Rudy Fernandez: Life is beautiful!

"I ain’t gonna die yet!"

When Rudy Fernandez gave his well-wishers that assurance during a surprise party last March 3 (when he turned 54) prepared for him by his wife, Lorna Tolentino, and their close friends, everybody else (his fans especially) wondered, "Why? Is his condition that bad? Is he serious?"

Yes, Rudy’s cancer has come back.

This time last year, Rudy was diagnosed to have peri-ampullary cancer; it’s the duct that connects the pancreas to the intestines. He underwent whipple surgery but didn’t have to undergo chemotherapy. After only a few weeks, he was back on his feet, looking as good as new, fit to resume working on two GMA shows, Now & Forever (with Lorna) and Atlantika (the teleserye).

Just when Rudy thought that he was well on the way to full recovery, during his recent check-up, his doctors found that his cancer has metastasized to his liver where two small tumors were detected. No, there was no need for surgery this time. But Rudy was told that he was to undergo 12 sessions of chemotherapy, twice a month.

"I’m not giving up," said Rudy.

Last Wednesday when Conversations visited Rudy and Lorna at their White Plains (Quezon City) residence for an exclusive interview (The STAR is the only paper they agreed to open up to), the couple had just come home from Rudy’s third chemo session. If he were not holding a piece of cotton to his wrist where the chemo needle was injected, you would have thought that Rudy just came from the gym. He looked so healthy, you wouldn’t think that he’s battling the Big C.

"It’s painful," Rudy said of the procedure. "In the next few days, I will start feeling the side effects."

He lives life as normally as if nothing is wrong with him. In a few days, he and some friends are going to Macau for a vacation. Anytime this summer, he and Lorna will fly to Tokyo for a "radi-frequency ablation" treatment (designed to destroy cancerous cells in his liver).

Buoyed by unflinching fighting spirit, Rudy talked about how he’s coping with the Big C, how it has changed the way he and Lorna look at life, what they’re learning from the experience (helped along by family and friends), and why he’s confident that he will beat the Big C because of the best medical treatment he’s getting, his positive thinking and his unwavering faith in God.

After your surgery last year, did your doctors tell you that the cancer might recur?

Rudy: Yes, they did. In many cases, the cancer doesn’t return, according to the doctors. But in my case, the cancer must be in love with me so it came back. (Followed by laughter)

It’s good that you can laugh about it.

Rudy: Positive thinking. They say that the best medicine in the world is a positive attitude. And faith in God.

Besides medicine, faith-healing is also important, isn’t it?

Rudy: Before I had my recent check-up, I underwent faith-healing with Fr. Corsie and Fr. Suarez. I was hoping and praying that during the check-up, the tumor would be found negative. Unfortunately...

Any do’s and don’t’s?

Rudy: None. I can eat anything, except sweets because after my first surgery I became diabetic. Now that I’m undergoing chemotherapy, I have to eat para malakas ang katawan ko.

Lorna: Because during the chemo period his immune system weakens, he’s not supposed to be in crowded places, such as parties. He can be easily infected especially if he comes in contact with people suffering from colds.

Rudy: There are several types of chemo, with different side effects. One type, in pill form, results in discoloration. I didn’t like it because it would make me feel depressed. Another type could make pimples break out in my face. I also didn’t like it. The side effects of the type I’m undergoing are minimal loss of hair, nausea, mild vomitting and numbness in the hands. I’m sick, all right, but I don’t feel it. Basta, I have a positive attitude. I keep telling myself, "You will make it; kaya mo yan. I won’t die from it."

Lorna: The side effects usually last for three to four days. He feels fatigue; parang nalo-low-batt.

You recovered fast from your surgery last year.

Rudy: As I’ve said, positive thinking. I think it’s very important whether you’re sick or not. Mind over matter.

Lorna: Having a positive mental attitude is a wonder drug.

During your recovery from your surgery last year, you said you saw in your dreams dead people, including your dad, director (Dr.) Gregorio Fernandez, and other people you knew.

Rudy (laughing): This time, thank God I’m not seeing dead people.

During your recent birthday celebration, you became emotional and you said, "I ain’t gonna die yet!" and that made people wonder why.

Lorna: It was a surprise party. Everybody became emotional, so things became dramatic.

Rudy: I didn’t know that it was a big party. I thought it was only with a small group, about 10 to 15 people, our barkada. It turned out that the whole affair was planned by LT and (Sen.) Jinggoy (Estrada), together with Ipe (Phillip Salvador) and (Sen.) Bong (Revilla). I was touched, so I cried. And they were singing sentimental songs, mga kantang nagpapaiyak. I am overwhelmed by their support. When I was well, they didn’t call me every day. Now, they check on me daily, asking how I am. Every now and then, my friends invite me on trips abroad, all-expenses-paid. They’re spoiling me.

