A closer look at Angelica Panganiban

It’s easy to see why some of her classmates turn green with envy when they see Angelica Panganiban

With fans screaming her name – and that of love teammate Carlo Aquino’s – in her ears, a doting mom, high grades at St. Vincent School, who can ask for more?

At least that’s how it looks to her high school classmates, who marvel at how Angelica can manage to graduate with honors while busy with a showbiz career.

But why is there a sadness behind those sparkling eyes that turn into slits of delight at a complement (which often comes her way), or a casual joke?

Why does she cry so convincingly in those TV soaps, even when at 16, Angelica has yet to have her first heartache?

Look again. And this time, look closer.

The young ‘un is growing up all by her lonesome. She aches for her three cousins, with whom she shared many a happy memory when they were still in the country, and not in faraway Los Angeles, where they have migrated with their parents.

It gets more agonizing when Angelica is in her room at night and has said her bedtime prayers before plopping to bed on a usually frenzied day.

"It is their images, and nothing but, that always flash in my mind," she sighs. At this point, the silence can be downright deafening.

Angelica would hug her pillow, recalling times she would drop off each of her cousins to school before heading to her own classes. She’d cry while remembering how, miffed after her mother scolded her, Angelica would seek solace in her cousins’ company. "They were like the brothers and sisters I never had," she explains. "They are almost my age. I’d show them the scripts I wrote (thanks to her mentor, Marsha de Jesus, G-Mik scriptwriter). My Mom would force me to show it to her, but I never did. Some things you want to share only with those your age."

But slowly, the star of Berks is getting over her loneliness. Carlo Aquino is slowly filling the void Angelica’s cousins left in her life. The 17-year-old Carlo hangs out often in her house in a Quezon City subdivision, and chats with Angelica’s mom.

"They’re friends," she says of Carlo. "Often, I just find out he’s at home, talking to my mom. He’s also the reason why I’m happier these days. I don’t worry over my cousins that much anymore."

She and Carlo practically grew up together, on the set of ABS-CBN’s Ang TV. He used to tease, even make her cry a lot.

They were the best of friends, and Carlo knew everything about Angelica – her strengths and weaknesses, since Day One (or "the time when his voice was still that of a child’s," recalls Angelica).

She knows Carlo had a lot of girlfriends. Once, she borrowed his cellular phone and discovered that it’s filled with text messages from girls.

But now, the former child actor seems to have found the one girl he has decided to stick around with. Carlo’s frequent visits to Angelica’s house prove this.

Angelica’s fondness for Carlo therefore, did not come in a snap. It’s the product of a drawn-out process, the result of years of knowing each other well.

The other ace up Carlo’s sleeve as far as winning Angelica’s heart is concerned is his closeness to her mom. Any suitor, must get along well with Angelica’s mom.

After all, it was her mom who raised Angelica all by her lonesome since her daughter was two.

"My parents split up when I was very young, so I don’t really miss my dad. I only do when my classmates talk about how good their fathers are, and how they first ask their permission to go anywhere before seeking their mom out," says Angelica.

In fact, Angelica is using her mom’s maiden name, Panganiban. And she looks up to her maternal grandfather as a father figure. Angelica’s only idea of her dad borders on the physical: an old photo of him. Nothing more, nothing less.

But that’s okay. Her mother’s company is enough for Angelica. In fact, they are now vacationing in LA, where they are staying with a sprinkling of relatives till May.

"At least in the US, I won’t get pinched or pulled aside for a picture-taking session while walking around the mall," Angelica shows how much she guards her privacy. Any semblance of normalcy, which she doesn’t have in Manila, is a welcome respite.

By the time she’s back in Manila, Angelica’s new movie, Maverick Films’ action flick, Dayo will already be showing in Metro theaters (playdate is May 7).

Angelica plays a key role as lead actor Ronnie Ricketts’ long-lost sister, whom he is looking for amid the ruins of World War III. It’s another challenging role for the FAMAS Best Child Actress, who would give her right arm to play an autistic someday.

"I’d rather be known as an actress instead of a star," the incoming Mass Communication freshman at Thames School says. That’s why her favorite among all the movies she has done is Ama, Ina, Anak, for which she got a Best Child Actress nomination at the FAMAS.

In choosing the hard-earned rewards of her craft over the razzle dazzle of stardom, Angelica Panganiban is showing how sensible and refreshingly different she can be.