Resolving a Family Feud
LIFE'S ESSENCE - Katherine R. Oyson (The Freeman) - September 15, 2019 - 12:00am

A man was admitted to the hospital due to difficulty in breathing. Upon being wheeled into his room, he requested his nurse to call his daughter whom he had not seen for years and were not in talking terms with. When they nurse called the daughter, she begged the nurse to let her father wait for her. She said, “The last time I saw him, it was when I told him that I hated him because he didn’t like my boyfriend. On that day, I left the house and we never saw each other again.” … When the daughter arrived in the hospital, the nurse with a forlorn look told her that her father had just passed away.

This is truly a sad story. Do we want to experience this kind of scenario because of our pride, and later fill our heart with regrets for failing to do the thing that we could have done? In the Bible, Matthew 5:23-24 reminds us: “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled with your brother, and then come and offer your gift.”

Let not our ego stand in the way in mending family relationship. Let’s not wait for tomorrow for it might never come. The tomorrow is not a promise to anyone. Let us do it now. Let us swallow our pride for the good of our soul and let peace reign in our hearts, and in our family. Mending and healing family feud is the best gift that we can offer to the Lord. After all, our stay in this world is only temporary. We are just passing through, and are travelers here. Let’s do it now – mending and healing broken relationship in the family.

If you have not been able to forgive, forget or even speak to a relative because of a disagreement, consider these tips from Dr. Phil at Huffpost website:

• Step into the other person’s shoes. No matter how flat a pancake, so to speak, it’s still got two sides. Try to see the other person’s side of the story and make an effort to understand why he acted the way he did.  Try not to judge; instead look at the situation from a bird’s eye view.  Conversely, examine your role in the feud. Are you innocent as you claim? Ask yourself what you did to contribute to the problem. Did you say something hurtful? Did you promise something and you did not stick to your words? Keep in mind that the other person has some points that you need to weigh and consider.

• Consider the effects on the rest of the family. Are there other family members or children caught in the middle?  Think of the unnecessary stress you may be putting on them. Don’t they deserve the peace of mind that comes from knowing that their family is unified and intact? Or, if you’re at odds with your parents, how is that impacting your other siblings? It’s not all about you; you’re part of a larger family unit.

• Choose to forgive. Forgiveness is a choice. Don’t wait for a feeling of forgiveness to wash over you suddenly; you have to choose it. Holding onto a grudge will only eat you up inside and cause more family rifts.  The past is over. The future hasn’t happened yet. The only time is right now.

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