Face to Face with Amy Perez

Case #1: A man accuses his cousin of stealing his wife who  surprise, surprise! admits that she’s actually the one who has seduced the cousin who she says is the father, not the husband, of the couple’s youngest child.

Case #2: A wife accuses her gay neighbor of having an affair with her husband who looks as straight as a ramrod. Instead of denying it, the husband makes a clean breast of it and, in the end, not only sides with the gay but chooses him over his wife. The husband turns out to be a closet queen.

Case #3: A laundrywoman accuses her young daughter of being not only disobedient but also disrespectful, answering back and even cursing the mother who can do nothing but dissolve into a helpless heap.

How to resolve these issues involving mostly people from depressed areas?

Call Amy Perez, a.k.a. Tiyang Amy, host/referee of the landmark TV5 show Face to Face which is aptly called ang nag-iisang talakserye sa telebisyon because that’s what the format is — the guests venting their ire on each other the way palengkeras do: hurling invectives (bleep-bleeped!) at each other, punching (if males) each other, pulling (if females) each other’s hair, kicking each other, throwing slippers and shoes (or sometimes their chairs) at each other, inflicting other forms of violence on each other…short of killing each other (but they would if they were not prevented from doing it by the two bouncer-looking guards).

Obviously inspired by the hit US TV show The Jerry Springer Show, Face to Face is local television’s surprise hit, attracting more and more followers from all levels of society every day of the week, Monday thru Friday (10:30 a.m., with a replay same nights at 11 o’clock). It has kumpletos recados. Aside from Tiyang Amy, there’s the (original) Trio Tagapayo to help guests sort out issues between them, composed of lawyer Persida Acosta (chief legal counsel of the Public Attorney’s Office and professor at the Ateneo Law School), Fr. Gerry Tapiador (theology professor, book author and former college dean of San Carlos Seminary) and Dr. Camille Caces-Garcia (child psychologist and chief executive officer of Clinic of the Holy Spirit, a DOH-licensed acute/chronic psychiatric facility). The Tagapayo relievers are Dr. Rose Llanes (professor at UP Manila and president of the Integrated Professional Counselors Association of the Philippines) and Fr. Sonny Merida (parish priest of Saint Peter Parish).

Moderator is Hans Mortel, a UP BS Psychology undergraduate who left school to work full-time as a band member before he became a stand-up comedian for eight years at The Library (alma mater of most of today’s comedians, including Allan K, Arnel Ignacio and Vice Ganda), later moving to Quezon City-based comedy bars Punchline and Laffline. Then, he hosted dzMM’s early-morning counseling program Lovelines (with Jon Ibanez).

The audience is composed of the sawsaweros and sawsaweras who are the kibitzers tasked to take sides by waving placards colored red and white back-to-back, voting for either Sa Pula (guest on one side) or Sa Puti (guest on the other side).

It’s a fun show that makes you feel as if you are eavesdropping or watching your neighbors fight, washing their dirty linen in public.

“Nothing is scripted,” says Tiyang Amy. “The guests share their own true uncensored stories ng walang preno.”

When the guests get carried away and become violent and engage in a scuffle, Tiyang Amy leaves her seat to avoid being hit, screaming, “Sandali lang, sandali lang, sandali lang!!!,” and that’s when the burly guards rush in to pacify the guests.

I watch Face to Face all the time and I know I’m in good company. Doesn’t Susan Roces watch it, too, and so does Luis Manzano? Movie columnist Jojo Gabinete, a regular F2F viewer, is wondering, “How come most of the guests have bad teeth or none at all?” I say, “Because they can’t afford to consult a dentist.” (Paging Tiyang Amy: Why not ask TV5 bosses to initiate a dental/medical mission among the poor protagonists on the show?)

Why does Face to Face click? Simple: It has a cathartic/therapeutic effect on us, what with the protagonists doing exactly what we want to but cannot do because we feel that we belong to a “more polite” (even if “more suppressed”) society. Face to Face serves as an outlet for our own pent-up emotions.

In private life, Amy is mother to two sons, Adi (by former boyfriend Brix Ferraris of South Boarder) and Sean Kyle (by current boyfriend Carlo Castillo, a radio reporter).

How do you choose the guests on your show?

“It’s our researchers who do it. They go over the records in the barangay halls and choose what cases to discuss on the show, minor cases lang naman that we can settle on the air. That’s why the show’s subtitle is ‘Barangay On The Air’. But in cases na mayroon nang pinatay, it’s already a criminal case for the court to hear.”

Most of the protagonists agree to forgive and forget on the show with the help of the Trio Tagapayo. Do you do a follow-up? Baka naman when they go home, ma-revive ang away-away nila.

