Marilou must be happily scuba-diving Up There

I must go down to the seas again, To the vagrant gypsy life, To the gull’s way and the whale’s way, Where the wind’s like a whetted knife; And all I ask is a merry yarn

From a laughing fellow-rover, And quiet sleep and a sweet dream  When the long trick’s over. — from Sea Fever by John Masefield

Where she is now, director Marilou Diaz-Abaya must be happily scuba-diving. Friends swear that she loved the sea — and how!

Gone too soon at 57, losing to cancer after a brave fight, Marilou was too weak (she was sedated) to shout “Cut!” when she packed up at 6:30 Monday night, Oct. 8, at the St. Lukes Medical Center (Global City).

Direk Marilou leaves behind a body of work that should be precious to film students

Between 1980 when, at 25 (born March 7, 1955), she did her first film Tanikala (with Susan Roces, Romeo Vasquez and the late Rita Gomez) and 2012 when, at 56, she did her last, Ikaw Ang Pag-Ibig (a tribute to Our Lady of Peñafrancia), Marilou scored a body of work that includes more than 20 films and half a dozen TV shows, documented by awards too many to have shelves to display them in.

She was passionate about grooming writers and directors and other aspirants (cinematographers, etc.) for the movie industry so she put up her own Marilou Diaz-Abaya Film Institute and Arts Center right across from Ateneo de Manila University on Katipunan Road, Quezon City, where she taught Film and where now her remains lie (at the Ateneo Chapel) until Friday, Oct. 12, when her body will be moved to the Jesuit Church (also at Ateneo). Burial will be on Saturday, Oct. 13, at Loyola Memorial Park in Parañaque City.

She’s survived by her husband, cinematographer Manolo Abaya, and sons singer-actor Marc and cinematographer David.

“Mom was being administered with pain-killers but the dosage was gradually reduced,” Marc told Funfare Update. “Since Thursday, she was slipping in and out of consciousness. I held her hand and asked how she was. She smiled and whispered, ‘I’m fine,’ before she closed her eyes again. When friends dropped by, she would open her eyes and acknowledge them with a smile. On Saturday, she tried to open her eyes and then close them. She never opened them again.”

Here’s how those who know her well remember Marilou with fondness and with a lump in their throats:

Vilma Santos: Marilou was one director na magaling mag-motivate ng artista. On the set, she made sure that the ambience was “family” because she treated everybody as her mga anak, from the stars to the crew. I will definitely miss her breakfast of pandesal with Spanish sardines when we were shooting Alyas Baby Tsina.

Cesar Montano: I have so many fond memories with direk Marilou and one stands out — that is, our scuba-diving experiences. It’s the sport closest to her heart and mine, too. Her diving buddy was my son Angelo. I know that they are back together in His Kingdom.

Margie Moran-Floirendo: Marilou was the director of Bagong Buwan, the film that I co-produced. I marveled at the thoroughness of her research on the roots of conflict and how she unfolded the story of the people’s struggle in the armed conflict in Mindanao. From then on, stemmed the roots of our personal relationship, of loves told and retold. Spending time with Marilou last month made me appreciate that God blesses us with time to put order in our lives, to love deeply those that matter and to pray so our mind is still and at peace and that in every living day, God fills us with newness.

Ricky Lee: Isang pelikulang nabanggit niya last August lang na gusto niya ituloy namin ‘yung One Last Cigarette Before I Go. Kasi si Marilou, pag ka-miting o kakuwentuhan mo, mahirap magpaalam. Lagi siyang one last cigarette. Kaka one cigarette umaabot magdamag. ‘Yung pelikula, kung saan si Eddie Garcia sana ang bida, ay tungkol sa isang old man who’s dying and wants to tie up the loose ends in his life. I was doing a book with Marilou before she died. Double memoirs naming dalawa. Tungkol sa collaborations namin sa pelikula at sa pagtuturo, and also about the ’80s in filmmaking.

Lorna Tolentino: I was pregnant with Ralph, my first son, when I was shooting Moral and Marilou took good care of me. When Ralph was seven years old and Renz, my second son, was five years old, Marilou taught them how to scuba-dive in her resort in Anilao, Batangas. Besides Moral, I did other movies with Marilou, including Kung Ako’y Iiwan Mo and May Nagmamahal Sa’yo. I also did a reading with her and Ricky Lee in UP. During (my husband) Rudy (Fernandez’s) wake, Marilou held my hands and never let them go. Her cancer was already in remission at that time. I’m sure nagkita na sila ni Rudy ngayon.

Chito Roño: Aside from inspiring me to be active in the original DGPI (Directors’ Guild of the Philippines, Inc.), Marilou also engaged me in endless talks about her Anilao hideaway. We got lost in time just sharing about having personal moments with nature. That inspired me so much that I bought a property in Biri, Northern Samar, my home province. Marilou loved the sea and built a rest house in Anilao. I followed her advice and did the same in Biri. Sadly, she was already sick when my rest house was finished. I never got to show it to her. She would have loved to dive there.

Gina Alajar: Marilou directed me in several films, including Moral, Brutal and Ipaglaban Mo. Marilou loved life; she was very passionate about her work, her sport, her school and her beliefs. Masarap siyang kausap on anything under the sun. So sad that she left so soon.

Malou Santos (of Star Cinema): Direk Marilou was a good friend and mentor for 30 years. My fondest memory of her is actually the little things that we did together. Like me, she loved to eat. We usually feasted on crabs while going over a lot of topics, from movies to books to TV to religion. Siya ang taong marami akong natutuhan, a person of wisdom, so maternal and so nurturing. I could run to her when I felt down, when things seemed to be not okay. Siya ang nagbibigay sa akin ng wisdom. She made me laugh. Her biggest contribution not only to me but to the entire industry is her tireless way of discovering young directors and writers, and encouraging them. She was always for the betterment and education of the young directors and writers. 

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