In situations like this, support of family and friends is really important, ‘no?

Rudy: Yes. There’s also Pipo (Tirso Cruz III), Mommy Seiko (Mrs. Aurora Tan, the cancer-survivor mother of Seiko producer Robbie Tan and top dermatologist Dr. Nellie Yu. — RFL), Sharon (Cuneta) and many others.

Lorna: Sharon has been sending us inspiring books.

Rudy: It’s now more than ever that I feel the essence of our marriage vows, especially the lines, "for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health...till death do us part." Ramdam na ramdam ko.

How did you break the sad news to your children?

Lorna: They are taking it well. We told them what to expect, what we would have to go through. Nakahanda na sila.

Rudy: If you check in the Internet, you will be scared. In a case like mine, six months lang daw ang survival rate. But I’m not afraid; hindi ako natatakot d’un.

But it’s good to know that several supposedly terminal cases have recovered and are now in good health, like Ryan O’Neal (leukemia) and Lance Armstrong (a champion cyclist).

Rudy: I checked Armstrong’s story in the Internet. It’s very inspiring. He’s a cycling champion. His career was interrupted by cancer. But he survived and when he competed again, champion pa rin siya. I will be like him. I will beat cancer. And then, I will start making movies again. Ang gagawin ko, mga action films pa rin. Sigurado akong malalampasan ko ‘to. When I am well again, I plan to give moral support to people who are suffering from the same illness.

Are you taking any supplements, of course with your doctors’ permission?

Lorna: He’s taking lemon-grass (tanglad) tea. A friend gave us snow-lotus seeds from Korea. We ferment them, drain them; the whole process takes 24 hours. We make the juice into tea and he’s also taking it.

As care-giver, how are you taking it?

Lorna: Rudy has a very positive attitude so he’s not hard to take care of; hindi siya mahirap alagaan.

Rudy: I also went through depression but only for a while, only for two days. That was after I learned that my cancer has come back. But after two days, my spirits were up again. I started moving on. Why sulk? Bakit ako magmumukmok?

Lorna: I was the one who broke down. I cried and cried, and Rudy was trying to console me. I told him, "Pagbigyan mo naman ako!" I wanted to let go of the fear and the anxiety and the worries that I’d been storing up inside me. Rudy’s doctors were very gentle. When we asked what stage Rudy’s cancer was at, they said, "No stage."

Rudy: Fourth stage, actually. But even if it’s at the fifth stage, I told myself, "Kaya mo ‘yan!" As long as I have the medication.

Lorna: The good thing is that, according to the doctors, the chemo is working. The ultrasound after the second chemo showed that the two tumors aren’t growing and no other tumor was found.

Rudy: I have to thank my doctors. They’re the best; they’re very comforting. Dr. Gina Bagsik, my attending physician; Dr. Malou Tiambeng, my oncologist; Dr. Christian Eric Salvador; and Dr. Samuel Ang, the one who operated on me.

How has the experience changed your outlook in life?

Lorna: That only God is the answer to everything; only God has the answer. Now, we are stronger spiritually. We do Bible study every Monday. Aside from the regular Mass on Sundays, we hear Mass every Tuesday midnight at the Shrine of Our Lady of Perpetual Help in Baclaran.

Rudy: We look at it as one of the trials in our life. The Lord is testing me, testing us. The experience hasn’t changed my outlook in life because I’ve always been positive. Mas naging matatag lang ako.

Did you ever question God and ask, "Why me?"

Rudy: No, never. I don’t have any reason or any right to question God because God has been good to me all my life. My philosophy is, "If it’s your time, it’s your time. If you gotta go, you gotta go." All of us will go, anyway; it’s just a matter of when and who will go first.

If I go ahead, then that’s it. That’s life. I have removed fear from my mind because I have faith in The Lord. If He’d take me tomorrow, then so be it. But, of course, I want to live longer. I believe that with God, nothing is impossible. With faith in God, positive thinking and a team of good doctors, I know I will make it.

What’s the best lesson that you learned from the experience?

Rudy: That life has many surprises. You realize that life is beautiful...na ang sarap pala mabuhay kapag alam mong...Oops! But you have to be a fighter...fighter sa lahat ng bagay.

Lorna: That only God knows the way. Also, it’s best to live one day at a time.

Rudy: I’ve started to appreciate life more. Ang sarap mabuhay, di ba? Life is beautiful.

So you have nine more chemo sessions to go.

Rudy: Yes. And you know what the irony of it all is? I’m scared of injections. Takot ako sa karayom. (And then he laughed again, his eyes turning a bit misty.)

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