They’re not old, they’re OG. While I consider recent high school graduate Tavi Genvinson one of my life pegs, on the other end of the spectrum, there are these ladies — all over 40 and all equally deserving of the amount of time I spend stalking them on the Internet. From fashion pegs to fitspirations to ever-reliable sources of wit and wisdom to get me through less than stellar days (and we all have those), these five women, put together, comprise my dream self. I just hope, for my sake, I’ll only be five percent Mariah — just a sprinkling of “elusive chanteuse†vibes goes a long way.
Jenna Lyons, 42
This J. Crew queen bee seems like a character straight out of Girls (and at some point, she was), except she is real and everybody loves her. She’s done many candid interviews — in one she admits to having worn dentures since she was a kid — and has more than once been referred to as the coolest thing to happen to fashion since Anna Wintour. I particularly love those inspiring bits of wisdom she unwittingly dispenses in interviews. My top three: 1) Advice she would give her teenage self: “That popular girls don’t stay popular.†2) “There’s this idea that everybody has to have everything right away. But you have to let the slow burn happen. I wasn’t the superstar. I had to work for it. Really long hours.†3) “A giant shirt is not cute. If it feels overly comfortable, it probably doesn’t look good. We don’t need you to be perfect. What we do need is for you to look a little bit more pulled-together.†Noted, Jenna.
Tilda Swinton, 53
If anyone can pull off being an ageless vampire and hang with an Asgardian god in Only Lovers Left Alive, it is shapeshifting androgyne Tilda Swinton. Whether as Angel Gabriel (Constantine), or alongside David Bowie in The Stars (Are Out Tonight), or as a sleeping, live work of art at MoMa, Tilda brings it — taking her signature slouch and enviable wardrobe (Haider Ackermann, Lanvin, Céline, Jil Sander) with her everywhere she goes. And though she’s over 50, she’s not one of those women we see on those “Women Who Don’t Look Their Age†lists, because she’s morphed into so many things that if she suddenly transformed into an elderly lady (like she did in Wes Anderson’s The Grand Budapest Hotel), we know she still wouldn’t disappoint.
Kim Gordon, 61
I don’t care what anybody says, I think what she did with Aneurysm when she sang with Nirvana at the band’s induction to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame would make Kurt grunt with pride. Lorde and St. Vincent really didn’t stand a chance against Kim’s grit and moves. She has a legacy of her own — Sonic Freaking Youth — and she’s survived both breast cancer (a noninvasive kind) and a divorce, and last year she had an exhibit of her paintings at White Columns in New York, which included a painting of a tweet by Lena Dunham, and her band, Body/Head. She also appeared in the premiere of the third season of Girls. In an interview with Rookie mag, she said on songwriting, “I felt like there were so many experiences as a woman that you can write about that had not been written about — rather than conventional relationship songs.†True that. Kim’s voice of my sonic youth and even Lorde’s generation agrees.
Robin Wright, 48
She played a cougar in Adore and plays an ambitious, morally-ambiguous politician’s wife in House of Cards — both roles required her to strip down to her underwear and show off her depressingly toned body. She reportedly had to go on a strict diet with partner Ben Foster, when he was preparing for the role of Lance Armstrong in an upcoming biopic. She runs, lifts weights, loves Zumba and does yoga, but in an interview with Us magazine, she revealed: “To prepare to play Claire on House of Cards, I just put on the Spanx and off we go!†She’s also admitted to getting tiny doses of Botox here and there, but who cares? She’s 48 and hotter than Selena Gomez.
Mariah Carey, 44
How dare I put Kim Gordon and Mariah Carey in the same article! There, I said it. Now that that’s over with, let me point out that these two actually have something in common: audacity. To come out with an album called “Me. I Am Mariah… The Elusive Chanteuse†is a brave, inexplicable thing. Every critic and their mother are calling it the worst album title of all time. It turns out the first half of it came from a drawing she made when she was three years old (and it’s also the album cover). The second half? Just stating a fact. The woman is unpredictable but if you look past the skin-tight sequined gowns and occasional booty shorts, you just might find a visionary — she is after all still the same woman who came out with “Butterfly.†And how she keeps putting out album after album and dressing however she wants, not caring what other people might think is fabulous.