more happiness comes and possesses your whole being. That then is the real meaning of life -- to love someone and never expect anything in return. For the act of loving is itself the return. The act of loving is itself its own reward.