I could not believe that the girl he set me up with, who, by the way, dressed like an over-the-hill hippie, could order so much food at a pricey restaurant, barely eat a third of it all, and not even offer to pay a single cent. Now that’s rich. I was so livid that my hands were shaking over the wheel as I tried to maneuver the vehicle out of the dimly lit village at a muddy road where her house stood.
It started out pretty well, I think. After withdrawing my life savings of two thousand pesos, I reserved a table at a bar as recommended by my bastard friend. We immediately hit it off when we "accidentally" ordered the lobster bisque together. She ate a spoonful of the darn thing and set it aside, carefully instructing the waiter not to take it away even when the entrees and main courses arrived. I just smiled at first, thinking that she just wanted all her meals together before she dug in.
"I’ll have the baked mozzarella and blue cheese sticks, rib-eye steak, yung medyo rare ha, isang mashed potato, and siguro apple pie with whipped cream na lang for dessert. I’m on a diet, eh," she said matter-of-factly.
"Drinks nyo po, ma’am?" the waiter asked her, who parenthetically seemed very pleased with her choices.
"Vodka Ice."
"Yun lang, ma’am?"
I wanted to bust the waiter’s head right there and gave him a dirty look.
"Uh, Evian mineral water na rin, " she added, almost as an afterthought.
"Ibang klase ka rin mag-diet, ano?" I joked.
I opened the menu and studied the prices of the food with horror. I was trying to decide whether to have the cheap pumpernickel bread or the side salad. I chose the latter – much to the disappointment of the waiter. I would have actually loved to have the Cajun catfish, but I was already at my wit’s end on how to explain to my date we would be washing dishes if the bill came to more than two thousand pesos. I prayed to Zeus that the girl would insist on paying her share. She proudly chatted about her job as a call center representative and how she turned down many invitations from co-workers to go out – claiming that she only agreed to this date because our bastard friend set it up. I smiled intently as the waiter reappeared with food and drinks. I curiously watched as she had everything served to her at once. It was embarrassing. Even if all I ordered was the salad, we still looked like pathetic hosts who threw a dinner party at a restaurant and none of our guests showed up.
"Nice to see you have a good appetite," I said while thoughtlessly nibbling on a dinner roll (I was starting to get nervous about the amount of the bill).
"Ay! He he! Medyo madami pala ito. Takaw-tingin kasi ako minsan, eh."
I probably wouldn’t have minded it very much if she tried her best to finish some of the stuff she ordered, but the girl, after taking a few bites of this and that, said that she "was done". Really now, if it wasn’t such a crummy site, I would have eaten her leftovers. Oh sure, the side salad was superb but it barely satisfied my hunger pangs. I asked if she wanted a doggy bag.
"No way, noh! Ang cheap ko tingnan pag pinabalot ko yan!" she laughed.
"May dessert ka pa na darating. Yung apple pie."
"Ayoko na nga, Matthew."
"Ha!? Ang arte mo naman. Pabalot mo na lang lahat yan. Sayang, eh," I said, starting to sound annoyed with her antics.
"Eh ‘di ikaw mag-uwi. Sabi ko ngang ayoko, eh. Mapilit ka rin noh!"
I shook my head and counted to ten because I would have exploded if I didn’t. I recklessly called for the bill, not because I was in any particular hurry, but just like anyone who wanted to cut a date short I preferred to spend the rest of the night fuming mad – alone. The maître d’ arrived carrying that familiar black leather case and handed it over.
Before I could see the amount, however, my date lunged forward and snatched the case away from me. I smiled with premature relief and thanked the stars that she was adamant about paying her way, only to find that her handing me back the bill with nothing in it.
"Mura na rin, noh? Wala pa siyang two thousand. Bayaran mo na kaagad kasi medyo late na rin, eh," she said.
"Yes, ma‚am," I replied, almost sarcastically.
A smartly dressed woman came back with my change and thanked us graciously (that was the least she could do). I wanted to scoop up what was left of my life savings, but my dad always told me to leave a tip so…
My date stood up from the table and walked across the restaurant and exited to the parking lot. She beat me to the car by about fifteen steps. We reached her home and before slamming the car door to my face, she said that although I was "fine to be around with" she wished that I had the decency to buy a bottle of red wine to go with her steak. That was the last time we ever spoke.
And although I took my bastard friend’s insistence that the girl was "really nice deep-down" and I understand now that she just fell a bit short in the fields of thoughtfulness and compassion, I’m still glad I didn’t say goodbye.