“Yes, we do. There was a couple na pinakasal namin; we spent for the whole thing, including the wedding and the reception. TV5 is planning to do a follow-up show, a docu-drama which might be launched anytime now — parang Face To Face The Untold Story.”

You are into your second season with more than almost 30 episodes so far. What episodes are most memorable to you?

“One was about a couple, ‘yung wife pregnant and the husband doubted if he was the father dahil nagpa-vasectomy na s’ya. The wife was silent throughout the show, crying and crying. But according to the expert that we consulted, the husband could still get his wife pregnant. When I told the husband that his sperm count was 43 million at kaya pa niyang makabuntis, you know, bumaliktad talaga ang tiyan ko when I saw the husband suddenly feeling so guilty dahil sobra-sobra ‘yung pagbibintang niya sa wife na nanlalalaki while the wife was just crying and crying at hindi na pumapalag, insisting, ‘Wala, wala akong lalaki; ikaw ang ama ng dinadala ko’. Nakakakilabot.”

One time, you even cried.

“I can’t help but be moved especially when the issues involve relationships between mother and son or daughter. Naiiyak talaga ako! Nobody among us is perfect, you know. All of us have similar problems, we suffer from the same emotional wounds. Now that I’m a parent, I really value my relationship with my own mother. We have our own misunderstandings because, you know, kapag bata ka nagrerebelde ka, di ba? Now that I’m halfway through my life…I’m already 40...I’m thankful and lucky that I have reached a point of realization, and I’m having a good relationship now with my mother. I’m grateful that God has given me a chance that before she dies or before I die, I still have enough time to spend with her and be with her.”

Any other episodes?

“The one also about a mother who locked up her child, kinalbo ‘yung anak at kinadena. The mother felt that it was the right way to discipline her child. Sad, di ba?”

Bagay na bagay kang referee sa show.

“Oo nga. Feeling ko napupunta na ako sa public service.”

Don’t you have a tendency to take sides?

“Sometimes I do but I try to stay neutral at dapat lang naman ganoon so I can weigh the pros and cons objectively, impartially. Dapat balanse. I don’t want (the guests) to feel na may kinikilingan ako. I make it a point to listen to all sides without prejudice.”

One time naman, you walked out when the guests kept on screaming at each other and wouldn’t listen to you.

“It was during the episode about the magkakapatid na sabay-sabay nagsasalita at hindi kami magkaintindihan. I didn’t have an intention to walk out. I did it only to make them keep quiet. Ulit ako nang ulit ng ‘sandali lang, sandali, sandali lang!!!’ but they wouldn’t stop, they wouldn’t listen to me, so hayun, nag-walk out ako.”

You should use a giant whistle to hush them up.

“Come to think of it…Kaya lang, matatawa sila kapag magsisilbato ako.”

But generally, you really keep your cool, talagang graceful under pressure. How do you do it?

“Paano nga ba? I think it’s natural with me. I think God has given me that gift which I discovered only lately. But I must confess that I can’t help getting emotional. Like recently, we taped an episode about a child na pina-ampon. ‘Yon, talagang naiyak ako.”

Most of the time, you have to stand up to avoid being hit when the guests start getting at each other and throwing slippers and even the chairs at each other. Don’t you think you and the tagapayo should take precautionary measures or wear protective gear?

“We should but according to TV5 naka-insured naman daw kami. Alam mo, sobrang thankful ako doon sa Trio Tagapayo because they are passionate and compassionate; they really try to reach out and help those people. Napaka-dedicated nila. Most of the time, the two priest-tagapayo are shocked by the stories they are listening. Siempre nga naman, kapag mahirap ka, hindi mo na naiisip na may Diyos. At least on the show, we remind the guests that whatever happens in your life, it’s important that you call on God. Three weeks ago, we started the Payo Sa Bayan, a project which we bring straight to the barangays. Our first stop was Sta. Mesa. Our tagapayo were there to help people sort out and solve their problems. We are going to different places. Eventually, we plan to do a tie-up with local governments, for example DSWD or PDEA, or with politicians.”

Don’t you absorb the negative vibes between the protagonists?

“I try not to get affected talaga but if the case is mahirap or malalim at masakit, I get affected. Most of the time, ganoon din ako sa mga friends ko. Kapag may problems sila, I try to listen to both sides before I make a conclusion and give my advice.”

Your show clicks because it’s an eye-opener for everybody regardless of socio-economic class. The problems of the poor (immorality, infidelity, financial disputes, etc.) are the same as those of the rich, only the amount involved differs and, of course, the manner by which the problems are tackled. The poor go to the barangay center while the rich go to a regional trial court or resort to trial by publicity.

