'Anak ng Foot Ang Toe'

Preparing for my Las Vegas Trip number 41 — After coming from Eat, Bulaga! one very hot afternoon about two weeks ago, I thought of walking around mainly to purchase some art supplies and materials and likewise, to visit a few art galleries. And besides, parang exercise na rin which I abundantly... lack. Ngek!

Yes, I confess: I am truly lazy like a dog to have even a semi-regular workout. Not that I admit I’m old already, but I just don’t like the idea and the feeling of being tired. Exercise and this writer have a what you call “loathe-hate” relationship. Ngek!

Ewan ko ba, maybe I equate my being a workaholic to exertion made for physical fitness. Remember, twice did I have six television shows in a week in my career, including a daily grind that is Eat, Bulaga! I’ve had between 50 and 60 TV shows in my entire profession. Dapat siguro nga mag-rehab na ako eh! Ngek!

That’s why I question — Do I still need to exercise? Sabi ko nga — pareho namang may “work” ang “workaholic” at “workout” eh. Pwede.

This is a true story — Once, I seriously asked one of my doctors if “thinking” could be a replacement for physical exercise and get the same results — a healthy this and that and some burned calories. I don’t remember now how that doctor reacted and answered me. Well, I think my thinking now is also becoming weak and needs a workout, too.

My only daily exercise is going up the stairs of our Eat, Bulaga! studio. I wanted to include my going down those same stairs whenever I leave the show, but I don’t want to cheat.

Going back to that hot afternoon — as I went to the car, I felt that the heat became more intense and the high temperature came to an uncomfortable and unbearable degree already. It seemed that anytime, my deodorant would expire. So finally, I decided quickly to call off my planned walking exercise. I just went home.

I immediately thought of a replacement activity for my feet and legs, at dahil ako’y isang Pinoy Henyo, s’yempre mabilis ako mag-isip.

The ending: I had a foot spa!

Anak ng foot spa! Ang galing mo, Joey!

Ah yes, in case you don’t know, nearly everything and anything, especially personal services that include massage, foot spa and the like, can now be delivered and performed in the comfort of your homes.

Would you believe that even Brazilian waxing is just a phone call away?

And wait, there’s more — even pirated DVDs!

Well, in this case, just be extra careful ladies — you might get excited of the offers and get mixed up one day — baka lang ang mag-Brazilian wax sa inyo eh ‘yung pirata! Ngek!

Kunsabagay, their lines of work are somewhat similar — they both engage in CLEAR-ing operations. Wow!

Back to my story — in the course of that unscheduled foot spa, I experienced something not clear. The famous saying that “your body is a temple” suddenly got into my temple area... at bigla akong naging ma-drama. I just thought that everything has a connection. Our whole body is made up of several families. Ang inyong Kapuso ay biglang naging isang Kapamilya. We are all connected. All parts of our body are connected (natural naman siguro ‘no ... kung hindi, luray-luray tayo). We are family. And we are a family tree. Our eyes, ears, nose and mouth are the children of our head. The fingers are the children of our hands. The leg is the mother of the foot, and the thigh is the foot’s Pa. Foot spa? And when I looked down the attendant working on my lower extremities, I cried out, “Anak ng Foot ang Toe?!”

It could be the heat. I needed a break.

Kaya nga eto eh. Viva Las Vegas!

* * *

WOW, MALI!: Dapat ang gagamitin ko dito ERRATUM because it was an error about the era. In last Sunday’s picture, I discovered that my son Jako, who did the caption, stated that my picture there as an ABS-CBN disc jockey was taken in the early `60s. Lokong bata ire ah, masyado akong pinatanda. Siguro ‘yun ang naisip n’ya dahil black and white kasi ‘yung photo at medyo papunta na sa sepia. Actually, it was taken in the early `70s.

* * *

Not because my father’s side of the family comes from Bulacan, but I used to call people from Eat, Bulaga! Bulagueños. I even came up with the idea of calling us Eat People, but it sounded cannibalistic and naughty.

After three decades, I thought of Tatlong Dekads Ng Dabarkads and we started calling us simply Dabarkads. “Decades” sounds like a combination of “decay” and “age.” Ngek!

Now we have a new name — The Eatles. And now that we are The Eatles, I just wish that the name of the street where our studio is located be changed to EB Road.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!