CEBU, Philippines – As the noise of the holidays dissipates, the condition in the family returns to normal. Parents turn their thoughts from their kids' wish lists to their own plans for the year just beginning. With some parents, the planning may have had actually started days before the New Year.
But the New Year itself is not a deadline for making resolutions to apply for a fresh new start. The setting of resolutions can be done during the first few days of the year - and it can be made a family matter. It might not be nice that kids just watch Mom and Dad set grand goals that, more often than not, are never reached.
In fact, according to www.today.com, experts propose a better way for self-improvement in the unfolding year - making New Year's resolutions together as a family.
Family resolutions, the website states, is a growing trend among parenting bloggers, and can be both a bonding experience for families and a way for parents to teach their kids that life is about setting goals, recovering from setbacks and celebrating victories along the way.
Family resolutions can be beneficial, since there's strength in numbers. When everyone in the family commits to a resolution - such as eating better, limiting TV or computer time, or exercising more - they have automatic reinforcements and are more likely to succeed as a team.
So how do parents convince their kids to commit and get them excited about it? Those who've experienced success with family New Year's resolutions share the following tips, on www.today.com, for a beautiful change in 2014.
Keep it simple.
In order to share a positive experience, focus on resolutions that are achievable and simple, said Dr. Laura Jana, an author and pediatrician, who makes yearly family resolutions with her husband and children. "Picking an unrealistic goal serves to make you feel bad about yourself, whereas a New Year's resolution that is meant to be life-enhancing and long-lasting can be great for your family."
The key to a successful resolution is framing it positively, according to author Paul Tough of "How Children Succeed," not as a matter of self-sacrifice and denial. "Instead of a resolution like 'No desserts in 2014,' a family might choose something more attainable like 'Eat healthier in 2014,'" he said.
Include kids in the process.
Another key to successful family goal-setting is to listen to everyone before coming up with a plan, said Sara Tetreault, a frugal-living blogger. Tetreault has been successfully making New Year's resolutions with her family for 10 years, and said a key to her family's success has been getting everyone to take group ownership of the plan.
"Resolutions are about breaking a bad habit or creating a new one," said Tetreault. "In order to do either successfully, you have to market it to your kids and get their buy-in. Instead of saying, 'OK, the parents have decided this,' we say, 'Let's think about how we can improve ourselves and spend more time together as a family in the process.'"
In addition to a family resolution being something the family decides on together, Tough adds that parents should be cautious of using a resolution as a smokescreen to get their kids to stop doing something - such as playing video games or texting at the table.
Celebrate milestones and achievements.
Taking the time out to acknowledge successes throughout the year is an important way to motivate your kids to carry on, said Jennie Lyon, a sustainable living blogger.
Lyon and her family resolved to spend time outside every day in 2013 - whether visiting the beach, walking the dog, or sipping cocoa on their back porch - and plan to celebrate their successes with an end-of-year camping trip.
"Choose resolutions that you can make fun, and then focus on the fun more than the task itself," said Lyon. "Resolutions can be a great way to say, 'Here are some areas of our life we can improve on,' and to celebrate your family when you do!"
Families should also put strategies in place to help them handle the occasional setback or misstep, Tough suggests.
"One of the reasons people break resolutions is that they don't anticipate the moments where sticking with the resolution is going to be especially difficult," said Tough, "Talking those over in advance as a family will be helpful - and it will help if the family can come up with strategies to get through those tough moments, so that they can celebrate their overall success at the end of the year."
A family resolution should involve a shared commitment. If some sacrifice is involved, that needs to be shared as well, says Paul Tough. While it may not be easy convincing the kids to join in, it helps to phrase the resolution positively. In the planning stage, children should be encouraged to contribute ideas and suggestions, so that they feel as much of a sense of ownership over the resolution as their parents.