Julie rewrites lyrics of My Favorite Things

This Christmas, I’m giving away DVD copies of old movies to friends who are movie addicts like me. I’m not naming them here but they know who they are. To one of them (pssst, he doesn’t know!), I’m giving a copy of The Sound of Music (note: not pirated) because, like me, he loves that iconic movie and the star in it, Julie Andrews, whom I interviewed in L.A. in August 2004 for Princess Diaries in which she plays the Queen Grandmother (to Anne Hathaway who plays the princess).

At the round-table interview, I literally rubbed elbows with Julie because I was seated next to her. She was as regal and as lovable and as delightful as she is in The Sound of Music and I was amazed by her photographic memory, addressing by the first name all 10 of us “international journalists” at the table. She was queenly to her finger tips which were very dainty as she lifted her cup of tea for a sip every now and then, her speaking voice as musical as her singing voice which was ruined forever by a botched neck surgery that rendered her unable to hit the high notes that she used to. She sued the doctor and got paid millions in damages.

I told her, “I’m glad to know that your voice is back,” not having any idea that it totally was not.

“Well,” said Julie, her face turning a bit sad, “it isn’t really. It’s not that I really sing; I kind of talk the song more than sing it. I wouldn’t want the audience to think that I’m back singing again because I’m not.”

That’s why my heart bled when I was in London last May (for the Prince of Persia junket, starring Jake Gyllenhaal who’s reported to be the new squeeze of Taylor Swift) and I read the London papers giving Julie a big boo for not singing at what was supposed to be her “comeback” (was it?) concert and instead just talking mostly about the children’s book Dragon, Hound of Honor which she co-authored with her daughter Emma Watson Hamilton (a copy of which I’m enclosing in the DVD copy of The Sound of Music I’m giving to my friend). Julie’s fans should have been more considerate and understanding since Julie has never hidden the fact that, as she said, her voice is not as good as it was before and she didn’t want to “cheat” her audience.

Anyway, during that L.A. interview, I asked Julie if her grandchildren (she has a few) have seen any of her movies.

“They have, of course,” she broke into a wide smile. “Not all my movies, though. I have this little story about my grandchild who is four (now 10) years old. He saw Mary Poppins at a birthday party. His mother saw him standing in front of the screen looking very puzzled. She asked him, ‘Do you know that lady?’ And he whispered, ‘Yes.’ Is she somebody we know very well? And he whispered again, ‘Yes.’ Is she one of our family? And he whispered again, ‘Yes.’ Is she maybe Granny Julie? And he said aloud, ‘Oh yes, she is!’ I couldn’t stop telling and retelling that little story.”

And when she sees The Sound of Music again perhaps on DVD, how did she feel about it?

“Well,” said Julie, “I’m very proud to be a part of it. I’m the lucky lady who got asked to play this wonderful role in this wonderful film. I think I’m very lucky.”

She plays Maria, as the whole world knows. So when was the last time she saw the real Maria?

“A long time ago. She came to the set during the shooting of The Sound of Music. In fact, if you know how she looks like, you will recognize her in one scene in the movie, walking in the background. After that, I met Maria twice. But she has passed away since then.”

Why am I doing this nostalgic piece about The Sound of Music and Julie Andrews?

Well, a Funfare contributor (who didn’t give his name) reminded me that Julie turned 70 last Oct. 1 and to commemorate the milestone she made a special appearance at a benefit show at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall. One of the musical numbers Julie performed was My Favorite Things, one of the songs in The Sound of Music, but she sang it with entirely different lyrics.

Listen:

Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting,

Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings,

Bundles of magazines tied up in string,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Cadillac’s and cataracts, and hearing aids and glasses,

Polident and Fixodent and false teeth in glasses,

Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings,

These are a few of my favorite things..

When the pipes leak, when the bones creak,

When the knees go bad,

I simply remember my favorite things,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions,

No spicy hot food or food cooked with onions,

Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring,

These are a few of my favorite things.

Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’,

Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’,

And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames,

When we remember our favorite things.

When the joints ache, when the hips break,

When the eyes grow dim,

Then I remember the great life I’ve had,

And then I don’t feel so bad.

Reported the contributor, “Ms. Andrews received a standing ovation from the crowd that lasted over four minutes, asking for encores.”

How different from the reaction of Julie’s fellow Londoners during her show in London last May!

During the L.A. interview, I asked Julie what else were her favorite things.

“My grandchildren,” she said, her eyes lighting up. “My garden. My roses. Let me see...what else? Yes, music. My dogs. Reading. Writing. Many things; many, many, many things!”

Toward the end of that memorable interview, I told Julie, “I’ve watched The Sound of Music 50 times.”

She said, “Oh, you have? I’m glad to hear that.”

Of course, I was lying.

I’ve watched The Sound of Music “only” 49 times.

It happens to be one of my own favorite things.

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