“Sa kanila, ang laki-laki na ng P100 na pinagaawayan nila. The rich won’t bother fighting over that amount, will they? You’re right: Our show is an eye-opener. Ang daming rason para maging thankful tayo sa buhay. At the same time, you laugh because inspite of the hardships, those in depressed areas still have time to play bingo, to play tong-its…ang trabaho ng nanay runner ng drugs, mga ganoon. Nakakalungkot, di ba? Our Payo Sa Bayan is not just for counseling but also to teach people how to engage in livelihood projects.”

 If you were to invite feuding stars as guests, who would you choose?

(Laughs) “Actually, ang dami may ganoong suggestion. I have many choices but I’d rather not name names. I doubt, though, kung papayag silang lumabas. If they did, puede nilang gawin ang usual ding ginagawa ng guests na ordinary people.”

Face to Face is your real TV comeback after the noontime ABS-CBN show Magandang Tanghali Bayan (MTB). You were hosting an after-midnight program on dzMM with Bobby Yan (now with Francine Prieto as Amy’s replacement) when TV5 got you.

“You know, four years ago, I told Tito Boy (Abunda, her manager) that I was ready to go into semi-retirement kasi nga I felt that I had found Mr. Right in the person of Carlo, the man who would be there for me. I felt that I was ready to be a plain housewife.”

Mukhang mabait si Carlo.

“Actually, he is. Sobrang mahal n’ya si Adi. Recently, we had a recollection. It was my first time to attend that kind of event. We wrote Adi a letter. Carlo addressed his letter, ‘To my dear panganay…’ I was so touched by it that I cried. Carlo really treats Adi as his own son. Adi is growing up fast. Carlo and I are preparing ourselves. Four years from now, binata na si Adi. I reminded him, ‘Adi, basta let me know kapag may crush ka na, ha.’ He said, ‘Wala pa naman akong crush, Mommy, so hindi ka pa iiyak.’ During the seminar before the recollection, Carlo and I were briefed on how to handle a teenager. You know naman in these times, young people are so advanced. During our time, kapag sinabi ng parents nating ‘Quiet!,’ we kept quiet. Now, teenagers will ask, ‘Why?’”

There are reports that you were summarily terminated by ABS-CBN when you accepted the TV5 offer. May tampo ka ba sa ABS-CBN?

“I won’t tell a lie and say na wala. Ang masakit lang, some people were saying that I was an ingrate. Tell me, can I bank on loyalty and feed my family? I’m thankful that another company made a good offer, too good to be turned down.”

How often do you tape Face to Face?

“Twice a week, every Wednesday and Thursday, for three episodes every taping. The rest of the week I am home unlike when I was on radio when I would leave the house before midnight and go home at around 3 a.m. Now, I have more time for myself and for my family. For the new show, all I will do is the spiels na gagawin during the taping for Face to Face. Monday and Tuesday nasa bahay lang ako. Friday to Sunday, nasa bahay pa rin ako.”

I wonder, what about when you have problems, who do you run to?

“I seek the advice of my friends. Andyan si Bing (Loyzaga), si Agot (Isidro), andyan si Roderick (Paulate), andyan si Tito Boy and other friends. Or I talk to my mom, or to my sisters. Luckily, sa buhay ko parang the storms have passed.”

What was the biggest storm that you have survived?

“My separation from Brix. After that, I passed through a lot of turbulence in my life pero kalmado na ako.”

Are you okay with Brix?

“We haven’t seen each other, we haven’t talked. Ang huli kong balita, he’s in the States daw, may sarili na rin yatang buhay. My only wish is for us to talk para ma-settle na once and for all ang mga dapat ma-settle.”

Oh, you mean face-to-face?

(Laughs) “Yes, face-to-face. To clear everything so that I can attend to many other things. Like, gusto rin naman namin ni Carlo na makasal, para in the eyes of God and under the law ay ayos na kami. After all, four years na kaming nagsasama.”

Carlo is eligible, right?

“Yes, he is. I’m very thankful nga that his family accepted me and Adi with open arms and open hearts, buong-buo…alam mo ‘yon.”

Your guiding principle in life?

“The Golden Rule. And to be grateful to God everytime I wake up in the morning.”

One last de-kahon question: Face-to-face with God, what would you tell Him?

“Siguro lang, thank you…thank you for giving me a second chance in my love life and in my career…a second chance na ayusin ko ang lahat including my relationship with my family, that I did all of that before it was too late. Thank you, God!”

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