Marriage not a piece of Candy

Looking at Candy Pangilinan making the world laugh (as she did in her Valentine show Candy’s Be Love?), nobody would suspect that she’s falling apart inside. She’s the typical clown – you know, laughing on the outside, crying on the inside.

Reason: She hasn’t totally recovered from the break-up of her marriage nearly three years ago. Meaning, she’s still hurting?

"Not naman hurting," said Candy. "I should say, learning lessons in life the hard, painful way."

Candy, 33, and her estranged husband (also 33, who will remain unidentified as Candy requested, "Because he’s not from showbiz; he’s involved in telecommunications") went steady for seven years before they got married in 2001. Their marriage crumbled two years later. They have a two-year-old child (who also has to be unnamed to protect her innocence and privacy).

Theirs wasn’t a match made in heaven as Candy soon realized.

"Even when I was pregnant," disclosed Candy, "he was already playing around. A month after I gave birth, hayun, lumayas na siya ng bahay. That was in 2003. He said it was all my fault. Sira daw ang ulo ko. I was insane daw. For a while, to give him the benefit of the doubt, I consulted a psychiatrist. Baka nga naman sira ang ulo ko. But there was nothing wrong with me."

Was it a case of love is blind and, you know...?

Laughed Candy, "Maybe. Love is blind, all right, but your neighbors can see."

And what the neighbors "can see" was a lot, indeed!

"Early on, there was a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of miscommunication and a lot of mistrust between us. After reviewing everything, I wouldn’t say that it was all my fault as he said. I wasn’t imagining things as he said. I tried to make adjustments. For example, when we went to the movies...He liked Jackie Chan, so maski mas gusto kong manood ng, halimbawa, Memoirs of a Geisha, okay doon ako sa Jackie Chan maski ayoko kay Jackie Chan."

Did she dominate him because perhaps she was perceived to be more successful, more accomplished?

"Maybe I did pero hindi ko sinasadya. I guess strong lang ang character ko. I guess I should have been even more submissive."

Was she a nagger? Was she, as he accused her, "seeing things"?

"I don’t think so. Early in our marriage, he had flings here and there, including in his place of work, besides having a constant fling. Several times, I caught him not really ‘in the act’ but after the act – as in, you know, in bed (with another woman)."

Did she become violent?

"No, I was in denial. Unlike in the movies when the wife would confront her philandering husband, I was numb. Nanghina ako, eh!

Sometimes, I would find a bra in his car. He would say, ‘Sa iyo ‘yan,’ and I would turn a blind eye and say, ‘Baka nga akin ‘yan.’ It became a cycle of catching him and forgiving him and catching him and forgiving him. It got to a point where I started doubting my sanity. And then I saw a psychiatrist."

Since she has lost contact with her estranged husband, Candy has become mother, father, friend, sister, playmate and sole provider for her child. "I’ve stopped expecting him to see or visit our child," said Candy. "I don’t want our child to beg for attention, or affection."

Her "therapy"?

"Work," said Candy.

She has just finished shooting the Star Cinema romance-comedy D’Lucky Ones, starring Sandara Park and Joseph Bitangcol, where Candy is pitted riotous scene by riotous scene with Pokwang and Eugene Domingo who are such scene-stealers as the bickering Vilmanians tearing at each other with lines from Vilma Santos movies quoted verbatim.

On April 8 at 8 p.m., Candy will mount the stage of the Music Museum for the repeat of Candy’s Be Love? featuring all-new sketches written by Candy herself.

"I’ve been celibate since my husband left me," said Candy and she wasn’t joking. "I get my ‘high’ when I’m on stage."

(Note: Candy’s Be Love? The Repeat, directed by Andrew de Real and scripted by Candy herself, is presented by X Zone Entertainment Inc., Star Factor Inc. and Open House Inc., with the special participation of the CCP Pep Squad, Las Piñas Boys Choir, William Devaughn, Jeni Hernandez and "surprise guests." Tickets are priced at P1,500, P1,000, P850 and P500. For inquiries, call X Zone Entertainment at 914-1104, Ticketworld at 891-9999 or Music Museum at 721-6726.)

Fr. Joey Faller’s healing sked

Fr. Joey Faller’s regular healing Masses are as follows:

• Every Monday and Saturday, 9 a.m., healing Mass; and every Sunday, 4 p.m., Mass and blessing of the sick, both at Kamay ni Hesus Healing Church in Barangay Tinamnan, Lucban, Quezon.

• Every third Tuesday of the month, 9 a.m., healing Mass at the Buklod ng Pag-ibig Chapel, #97 Balete Drive Ext., QC.

• Every first Wednesday of the month, 12 noon, healing Mass at the Chapel of the Eucharistic Lord, SM Megamall, Mandaluyong City.

• Every second Friday of the month, 5 p.m., healing Mass at the St. Francis of Assisi Church, Sariaya, Quezon.

•Every third Friday of the month, 7 p.m., healing Mass at St. Joseph The Patriarch Church, Mabolo, Cebu City.

• Every fourth Friday of the month, 1 p.m., healing Mass at the Shrine of Divine Mercy, Maysilo Circle, Mandaluyong City.

• Every first Sunday of the month, 9 a.m., Sunday Mass at SM North EDSA.

•Every third Sunday of the month, 9:30 a.m., Sunday Mass at Circle-C Mall, Congressional Ave., QC.

•Every first, third and fifth Sunday, 8 a.m., Sunday healing Mass at NBN Channel 4, Visayas Ave., QC.

•Every second and fourth Sunday, 9 a.m., Sunday Mass at SM Bacoor, Cavite City.

•Every fourth Sunday of the month, 7 p.m., Sunday Mass at St. Louise Parish Church, Lucban, Quezon.

(Note: Schedules are subject to change without prior notice. For inquiries, prayer requests and invitations, call (042) 540-3085, (02) 929-0333, or mobile phone 0917-853-6267.)

What’s up?

•The Kamuning Elementary School Alumni Association will have a grand homecoming on Saturday, April 1, 4:30 p.m. at the school grounds. Alumni can have a nostalgic tour of the campus, revive old friendships and have lots of fun. For more details, call Cristy Malig (Class of 1972) at 922-6632 or 0917-3847452 or Pilar Montoya (Class of 1962) at 845-4991 or 0921-9846633.

(E-mail reactions at [email protected])