Between scrupulosity and laxity
We have to do our best to have the right conscience which is where we can hear the voice of God who guides us through life. We should not just depend on our own light, no matter how brilliant and smart we think we are. We have to realize that God is always guiding us with the Holy Spirit’s constant promptings that we should learn to discern quickly and correctly.
Simply relying on our own estimation of things will most likely lead us to fall into some extreme cases of scrupulosity on the one hand, or laxity on the other. Both extreme cases are clear signs we haven’t understood the promptings of God, or worse, that we have ignored him completely.
To have a scrupulous conscience is to be too severe or unduly strict with ourselves as a result of our misinterpretation of what is true, right, and moral as taught and shown by Christ, and now taught by the Church. It is to be too focused on our weaknesses and sinfulness that we miss the all-powerful mercy of God.
To be scrupulous is to have a perfectionist attitude, overly sensitive to the unavoidable weaknesses and mistakes of people in general, including himself. A scrupulous person is usually rigid in his character, often afflicted with the obsessive-compulsive disorder, and with a strong urge to control others and things in general. This makes him uptight, overthinking, and overreacting most of the time.
He usually gets stuck with the letter of the law while missing the spirit of the law. He can be very judgmental as he projects his own fears, doubts, limitations, and weaknesses on others. He finds it hard to deal with others as they are. He wants them to be like him.
A lax person is quite the opposite. He may appear to be carefree, but knows his life is quite empty and that it is simply following the ebb and flow of his emotions and moods. He is quite shallow and merely reactive to the different events of his life. We cannot expect him to have a long-term plan, or any plan at all.
Regarding his religiosity, he tends to unduly rely on God’s mercy without giving importance to the effort made to correspond to God’s love. He is quite presumptuous in this regard. He forgets that while God is always merciful, he wants us always to “enter by the narrow gate.” (cfr. Mt 7,13)
He often cherry-picks only those parts of Christian life that are convenient to him. Like the scrupulous person, he is quite self-centered also. He is mostly indifferent to other’s affairs and concerns. The worst scenario is when he loses the sense of sin.
If ever they come to a lax person’s mind, the promises, vows and commitments are usually not taken seriously. They may be good and hot at the beginning, but they cannot maintain that state for long. As they say, they are good only at the start. They only give the appearance of fulfilling their promises but their heart is not in them.
We have to try our best to stay away from these two extremes. God is always merciful but he wants us also to do our part, because we are supposed to be like him. He only wants what’s good for us, but he does not impose it on us. We have to accept it freely, lovingly, and act accordingly.
To do the right thing, we must have a personal, intimate relationship with God, studying the doctrine of faith and morals, developing virtues, engaging in a lifelong ascetical struggle, availing of sacraments like confession and Holy Communion, having spiritual direction, etc.
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