Benefits of Connecting the Youth and the Elderly

CEBU, Philippines — While soda fountains may be a thing of the past, there still seems to be a magical nostalgia centered around the local ice cream shop. On a recent visit to a new local custard shop, I was struck by two things. The first was the fact that just like days gone by, families were sitting at tables enjoying their frosty desserts and yet each of these family tables was missing a grandparent.

Do grandparents not take their grandchildren for ice cream anymore? Then, a new scene caught my eye. There were several tables of two in which sat senior couples quietly enjoying their treats and before each elderly couple left the shop they turned to table of young ones near them and spoke to the children. Both the children and seniors seem to light up at the sight of each other.

In the recent past, extended families often lived within the same home or very close to each other; however, this does not occur as frequently today. Even though people live healthier, longer lives, they expect to be self-sufficient. In the US, the trend in recent decades is for older people to live alone.

As a result of this desire for independence, either by nuclear families or older adults, only one in eight single elderly adults now lives with extended family. The paradox is that although children today are more likely to have healthy, active grandparents, they are also less likely to know their grandparents well or visit with them frequently.

While it is not always possible for families to be in close proximity, it is important for both youth and the elderly to connect with those of differing generations.

According to Erik Erikson, one of the first psychologists to describe social development across the lifespan, the final stage of emotional development is experienced around the age of 60 and older. Developing connections with a younger generation can help older adults feel a greater sense of fulfillment. In fact, linking older adults with youth can provide advantages for both groups.

For example, such relationships can:

• Provide an opportunity for both to learn new skills;

• Give the child and the older adult a sense of purpose;

• Help to alleviate fears children may have of the elderly;

• Help children to understand and later accept their own aging;

• Invigorate and energize older adults;

• Help reduce the likelihood of depression in the elderly;

• Reduce the isolation of older adults;

• Fill a void for children who do not have grandparents available to them;

• Help keep family stories and history alive;

• Aide in cognitive stimulation as well as broaden social circles should a youth introduce technology into the life of an elderly.

According to researchers at the University of Florida, relating to older adults can be particularly challenging for adolescents. Adolescents tend to be focused on the present and think mainly about themselves, so they may be less interested in learning about older adults. Teens may display negative behavior that is hard for older adults to understand and adolescents will need guidance and encouragement to help them relate to older adults and understand the implications of aging.

Several shared activities will help:

Storytelling. Swapping stories is a great activity and can help build a connection.

Learning skills. Many older adults have skills or talents that would be interesting for children. Perhaps your child could learn to weave, crochet, fish, bake, or even take care of animals.

Reading to each other.

Planning/preparing a meal (if applicable).

Scrapbooking/Establishing phone pals. This activity can connect older community members with children who are alone after school.

Talking about heritage. Share local customs, discuss the meaning of a name in native language, or relate special stories passed down about culture.

Planting seeds or gardening. This illustrates the stages of the life cycle. A container garden can be created if bending or space are issues.

Weather watching.

Telling jokes.

Discussing hobbies and sharing examples.

Having the child teach the senior a new technology.

Intergenerational relationships is beneficial for both the young and the old. Family histories are brought to life through the stories shared. And the spark of vitality returns to the faces of the elderly, feeling secure that the young will carry these stories forward. The young, for their part, will be guided by the wisdom of the old.

Source: University of Florida, http://edis.ifas.ufl.edu/fy1007

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