Stop Clinging to Things

LIFE'S ESSENCE - Katherine R. Oyson (The Freeman) - January 29, 2020 - 12:00am

Monk Thich Nhat Hanh says, “At any moment, you have the choice that either leads you closer to your spirit or further away from it. Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our heart we still cling to anything – anger, anxiety, or possessions, we cannot be free.”

I remember one time after a party and we called it a night, I asked the host whether she and her husband felt lonely considering that their grownup children were all married, and their house became an empty nest. Without battling an eyelash, she answered, “Life has its season. We too left our mother’s nest. There are times, though, that I miss those moments wherein my children were still growing up, their presence gave light and love in our home. But there’s nothing I can do but surrender to the seasons of life. My consolation is that they have a good life. Their visits to us on regular basis, especially on special occasions with our grandchildren, are something that we always look forward to. Spiritually I’m always with them because I am their prayer warrior.”

I have learned in life that too much attachment to people and circumstances would create fear, insecurities, anxiety and other negative emotions in our inner being. Expectations on them are also a hindrance to live our life fearlessly and live a joyful life. I realized that fervent prayer daily gives us the grace to lift up our loved ones to the Lord and entrust Him to take care of them. I also realized that our perspective with uncomfortable situations and challenges can also be changed thru our prayers.


Mateo Sol of Lonerwolf website quotes the Dalai Lama as saying, “Attachment is the origin, the root of suffering; hence, it is the cause of suffering. We don’t have to sell everything we own and become monks or nuns to practice non-attachment. We simply need to understand the vital importance of letting go.”

Sol enumerates the benefits to reap from non-attachment:

• You will stop being controlled by your emotions.

• You won’t be attached to the outcome. Meaning that you’ll be free from dread, anxiety, and inner tension that come with clinging expectations.

• You’ll be more curious, open and spontaneous because you have no predetermined desire or craving.

• You’ll be more peaceful and less neurotic. Meaning that your relationships and friendships will drastically improve.

• You’ll feel consistently relaxed and serene because you’re not identifying with your thoughts and feelings.

• You’ll be more resilient in the face of loss and death because you’re not attached to people and realize that all things are ephemeral.

• You’ll feel a sense of expansive freedom because you’re no longer a slave to your mind.

• You’ll feel a sense of wholeness because you don’t need or want anything in particular. You’re happy just as you are in the present moment.

• You’ll feel more love for yourself and others because you’re not attaching to beliefs and expectations about who you or others should be or what shouldn’t happen. You’ll give yourself and other people freedom to be themselves without judgment.

 • You’ll experience more synchronicity as life unfolds effortlessly and naturally.

 • You’ll no longer be addicted to getting things or filling and empty hole in yourself because you’re content and you don’t attach to the belief that someone or something will complete you.

• You’ll feel more grounded and connected to life because you’re not lost in thought on attachment.

• Your mind will become clear and you’ll be able to perceive the truth more easily.

• You’ll feel gratitude, love, compassion, and happiness permeate your life as you have to let go of the need to chase happiness which creates unhappiness.

Sol advises: “Put non-resistance and non-judgment together with non-attachment, and you have a recipe for complete inner peace. When we stop resisting life and judging things to be good, we naturally let go of a lot of anger, hatred, fear, and sadness.


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